Friday, October 30, 2009

The Invention of Lying

Another movie that is politically correct has entered our lives. Or more like invaded. It is fashionable to bash God, it is celebrated to do so. We are easy targets and no one can prove God exists. Ofcourse we do not need to, just read scripture. It is that simple, but too many so called smart people think they can outsmart conventional religious doctrine. This movie was directed by a pussy and written by a great one. Real courage is going against what is hip and cool. How about make a movie that advocates the belief in God and promote the concept of being holy? Because Hollywood is filled with too many politically correct pussies that just shoot for the status quo.

Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood are directors who rise above this timidity that seems to pervade Hollywood. The Passion of the Christ is an excellent example. That movie should have won a string of Oscars, Jim Caziel included.

This movie was funny and unique in the first 20 minutes. But about 40 minutes in, the root rose up. Then the movie began to attack Christianity for reasons already described. It is politically correct to so and acceptable. The first half was actually quite funny. The last 20 minutes extremely boring. Wow, this movie leaped off the north side of the Grand Canyon.

Ricky Gervais stars as Mark Bellison. He is regular guy in a world that can not lie. They do not know how to lie, they simply express the truth. But this movie goes over the top since in a world that can not lie, this does not mean one just shoots out insults and does not know how to hold anything in. It would mean that when asked something, one can not like. Like in the movie Liar Liar, an excellent Jim Carry movie. But this movie takes it a step further, the characters just state whatever is on their mind. They hold nothing in. This is funny, the outset quite funny. Then the movie went a different and disturbing route. A route that is quite common in comtemporary Hollywood.

Jennifer Garner is another force in this movie. She is Anna McDoogles and is pretty, everyone knows this. She is not hot but she is attractive. In this fantasy world that this movie exists, no one lies and Anna just issues insult after insult on Mark. They went on a blind date and Anna just lays it all out in the first minute. Right when Mark walks into her charming apartment, she says she is masterbating, does not want to hang out with him, she will probably not allow him to kiss her when it is all over, etc. Right then, I would have walked off. Mark just aborbes the epithets. They eat out and when it is all over, she actually kisses him extremely quickly and lets him know it was not a special night. The following day, at work, Mark receives an email from her saying she does not want anything to do with him. He is overweight, has a snub nose, etc.

Mark is miserable. He is about to lose his job and his secretary disrespects and mocks him. Anna is a successful executive, she may be in another league but her treatment of him is cruel and unwarranted. But in this world where lying does not exist, it is the norm.

The movie takes a suddent twist when Mark's mother is withering away in the hospital. He begins a quite diatribe about what happens after one dies. This is apparently a movie without religion, a callous and shallow world. What one sees is all people talk about, physical appearance is everything, character, spirit, goodness, being positive, none of this matters. These are traits no one can see since no one in this mythical world ever takes the time to think about. It is all about income, body shape, and status. This movie does a quality job in displaying a world that is this shallow. But religion is not full of lies, no more than saying one loves their dad or mom but not being able to prove this. In this superficial and trivial world, religion does not matter. So this movie is powerful in this point. In this regard, this movie is actually promoting religion and saying in this sick world, religion could not exist as it does. This world is quite terrible and unlivable from most anyone's standpoint, almost as bad as the world that is depicted in the Terminator after the computer program Skynet has it's way on us.

Obviously this movie is in a fictional world because human beings with their ingenuity and nature of deciept, two real life forces, lying is part of our lives. Adolf Hitler told the big lies in the 1930's regarding the Jews just like Al Gore is spreading his lies now about man made global warming. The lying continues. In this world in this movie, Gore and Hitler would not exist. So in effect, this movie could be quite healthy and pleasant. But no, it is not. I will take the Hitler and Gore's because the humans who believe these types are fools and suckers. In the modern day, they are destroying entire states with their votes and in Hitler's day, they ran roughshod over Europe costing millions of lives. Both are comparable in destruction. Gore has enriched himself on the way and will never have countries wanting to hang him, so perhaps Gore is smarter, but just as selfish. Gore is also a total hypocrite, something Hitler never approaches.

The chunky Jonah Hill is back. He is hilarious again. He plays Frank who is a depressed neighbor of Mark. Frank just wants to committ suicide. In that world, not a bad option.

In the hospital room, when Mark's mother is on her deathbed, Mark begins his rambling nature about life after death. The nurse's and doctor are ensnared in Mark's version on what happens on life after death. But what Mark is saying is actually true despite the movie's sarcasm about religion. I guess these anti-Christian types who created this movie actually believe after we die, nothing happens. They are silly little folks, about as superficial as the world they created.

The word spread about Mark. That he can speak to some enitity or man in the sky. Mark becomes famous, Anna hangs out with him but is not physically attracted to him. This causes a rift between them. Mark's boss, yes, I guess he was able to keep his job because of his world wide fame, is Rob Lowe. Rob is Brad Kessler and dislikes Mark for not any concrete reasons. In this sick world, characteristics such as a sense of humor do not matter much, it is about facial features and income status. Anna's mother practically orders her to marry Brad and can not even stand the fact that she is friends with Mark. In the end, she chooses Mark. But the world still needs alot of help, it is quite an unpleasant place.

The pivotal scene in the second half of the film is when Mark is trying to explain to Anna that it is what inside a person that should hold considerable merit. This occurs on a park bench on a wonderful afternoon. Anna and the rest of humanity, bases everything on artificial and slight reasoning. It is so simple, just to make decisions on someone based on their weight. If that was the case in reality, Jonah Hill would be unemployed rather than a successful actor because he is out of shape. But that is part of his appeal and allure I think. I wonder if any overweight people would even exist in the world these creators concocted. TV shows and movies are just someone telling a story in the most accurate manner. The movie 300 and certainly not the debacle 10000 BC would have never been made in this fantastical world.

