Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Longshots

This movie was pretty simple. One has probably seen it many times. This was a shortened version of many other sports movies. Even the championship game, the pop warner Super Bowl, had only four-five plays. Some decent music accompanied this movie but it was not Ice Cube songs that carried the day. One of the beats was actually reminiscent to last year's blockbuster The Bourne Ultimatum.

Ice Cube performed well. The ending is a surprise, not unlike Finding Forester. But one can win in other ways than just on the sports field. Football purists will enjoy some of the football scenes and strategy explained in the film.

I am not sure if a school teacher would date a bum but that is another story.

The movie had some family strife. It was a luke warm movie, not a heroic feat. It will probably last no more than 2 weeks in the theatre. Worth renting but that depends on what else is on the shelf. I would rather rent Any Given Sunday and watch it for the fourth time than sit this movie again. And Ice Cube is my top rapper.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Death Race

This movie was a combination of Lock Up, The Running Man, and Undisputed. Jason Statham plays in other high octane, action packed movie. It is predictable and not even close to the equal of The Transporter. Not sure if he well ever top that though. That movie was superb. The Italian Job was excellent as well but that is more Mark Walberg's treat. I wonder if Statham will have a larger role in the upcoming feature, The Brazilian Job?

The Death Race did have some nice beats and well chosen music. Atleast for anyone younger than 40. A gorgeous Mexican actress is presented to us in this film, Natalie Martinez. The competion is fierce, but she is a step above Eva Mendez and I do not have to Natalie in another movie to determine this.

Not a complicated movie, the movie had a sweet ending. Why they made a big deal about each driver and then killed them off so simply does not make allot of sense. But if I had a life sentence and I could possibly reduce that by driving a powerful car with 30 millimeter machine guns and missile launchers, why not? Just like my dad always says, rather have a quick death than a slow one.

This movie never shows the audience or anyone in their home watching this death race. They went cheap there or someone forgot the obvious. This is a blank whole in this film.

Tyrese will never win an Oscar, but he will make money and toss out one liners written by generation X script writers. No different than Fast and Furious II, Tyrese enjoys to drive fast and thwart the law. But in Death Race, the law is corrupt and the Warden on this island prison is an immoral dictator played by Joan Allen. She does her job, but she is still not much to look at. She plays the hard ass well, this type of warden is nothing new.

Death Race is entertaining but will be in the theatres probably no longer than two weeks.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


Well, Kiefer Sutherland went the Michael Keaton and Julianne Moore route of making a horror movie after their star has already risen. This was probably the best of the three. Keaton's White Noise was pretty weak . Moore's The Forgotten was frightening but it is depressing since how does one fight all powerful aliens? Totally fiction though. The real reason Sutherland probably took this movie or role is since he screwed up with a DUI last fall and it cost him to take a year off of the hit show 24. Ofcourse the writer's strike did not help much either.

Mirrors was also accompanied by the new Halle Barry, probably the most attractive black woman, or woman, for that matter, in the world. I am referring to Paula Patton who first braced us with her gorgeous presence in the action thriller De Ja Vu. She was stunning in this movie, completely gorgeous. Even during the frightening moments at the end, I just eyeballed her beauty and ignored all the chaos.

This movie had another annoying scene at the end when the son just wanders off. I probably loath these scenes since it is hard to believe that any one is this foolish, even a 10 year old. That is right, even at 10 I would not have wandered into total darkness or danger like that. In this case, it was his own bedroom down the hall. I would stayed right there near my momma. Shortly afterward, the daughter is cut in the throat and the mother does not call 911 and should have sent her outside the home to alert the neighbors or atleast scream so loud that the neighbors come running outside their homes. Not an award winning film but something to pay some of these folk's bills.

Mirrors is about a entity that is trapped in mirrors and wants to cross over to our side but it can not until some person brings this older woman to this building. This building should be torn down but for some reason just sits there as a massive eye sore. Sutherland's little investigation has been done before countless times but the movie really does not have any slow or dull scenes. Sutherland takes over the night watch, where I would have just remained in the trailer watching TV or reading a book or cruising the net. No, I would not have made any rounds in such a massive creepy place, not until the sun rose and I would have not have walked too far into the place. The front door would have been strongly held open as well. Job requirements can be bypassed, the interior of this building was just one big hazard even if an evil force was not following the inhabitants around.