So, what is the moral focal point of this movie? Should we lie? Is the world better off with lies? I say, the world is better off without lies and does not need lies to propel itself. People like Bill Clinton are career liars, he helped make lying seem cool. Humanity would be better off with more truth, this does not mean we just walk around insulting everyone. The writers of this movie seem quite unimaginitive in this spotlight. Believing in God is not based on lies, no more than loving a child. The ten commandments are the foundation of healthy societies. To say our laws are not based on those creeds is fatuous and empty headed. One can play these little games with their kids, not with me.

The ending of this movie was boring and most uneventful, the humor all but disappeared after a third of it was over. The movie started off clever, canny, and witty, but could not sustain itself. There were a couple of good songs in the movie but did that not over come the last half hour which was absent of any entertainment. It was Anna just going back and forth over Brad and Mark.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Stepfather

Can we get a background check please? This is a movie about a serial killer who enjoys and relishes eliminated entire families. He drives around the country, searching for a single mother with kids who is eager to delegate some responsibility to someone else. This could be when a woman is most vulnerable and is so happy another man would be willing to help her raise children that are not his.

Dylan Walsh is David Harris who is seemingly a white collar regular man. But he has implemented an entire range of sinister plots. The police can not locate him or pinpoint his movements because he has used cash for years, he does not allow his ID to be compromised and he is exceptional at covering his tracks. When he grows tired of the family, he shoots the family dead in their home since he is a cold blooded killer.

His latest prey is the family of Susan Harding played by the pretty older brunette known as Sela Ward. Susan has two sons and one of them has returned from a military High School and it was not because he wants to become the next Joe Navy. Apparently he has had some discipline problems. It probably stemmed from his parent's tumultuous divorce which is still causing some ripples in the family. Michael Harding, portrayed by Penn Badgley, is this young man who has apparently burned some bridges with his High School and his former swim coach. He was banned from using the pool and the surrounding facilities. David, his looming stepfather, drove over to the school and spoke to the swimming coach on Michael's behalf. This leveling out allowed Michael to swim in the summer which could eventually allow him to rejoin the team.

The main reason I wanted to watch this movie is because the gorgeous Amber Heard is in this film. She is not Jennifer Love Hewitt and never will be but she smokes Kirst Dunst and acts better than Jessica Alba. Amber is Kelly Porter in this film and she is the girlfriend of Michael. David does not approve of the open and carefree relationship of theirs. I am not sure most parents would be happy with them practically making love when they are home as well. I doubt they would be too happy with them groping each other right before dinner in the swimming pool. His mother is happy with it, she is cleary too liberal which is what is putting her family in dangers. All families, with this same line of reasoning.

The father may be a terminator type killer and is, he kills the elderly neighbor across the street who watched America's Most Wanted and sees some resemblance, but he does believe in corporal punishment. Susan, is trying to make dinner but is distracted by the sound of her younger son playing a video game extremely loud. Rather than walk up the stairs and force him to turn down the volume, she chooses to holler from the kitchen, setting a terrible example. Her son would not even hear her scream because the video game was turned up so high. David walks in and squeezes his neck. The son was being inconsiderate and David did not even hit him, he just put some pressure on him. But the youngest son, being coddled his entire life, spoiled, a fool version of a momma's boy wined to his real father and they almost ended up banging heads one evening. Susan was highly agitated and acted like corporate punishment was barbaric. She is the one who had a teenage son who was acting out of control trying to fight the mailman and neighbor's tree. This was not shown but insinuated. This is why he was sent to high school boot camp. David was correct, there is nothing wrong with corporal punishment.

Amber plays Kelly Porter who is trying to live a normal life, applying to college, and preparing for her final High School year. The movie has her in a bikini throughout the movie, which is fine.

Michael does not help around the house much, that is for sure. Two sons and they help out as much as some dust lying around on the dining room table.

David is a sophisticated maniac. Any threat he eliminates. His life is highly stressful though. His previous family he was silently stalking, he was there for a couple of years. This family, he is on pace to have to snuff them out by the end of summer or risk the police being notified. David makes some mistakes with his made up story, he is really sloppy. For instance, during lunch season with Michael, he screws up the name of his supposed dead daughter. I guess he is passed his prime into disgusting career. David is a true sociopath.

The final fight scene is intense. The oldest son is just suspicious for numerous reasons. His real father is not sure about this stepfather, especially after he lied about swimming for the Univ. of Oregon about 20 years prior. One of Susan's friends is suspicious as well especially when David is really reluctant to hand over private information about himself for his job. David kills this woman and eliminates the real father. He hides this body in the basement freezer. Susan is not suspicious this man she just met has a series of closets and doors in the basement with locks on them?

As expected, the oldest son and Michael fight it out. Susan inflicts a serious wound by stabbing him with some glass into his neck. Rather than escape down the stairs and outside, they rejoice like idiots. Typical asinine movie characters. This leads to the Michael and David showdown. Michael is defending his mother and his lovely girlfriend-Kelly. Kelly did not want Michael investigating David at all since she felt that would upset his mother and she would be compelled to send him off to military loser camp/school. Which she may have been right about.

David and Michael end up on the roof, in a rain storm, fighting it out. Michael has him beat but then Hollywood pulls out is bag of tricks, and this trick has been used countless times. It is like a revolving door. David is pushed off the roof, but when Michael looks down over the edge, David grabs him out of no where and pulls him down with him. This same scene has been rescripted so many times, it is as tired General Motors. The woman have called the police. David somehow has the energy and stamina to escape. He just vanishes. I can believe the neighbors not being alerted to this frantic fight since the homes are large and there is a powerful rainstorm ensuing. Michael ends up in a coma which lasted an entire month. The final scene has David working in a home improvement store looking for his next target.

This movie has some pretty good music. The cast is solid. The storyline is creaive, I do not remember anything exactly like this. It does show the vulnerable state of woman and the hazards of getting married too quickly.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Friday, October 23, 2009

Paranormal Activity

This movie is really scary. It rivals Blair Witch Project and cost less-only about $15000. Considering it has reportedly earned a lot more, it has been a steal as an investment. It also forced me to do some research regarding a Ouija board.

This movie is about two people, who are not married but have a healthy relationship and a beautiful home in San Diego. It occurs in Sept./Oct. of 2006. Apparently, Katie played by Katie Featherston has been haunted by a demon since child birth. She tried to pretend it did not occur, or fabricate excuses, but something was following her. Her house as child burned down myteriously, the investigation by the fire department came up empty as to the cause.

Micah Sloat is Micah, her boyfriend. Katie slowly informs Micah that she is hearing things at night and that something is bothering her when she sleeps. So Micah goes and buys a nice digital recorder with a tripod. She is unhappy with this move which just befuddles me. This makes complete sense, it can be used to record what is happening inside their home while they sleep. She thinks it will bother the entity but her reasoning is unfounded.

Apparently Katie's family was not religious or they would have solved this issue years ago. They made the same mistake in the movie The Exorcist, the mother in that movie waited until the demon was entrenched and it was almost impossible to extricate the demon without hurting the girl. Katie's family never consulted a church so I have to question their wisdom and decision making skills.

Katie convinces Micah they need to seek help. They turn to Mark Fredrichs who is The Psychic. He asks her and him some questions but mainly focuses on Katie. She informs him some of the information I have revealed, he informs them this is probably a demon and since he concentrates on ghosts, he can not offer further assistance. He does give them a number of a doctor in LA who can help them. Mark tells them to not try to communicate with the demon, to not use a Ouija board, and that running from the home will not work. He does not inform them to seek a priest or ask them if a priest blessed the house. So, I have to question his judgement as well.

The bizaare happenings at night continue. And they rarely turn on the light. At night, any disturbance, any concern, the lights are coming on. Even the police at the end do not turn on the lights, in a dark home. Lights are better than flashlights. What? Katie grows more hysterical. I had some questions though from the outset. Like, what does she do for a living? Did the demon ever try to harm her when she was in High School? You mean she was never in a locker room alone or a classroom? Is she ever in the home alone, day or night? It seems like they are always in the home at the same time which is not likely. Only once in the movie do they have a friend over. Odd. Only once does she call her father or mother and this is after Micah finds a burned picture of her in the attic. Why is in the attic? Micah is innovative and seems to be a problem solver. He is calculating, he puts powder all over the floor and it works. The demon leaves foot prints which lead up to the attic. He climbs up there, at that moment and find this picture. He shows it to Katie and she begins to tremble, it is a picture from her childhood, the corners are burned, and she has not seen it in about 15 years.

Micah is a loving partner but he does not want to seek help despite his ignorance and her pleas. Strike on him. Katie fights him on the camera despite its daily usefullness. Strike on her. Micah goes out and obtains a Ouija board despite the psychic specifically warning them against this. Micah, for far too long, takes this as a joke and a hobby. Katie never warned Micah about her mysterious past. He has a point there when he brings this up.

There is a scene in the middle of the movie where she gets up out of bed and hesitates and stands adjacent to the bed for about 50 minutes. Then she walks outside, must have sleepwalked and winds up on the swing. Micah wakes up and notices her being absent, frantically looks for her, always carrying the recording camera, and when he checks the back sliding glass door, it is open. It is cool San Diego night and she is sitting down on the swing and is uncooperative. She tells him that she wants to remain out there and returns inside to retreive some blankets. He hears some noises inside and goes upstairs and finds their bedroom TV on. When he walks in there, on full alert, Katie appears right behind him. She gets into bed and for some reason, so does he. Not me, I would demand a full explanation and if I had to poor water on her head, I would do that. The following morning she is shocked by her actions. Her actions can not be logically accounted for.

It is amazing they did not seek help after this. To me, sleepwalking is spooky in its own right. But this has to do with influencing thought and behavior. Nope, I would have to make some severe changes.

The psychic told them that if it gets worse, to contact that demon doctor. Micah resists every time Katie brings it up, they both know the situation is exacerbating. Micah is hardheaded and does not know when to seek help. That is a flaw on his part.

Wow, Katie would whine at different parts, it was annoying. The psychic warned them about fighting, and they did not listen. Both were stubborn at times when they should not have been.

There was a pretty gruesome scene at the end of this movie. Micah would do a lot of research about how to defeat their enemy online. He would also look at the video footage the following day on his lap top to see what or if anything happened that night. About 3/4 the way into this movie, he found only an exorcism video. In this online video, the girl was possessed and bit her own arm off. Why doctors did not strap her down is beyond me. But perhaps this occured at night and they had no idea this would or could occur.

Katie is wanted by this demon. This entity has a crush on her, why, no one knows why or how this occurs. The spirit was pulling her away and managed to shut the door to impede her boyfriend. Clever.

Well, Katie does not listen to Micah when he says they should leave. Would leaving help? No, but it would help him. I would have not remained in that house if I was him. She was a threat, she had already proved to be apt to be manipulated by this demon. Ofcourse I would have sought a priest at the first moment and had the home blessed upon moving in.

This movie is frustrating because they never consulted a priest. Who are these people? Even in liberal SoCal that would be a logical choice or transition. Their neighbors are never shown. For this movie's small budget, this movie is horrifying. It does the trick, it delivers. Katie and Micah are solid performers. I was convinced of their plight. Ofcourse I would have been praying and employing a priest. Not one loved one ever visited them. Micah thought he was commando, but this type of threat can not be handled by an unbeliever. Both of them made decisions which lead to their doom.

I allocate this movie four stars.****

Thursday, October 22, 2009


This is a movie where the characters just make mistake after mistake. Very little team work, it is amazing they have made it this far. They seem to have rules just to break, to the risk and detriment to their own lives and safety.