This movie would be a solid Holloween watch. The middle of the movie, the blond from Road Trip and Crank has a nasty ending. Totally fiction but her presence in the mirror, the demon, looking at her in her with her appearance is spooky when she is in the bathroom. Special affects were passable.

It went after Sutherland since he was vulnerable and was stressed from his previous NYPD detective position. Apparently, he was involved in a controversial shooting.

Mirrors could have a sequel with that twisted ending. Not sure if Sutherland would want to do that.

When watching this half way decent horror movie, perhaps the best this year, Jack Bauer was ever present. Anyone who has seen 24, Sutherland has totally consumed that role and for the good, he can not escape that charismatic and powerful acting force. Ofcourse if Jack Bauer was really in this movie, he would have jumped into the mirrors when the movie first began and beat the crap out of this evil force before the day was half over. And then had a whopper for lunch.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Tropic Thunder

This movie will worth bashing since it knocked off the spectacular The Dark Knight off the top of the charts. The first movie to do so.

Tropic Thunder had some major stars in the movie, Tom Cruise and Nick Nolte which was surprising. Tom Cruise had a mask on which was similiar to his chameleon type skills in the Mission Impossible movies.

Pineapple Express is several times more funny than Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder has been done before, it was a hog podge of movies all rolled into one. Not to say Pineapple was not either but the stoner movie, with a hot blond, and goofy plot has not been done in a while. Ben Stiller has not really been hilarious since Meet the Parents. In Along Came Polly, it is not him but what happens to him that is mostly funny and his sidekick Phillip Seymore Koffman that sparks interest, hopefully I spelled his name correctly.

Jack Black and Robert Downy Jr were both in Tropic Thunder. Downy's voice must have been dubbed over with a black voice and it was funny and convincing.

The plot consisted of a "gay" or soft director wanting to film the most life like war movie. He was already copying Platoon but that is part of the comedy. They were in Vietnam, so they took the 6 main actors on a helicopter ride into the middle of no where. After putting cameras up every where, and setting up bombs and a new script, they wanted the acting to be more real. Unbeknwest to them, a real life Southeast Asian herion trafficking group had their outfit in operation nearby to where the helicopter dropped off these crew members. It was pretty predictable, Ben Stiller's character really thought it was all part of the act similiar to Three Amigos with Steve Martin. The most hilarious part was here when the director was blown up by an old French mine. Stiller thinking it a ruse, started drinking the blood from his neck. But it was real, Stiller's character not thinking so.

I found myself not laughing that much, the action at the end, totally incredible, the movie was star studded but lacking true comedy. Pineapple is clearly superior, I laughed hysterically at this film about every 10 minutes, perhaps more.

Jack Black probably chose to be teamed up with Ben Stiller since his last few movies have been flops.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Pineapple Express

This movie was hilarious. It was up there with Superbad and is included with the new hot blond on the scene, Amber Heard from Never Back Down. The movie was funnier than the weird The Love Guru and Adam Sandler's redundant politically correct You Don't Mess With the Zohan.

It was interesting to see Spiderman's The Green Goblin, that young actor in a goofy movie like this. He was a stoner, not unlike Jeff Bridges in the outstanding and memorable The Big Lebowski. This movie was like that movie with just a little action at the end and some action throughout. Rosie Perez resides in this comedy and performs well but she is not Amber Beard nor is she suppose to.

I always thought Rosie Perez was sort of annoying but oh well. It is another hit for Seth Rogen and I am sure his stock will continue to do well. No cameo from his buddy, the short curly hair chubby boy who starred in Superbad. I was laughing hysterically in Pineapple more than once, it was just so silly. Why a hottie like Amber Beard would be with a fat, older dude like Seth is not really fiction, I saw that allot when I lived in AZ.


This movie was OK, it has been done before. It did have some hotties in the movie, including Xmen's Famke (Jean Grey or The Phoenix).

It did show how corrupt the French are and Liam Neesan tore them up and ripped into the nasty status quo of trafficking woman in Paris. It is amazing how gullable some girls are, including wealthy ignorant ones are. Kind if wish something like that would happen to Paris Hilton so we do not have see or hear of her any more. But Paris is not as attractive as any female in this film.

Street Kings is better, Taken is entertaining but not on par with the uniqueness and acting of Street Kings. Liam's character should have just told his daughter about the singing opportunity in the beginning. That was a goofy flaw of the film. His daughter was so spoiled it is incredible. Allot of nasty people were killed in this movie, a solid revenge movie. Not a blockbuster like Iron Man. I guess her friend died in the film.