The movie begins with some friends headed to the beach for some surfing. But they are not really headed to the beach to have fun, they are headed there since they know a hotel that is isolated which could offer them a barrier between them and the infection. The two brothers used to be taken here by their parents for family vacations.

This movie is another virus movie, with humanity on the brink. How many of these have they made? About as many assassin movies and Drew Berrymore love stories.

Star Trek's Chris Pine returns as the tough guy in the film. Brian is his name and he has a miniture brother names Danny played by Lou Taylor Pucci. Brian plays the typical hard ass but he seems to be the only one who can make the tough decision. His wimpy brother undermines him the entire movie and does not even have the decency to respect him when the times are tough.

There first encounter in the movie, that we see, is with a man and his daughter. They drive around the large GMC SUV but in doing so they damage their oil pan. The father wants some of their gas but they notice the daughter is infected when she looks out of the window. Danny did not see it but Bobby does. Bobby is played by Piper Perabo from Coyote Ugly. Piper is pretty but is not as applealing as she used to be. Perhaps she is but the competition has increased and is more readily found. New young talent over shadows her or could have been given a chance like J-Ray or Natalina Maggio. Casting is very important, but Piper is a better choice than Kirsten Dunst for sure.

The average looking Emily VanCamp is the fourth musketeer in this movie. She is Kate and her relationship with Danny is to be determined. Kate notices the sick daughter in the SUV which is purposely blocking the rode. She urges them and Brian to ditch them. The Father which is approaching their car is carrying a crow bar and attempts to break into their car as they speed away. Why he did not fill up his tank and have extra gas in that large SUV is beyond me. But this father is Law and Order SVU's own
Christopher Meloni. He is Frank.

Frank and his daughter come back into the picture when the group's car runs out of oil about a mile down the road. They argue about their choices but Brian and most of them, but his brother, knows they must return and take that SUV. They figure the daughter is already dead and the father is infected as well.

As they walk back up the road to Frank's stationary SUV, Brian retains his hand gun which he has been carrying. The standoff ensues, Frank not wanting to give up his SUV. Frank is hollering that he has heard on some frequency about a lab in a town along way up the road has found a serum. This serum can defeat the disease. Danny's idea is too put the father and daughter in the rear, taping a plastic shield between them and the backseat. This seems to be the winning idea. Strike one up for Danny but his future bonehead moves bash this bright idea down on its head.

They reach the town and lab appears to be in a High School. There is a doctor there working, researching something with dead bodies with lights on them spread out around the cafeteria's floor. The doctor has his makeshift labaratory set up towards the end of the cafeteria, encased in plastic. Frank starts asking him questions. But the doctor seems to be on another agenda. He has three children in the plastic with him and he is pooring juice from a Gatorade container. But the liquid is not juice. The doctor informs Frank it is potassium in the liquid. I am not sure the scientific merits or basis behind this. But it appears ominous. Frank asks for Brian's gun. Brian dictates to Frank that there is not a cure. He is right. But Danny grabs the gun from Brian, coming from behind and hands it to Frank. Frank puts the doctor at gunpoint and orders the doctor to stand down. The doctor is already visibily infected. Frank is explained by the doctor that his actions are futile. There is not any cure, the generator will soon run out of power-fuel,these children are already infected, and the best course of action is to quickly end this brutal nightmare.

Frank is perplexed and ruined. He places the gun down before he walks out. Danny, Kate and Brian leave. In the SUV, Bobby has elected to remain behind and keep the small girl company. This is going fine when the girl is hit with complications. Bobby does the stupid thing and rips down the plastic. Then she does the biggest bonehead move in the movie and tries to comfort the child. The child coughs up blood on her, some must have gone into her mouth or eyes. It had to be a puny amount, most went on her sweat shirt which she did her best to keep the others from noticing. She quickly tapes up the plastic shield. Bobby did not even notice, nor did I, a trace amount which entered into her system. But she did not even wipe herself down after this incident since she did not want the returning others to become curious. So she puts them all at risk. She is completely selfish. Perhaps she could have saved herself if she quickly wiped her face down and hands.

Frank and the daughter are left behind despite the wimpy Danny's protests. They got them there and that was the deal explained Brian. What does Danny want them to do, haul them in the rear to their getaway spot, an infected girl? He is a fool. He may have been accepted into Yale but this proves he is only booksmart.

They stop at a fancy desert resort. Kind of like the Marriot I stayed at in North Phoenix, in the desert ofcourse. They play some golf, Brian acts moronic and wrecks a golf cart. Every place they stop at is a potential hazard. At night, the two girls are walking around the place and are caught by armed men in bio hazard suits. They order the girls to strip down and this is where they notice Piper is infected. The men order them to leave, they comply. Piper had a large purple spot under her lower left breast.

Several hours goes by, after sunrise, Brian pulls over and orders Bobby to get out of the car. Bobby pleads to remain, even to get in the back. This is after she has already kissed Brian and allowed him to hug her. She basically murdered her boyfriend for not informing him and the group what happened when she was in the SUV alone with the child. Kate does not stick up for her but the punk Danny may have said something.

They have another road encounter when Brian is shot but kills both older woman for their gas. He asked nicely at first. Why people can not get along is testiment to how destructive human beings are. But is this accurate? They stop at home and now Danny is forced to the man. He goes in that dark and beat up home, has to shoot a german shephard who is eating the owner in his bed, but does succeed in grabbing some medicine for his brother. While patching him up on his leg, he notices Brian is infected as well. Later that night, after they built a fire, Danny does the punk thing and tries to sneak out with Emily. Leaving his brother to die a miserable death in the desert. He does not even have the decency to discuss their options and convince Brian he can no longer come with them. Brian would not give up the car keys, which is dumb and selfish, so he forces his brother to shoot him for them. Pathetic and terrible.

Emily and her book smart boyfriend reach the beach house to begin a life.

OK, lets rehash this a little. Why Brian, Bobby and the two others do not have more ammunition is beyond me. Especially since humanity has ran into another dark age. Morality seems to be relevent at best. I would have a bullet proof vest, more food and water, they seem to have barely enough clothes. All this stuff would have been simple to obtain as the cities and town's died out. They did have sufficient disenfectant and basic masks. I will credit them this.

This movie is not a full length movie, devoid of music, shows little talent for humor, as I explained before, had some casting miscues. Where is Jennifer Love Hewitt? Certainly this movie is not unique. I do like Pine and Meloni though in this film. This movie is not quite full length either, about 76 minutes.

I allocate this film 2 stars.**

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Law Abiding Citizen

Well, if one has any issues with the justice department, this could be the movie for you. The justice system has some issues but I am not sure blowing people was the answer. I could understand going after the defendant, perhaps his lawyer, but killing anyone else is wrong and evil. Nevertheless, this was a clever movie and it does cause one to reflect. Can we do better? Perhaps John Grishman would like to chime in. He has made a career off law centered stories, I am reading The Partner right now. This movie takes his typical storyline a bit further. This movie does not revolve around the justice system, the justice system is in the crosshairs.

Jamie Foxx has returned but he is not the high flying, exciting, larger than life individual we know him to be. He has brought back his humble, Collateral, taxi driver character. Here is a prosecutor called Nick Rice before he becomes the district attorney. But this happens sooner than it normally would because of Clyde Shelton. Clyde is played by the stellar Gerard Butler.

The movie opens glamorizing the happy family life that Clyde has. This ends dramatically when he is answers the door without checking who it is. He is met with a baseball bat to the head, and he soon watches as two robbers and killers eliminate his daughter and wife. This is alluded to, it is not really shown. Which is fine. One the culprits seems to have been duped into this heist. The leader, is true scum and it is his idea alone to committ murder to the 2nd power. The younger kid is given the death penalty but the homicidal maniac who is really the threat to society cuts a deal and is only sentenced to a few years in prison.

Ten years passes. Now Nick has a daughter of similar age along with his lovely wife who we were introduced too in the outset of the movie.

Christian Stolte plays the sinister Clarence Darby who I have already described. Darby is sitting in his apartment when he is maniupulated by Clyde. Clyde calls the police on him but then warns Darby by calling his phone while using a device to alter his voice. He gets Darby to kidnap an unsuspecting police officer who is Clyde in disguise. Genius. Now Darby is out of sight and mind while Clyde removes his police costume. Darby has a weapon but that weapon is harmless. It must have been the night before, Clyde somehow snuck into Darby's home and smeared a poisonous fish's juices on the hand grip of the Darby's hand gun. Out in the field, adjacent to an industrial wearhouse that Clyde own's. This is where Clyde goes to work. Darby is alive and has feelings but that is it. His muscles have been incapacitated because the poison and inside the wearhouse Darby is strapped down onto some sort of chair. This is well thought out, Clyde films it but he is covered up so there is not any actual proof that he committed this crime. I would say heinous and sick crime but Darby did kill off the females that Clyde loved. So, Darby will not be missed by anyone that matters.

Clyde, a few hours later, perhaps the next day, turns himself in by calling the police and informing them where he is located. Why he strips down is beyond me. Nick is a high flyer in Philadelphia circles and is the manager in the District Attorney's (DA) office. His ambition is anything but transparent. Career actor, all the way from the cool action movie The Last Boyscout is Bruce McGill who plays Jonas Cantrell. He is the DA but Clyde seems to be the motivator and true leader in the office. Jonas does have some contacts and pulls some strings which result in a revelation on who Clyde is. Clyde is a tinkerer, he has several patents on some of the applications he has designed. This movie did not explain really why Darby could not be prosecuted for first degree murder and they do the same thing here. Jonas and Nick, with Jonas at the helm, escape the office and meet a clandestine fellow. He could work in some Pentagon think tank or perhaps the CIA. I am not sure. He does seem to want to hide his indentification and his current whereabouts. This clandestine fellow tells Nick and Jonas that Clyde is a genious, he can kill people without being near them, he can manipulate machines and devices with pure deftness. His problem solving skills seem akin to Prison Break's Scofield.

Clyde goes onto kill the liberal judge after he already insulted her in her presence. That latter scene was humorous. Clyde attacked her for being a sucker, soft hearted liberal who is too quick to prone to releasing dangerous creatures. But he wants to return to prison and he kills his cellmate. This is after he has the prison bring him a steak and full scrumptious dinner. The prisoners are in hysterics inside their cells since it seems one prisoner is receiving lavish treatment.

Clyde wanted to be sent to solitary confinement since in the ten years he had to plan this devious scheme, he dug a full size tunnel which storms right underneath the cells in solitary confinement. The tunnel leads to an industrial wherehouse that he bought after he liquidated his holdings and savings. His holdings from a company he owned that represented the products he invented.

The only cute face in this movie that I think of is Leslie Bibb. Bibb is cute but she is not a J-Ray. There was too many men in this movie. This movie could have easily kept its intensity and plotline intact with a stunning figure such as J-Ray.

She is a laywer named Sarah Lowell who ends up working for Clyde after he replaces his former jealous manager. Clyde all but told him he would take his spot, it was only a matter of time. This was in the beginning. Leslie, along with several other prosecutors are blown up by car bombs in the parking lot of their office. Jonas is killed as these people leave the funeral of these prosecutors. Who is doing this? Does Clyde have help? Well I already told you Clyde can go and come from his solitary confinement as he pleases. He has an escape route underneath any confinement space. Nick and Detective Dunnigan played by Colm Meaney from Con Air locate this route. It is an illegal search but by this point, red tape needs to be cut through.

Clyde has either bought or built a robitic weapon. I saw this on Future Weapons on Discovery Channel about 2 years ago. This robot is on tracks, about 3 feet square, has multiple sets of cameras mounted on it and in this case, it has a 50' caliber firing system and a grenade launcher. Clyde attacks the SUV that Jonas is in and destroys it.

At this point, the mayor calls in Homeland Security, the FBI, and perhaps the military. Another name for martial law is declared. Philadelphia is in a steel pinch. Clyde has already told Nick he is going to destroy the system. He is upset that Nick would not prosecute Darby. Atleast try, if they lost they lost. Do their best. Nick told Clyde they would lose the case because of insufficient proof. This was ofcourse ten years ago

When Jonas and Nick met with this shadowy figure one evening, he told them the only chance they have at ending this nightmare is to walk into Clyde's lonely cell and put a bullet into his head. Well, before Clyde was about to blow up the meeting with the mayor, Homeland Security, etc., Nick did the only rationable thing. Before he was about to resign after Jonas was taken out at the cemetary, he became acting DA. His hand placed on the bible as he tool the oath in front of the mayor. Nick takes the law into his own hands, with the help of Dunnigan I believe, Nick confronts Clyde inside his cell. Clyde knows his escape route has been compromised. He is also startled, which is a first. Nick knows what Clyde has been doing and how he has been running back and forth, shaking the system up literally. Nick walks away after he lights the cell on fire. Nick accepts his ending, knowing he did make his mark. He may not have changed anything, but unlike Timothy McVeigh, atleast Clyde's feelings were understood. His pain was reasonable. The source known.

This movie has some steller scenes. Its point is made. The mainstream media does not like this film since they attack liberal judges. I loved it. It is about time. This stuff has been going on for sometime. Clyde lost his family when he had his guard down, his guard was never down after that. Our justice system is flawed but still one of the best in the world. Regardless, improvements could be made.

I allocate this movie four stars.****

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Couples Retreat

Is this the ultimate couple's movie? No, but it was funny and is worth seeing. It is not Wedding Crashers or Meet the Parents, to clarify expectation but it the best comedy perhaps since The Hangover. Vince Vaughn is back and that is cool. He is charismatic and his word delivery is quite unique. He plays Dave and seems to be the leader of his clique.

The clique consists of Jason Bateman-Jason; Jon Favreau-Joey; and Faizon Love who plays Shane. They are sort of foiled into going on this vaction by Jason and Kristen Bell who plays his wife Cynthia. Their marriage is on the brink of a divorce so they want to try to solve their can not have a baby issues with one final shebang. Jason finds an exotic island that specialized in couple strengthening.

Dave and his gorgeous wife Ronnie played by Malin Akerman are reluctant. They have two children but then agree since they have never had a real honeymoon before.

Shane is also experience a divorce and is currently dating a girl half his size who soon runs circles around him on this island. He is apparently broke, goes into debt after purchasing a motorcycle he cannot afford but the movie skips over this detail. This makes little sense and aspects such of this chip away from this movie.

On this island, they stay in individual huts with part of the floor see through glass so they can see live fish underneath them, they eat for free and the food is amazing, and the entire scenery is gorgeous. The kick is, they have a thick and time consuming itinerary which forces them to discuss their issues with a marriage counselor even when they do not want. Jason and Cynthia are all for this. But Dave and Ronnie do not feel they need to attend. But everyone but Jason and Cynthia realize they have to do things they do not want to do but they do not want to break up the team since this is a package deal and they know Jason and Cynthia are begging for everyone to stick to this powerful regimen.

Upon arriving on this island, Joey meets four gorgeous young ladies who are on the east side of the island. It is separated by about 500 feet of ocean sea water. It can be navigated though with canoes ofcourse or by a competent swimmer. The east side of the island is for single folks. It seems to be one lengthy party. Security is not shown but it must be heavy. With all that free booze, I am sure alot of paperwork is signed by any customer who signs up for this loose vacation.

Jean Reno is the couple whisperer. That is an impressive idea. He plays Marcel and he performs well for mainly being in action movies such as Ronin, Mission Impossible and The Professional. The greatest scene is a yoga scene with Carlos Ponce who plays Salvadore. He is leading the yoga session in a speedo and he is mounting the everyone of them and gyrating himself. He positions himself all over these people, it is hysterical.

Vaughn's best scene can not be pinpointed. His conversation skills are on display here again. Whenever he is communicating with his friends, he just funny. His facial expressions are priceless. His character in this movie are attacked because he supposedly manipulates Ronnie so much and seems to get everything to go his way. He is charismatic, he is amusing, it probably helps he is not a small person, this is his likable personality. These traits were exhibited in the movie The Break. His wit and charm devasted Jennifer Aniston. He then duplicated this with Four Christmas where he manhandled Reese Witherspoon with his cordial manner and shrewd reasoning as well. Now Malin Akerman had the best shot in this movie in matching him, not because of her personality but because of her shape and appearance. She is cute at any point, she is completely stunning. She does not have the fake tan and is more attractive than Aniston. And Reese Witherspoon has not been gorgeous in anything in over ten years.

This movie ends with seemingly every relationship about to blow up. But with some turbulence that is induced by Shane's young girlfriend, the couples come back together in a way that only could occur with the help of some Hollywood script writers. Shane is broke but his wife comes back into his life. What she is doing on the Eden east, this resort is called Eden, is beyond me, but she is here and has been there for about 5 days. What? She is like 40 and not that attractive, this is pure fantasy. It is a about a 6 day vacation retreat. Meanwhile, Shane and Ronnie's children are being babysitted by their grandfather. Anyway, Jason and Cynthia make passionate love after spending about 2 hours away from each other. Something had to shake.

Joey punches the pretty boy Salvadore for dancing and trying to woo and charm his wife Lucy played by Kristin Davis. Then he and Lucy have a romantic embrace which was long past due. Jon seems to tag along with Vince, always appearing in his movies. His role this time is extensive and he holds his own. Besides Vince though, Shane is the funniest. Shane has some funny facial gestures of his own.

Alyssa Julya Smith is probably the most fascinating female in the entire picture. She should have had the role of Kristen Bell. But the casting director did us right with Akerman, she is a winner.

This movie had alot of beauty, but alot of loose ends which was not tied back together. I mean, did Dave really co-sign Shane's motorcycle without informing his wife? Shane did not have any money, absurd. Yes, Dave's child urinating in the furniture store's toilet, pretty cute. But Dave should have left a tip or cleaned it up himself. But this movie did have an extensive list of funny people.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Tournament

This a slick action movie with a stellar cast. It was not lengthy and it was not completely original. They borrowed the idea from the Cuba Gooding Jr. comedy that took place around the center of the US called Rat Race. Seth Green was in this movie as well and everyone, certainly Cuba acting pretty bizaare. This was a race to win some cash, The Tournament was not a race but a movie where assassins compete like suckers while ethically challenged underground mobsters gamble on who is the greatest assassin. The gamblers in Rat Race were possibly addicted to gambling but they were not celebrating in people killing each other. Massive difference. They were delightful sorts, the big players funding The Tournament were morally bankrupt.

The organizer in Rat Race followed the goofy contestants with driving and flying cameras. Honestly, I do not remember that exactly. In The Tournament, the organizers had hackers who used the CCTV cameras in London to follow the movemements of the 30 assassins who volunteered for this mission or competition. Technology has changed in 10 years.

This movie also uses assassins as its cornerstone, how many assassin movies have we seen now? It is almost like Drew Berrymore love stories.

Ving Rhames is Joshua Harlow who has won this tournament 7 years prior. Why assassins would risk losing their lives for these type of odds is ridiculous. I do not believe one winner in 30, even with a $10 million purse, so? 1/30, the math does not work out. All others die and if the killing is not over within 24 hours, the organizers have the power to detonate the assassin because their is a miniture bomb inside them. Liam Cunningham is Powers and he is the creator of this lucrative gamble. How the gambling details are worked out, it is not explained well. There is a bunch of money in many currencies scattered around this massive glass table. It seems like mobsters from every corner of the globe are in attendance.

Harlow is a killer but the writing team gives him some heart and passion. Kelly Hu carries this movie. She is gorgeous, I do not grow tired of looking at her. She plays Lai Lai Zhen who has been hitting for the Triads for several years. She is one of the favorites. Hu was stunning in Xmen II and nothing has changed. She makes Kirsten Dunst look like a homely ACLU supporter.

Zhen and Harlow are portrayed as the good folks, the so called heroes. Zhen has just killed Harlow's wife which adds some intensity to the film. She was hired by Powers since Powers wanted to motivate Harlow. He felt Harlow would have declined The Tournament if he did not have an incentive. I am sure he would have. When Powers is killed at the end, that is satisfying. Albeit his bodyguards would have not taken 10 minutes to prevent Powers from being harmed in reality but whatever.

Lost's former star Ian Somerhalder is in this movie. That is refreshing where did he go after being killed in that airplane? Miles Slater is his name in this movie and he plays a psychotic Texan just shooting everyone. He kills a dog, gorgeous females, without the police ever arriving. I guess the hackers prohibited any emergency calls from reaching the authorities. Slater is so sloppy, I have no idea how he would ever get a clean getaway in any hit.

There is a priest in this movie. This movie does toss a little respect towards the Catholic church. Which will piss off Bill Maher and the 10% of people who just pretend God does not exist. It is fashionable and politically correct to attack Christianity since they know we have morals, we will not get as vicious as them. There is not any reason for that. The enemy does not have any boundaries. They are amusing though.

28 Weeks Later's Robert Carlyle is Joseph or Father Macavoy. He has a severe drinking problem but that is not that uncommon for a man of the cloth. Powers thought Father Macavoy was going to kill for the sake of the Tournament because he drank a tracking and the detonator which was in a cup of coffee. Sebastien Foucan, whose character's name I am not sure of, has brought his running and athletic ability from Casino Royale to this movie. It is incredible watching this guy jump around, I would like to see his time in the 40 yard dash/sprint.

He does something that I do not understand why everyone of the assassins does not do. He digs out the tracking beacon out of his rib/stomach area and tosses it into some coffee in a coffee shop. The Father inadvertently drinks that ruins his day. in the long run, it helps him realize he needs to be a better priest, control his drinking, and meeting the gorgeous Zhen helps as well. He may have converted her and although he can not date her, she is still special to him. It seems he needs someone on Earth, God speaks through her. She does to a strange confession in this bathroom scene, it is pure entertainment but the movie is touching in some respects. This movie is far superior than the assassin movie by Nicolas Cage called Bangkok Dangerous.

Wolverine's Scott Adkins is a lethal Russian assassin called Yuri Petrov. I wanted to see him fight Foucan but this did not happen. I love the casting of Kelly Hu in this movie, she is magnificent. The movie was not that long and the musical score was paltry. Nevertheless, if you like action movies, this is for you.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Stan Helsing

Leslie Nielsen and Kenan Thompson are the main stars in this horrendous spoof. It was not even a real spoof. A spoof dedicates about 15 minutes of their screen time to tear into another movie and poke fun of it. The spoof borrows some of the same music and background so it is totally conspicuous and black and white on what movie is being targeted. This movie had characters from other movies but it was so ridiculous it can not be deemed an adequate spoof.

Nielson did not have a major part in this movie, he must have had some free time or he was so bored in retirement he agreed to take on a role. Nielson could have been looking for some food money for a month, I am not sure. It is a tough economy, there could be other reasons.

I have always thought Thompson was funny. Since I can not watch Saturday Night Live, or do not really want to, it is good to see him here. Even if he is walking around in a ridiculour superman costume with his belongings in his crotch.

The cockroach scene at the outset sets the tone for the rest of the movie, and the tone is woeful. The tone is step away. But Diora Baird is worth looking at for a short while. How Kirsten Dunst obtains roles in block busters, or even Gwyneth Paltrow for that matter with Diora sitting on the sidelines is a Hollywood travesty and mystery.

This movie is so deplorable I am not going to mention character names. The movie is half way watchable for a guy because of Diora Baird is stunning. She appears to be a different person in outside of this film, though still beautiful, but her image in this movie is spectacular. The plot is simple. Four people, including Baird and Thompson get lost on Holloween and for some reason have Hellraiser, Jason, Freddy, Michael, and The Exorcist chasing them. The movie is just distressing. I mean, Nielson plays a female waitress. Are you kidding me?

Certainly I do recommend this movie. Any female would not put up 5 minutes into this movie. Most males could last about 10. If I was not a fan of movies, I would not have watched this so called spoof. There is not a chance in any minute originating from the Big Bang I would recommend this movie.

This movie mainly had the action adventure Van Helsing in its crosshairs with Hugh Jackman and the stunning Kate Beckinsale. This movie was nothing to write home about either, the bridge in this movie was something from the 5th dimension. Hugh Jackman's werewolf and the vampire at the end were just monstrosities. Not a good movie. The town being attacked in this movie had all sorts of healthy men but they just sat around being attacked at will by some flying creatures? The flying creatures were stunningly beautiful. Whatever. But this movie's main character was Stan Helsing, all the weirdos of the movie thought he was supposed to be the real Van Helsing. The famous monster hunter. Accept these are not really monsters, but whatever, it is a stupid fantasy. Van Helsing is not even real, he is a product of someone's imagination. The real monsters are Hugo Chavez, Sean Penn, Rosie O' Donnell, Bill Maher, etc. Where is someone to slay them-the real monsters?

I allocate this movie 0 stars.

Friday, October 9, 2009


This is the male's love story. Hollywood continues to pump out these same type of underground fight movies: Fighting, Never Back Down, Blood and Bone. This time it is Steve Austin's time to tear it up. Each time, the main character gets bigger, physically. Blood and Bone's Michael Jai White showed the most skills and that final fight scene was impressive. The final fight in Fighting, that motivational speech before the climax was what I remember most, that was a cool shout out on top of the building. The problem with Fighting is the dialogue in between the fight scenes was horrendous. Notably the exchanges between Channing Tatum and a girl he likes.

Austin is John Brickner in this movie. He killed a man in self defense and served his time, but he is released on good recognizance. One of the reasons he is released is because the wife of the man he killed wrote on his behalf. But when he is released she wants something in return. She does not have any health insurance, and her daughter needs a new heart. The mother is a loser but after John sees her daughter he agrees to do what he can to save her life.

The unheard of Laura Vandervoort is the female fetale in this movie. She plays Frankie and she can light up any screen. How Kirsten Dunst obtains roles and Laura does not is a true Hollywood conspiracy theory.

Walton Goggins is in this show. He was in the best show, one of the best police dramas I have ever seen called The Shield. Incredible show, bad series ending but every episode was packed with incredible characters and situations. I miss it. Reno is the name of Walton's character in this movie. He is one of the premier Seattle's underground managers. But he is still scrapping by and owes some mobsters some serious coin. Every character in this movie has a debt to pay, don't we all.

John cracks heads in all sorts of fighting venues. The writers displayed some serious imagination in this aspect, perhaps they are also fight video game writers or borrowed some ideas from Activision or Electronic Arts, either way, that was cool. Gladiator had Tigers, this movie had dogs. The only thing that has changed as the crowds have shrunk for this type of sporting activity. I guess modern society has more humane sports to cheer about, perhaps so, but this gambling attraction will not ever dissipate.

Reno could have had an easier time of John did not have any morals. But he chose not beat a fighter to death, so this constituted a forfit. His opponent would have killed him and laughed about it in the end. Serious stakes. John is a good man. John did not know Reno owed money, but John did know that he needed some serious cash to help pay for the heart transplant. Trade a punk's life for a sweet little girl, I think that is a fair trade. Reno's life was hanging by the threads as well. But Reno kept this close to home, John was ignorant of the route of this stagecoach.

John did not have a car but in a few scenes he still got around. Oh well, they also did not ever show him lift any weights. But he was working in construction until his screwball manager fired him. Then he saves his life by giving him CPR as he has a self induced heart attack. I say self induced since this prick foreman just created drama for himself. The only reason he was a foreman any how is because his powerful brother dropped him into that position.

This movie does have a happy ending. There is alot of blood and violent scenes. The fighters in this movie punch sideways, not straight into their target. Interesting. For a lower budget film though, this was half way done. This movie was routine though, not much originality.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

The Rebound

Catherine Zeta-Jones has really falling off. I guess she does not need the money so she makes this just to show her superstar husband Michael Douglass she does not completely rely on him. She may have done this movie pro bono. This salary would help her get through the weekend.

She plays Sandy who finds a video on her home computer that proves her husband is unabashedly unfaithful. Why they have a video recording in their home is beyond me but whatever. Perhaps she set it there because of her suspicions. Regardless, this movie has been made about 200 times now.

I know why Justin Bartha took this role. One love scene with Jones and he may have volunteered for this as well. He can do pro bono as well. I am sure his friends were OK with that.
He plays Aram Finklestein who has not started a normal full time job yet but does have a college degree. He is probably saddled with $60,000 in college debt but this is not mentioned. Sandy has money from her previous divorce. She seems to have money since she still attends yoga and does not seem to spend too much time thinking about her new status. There does not appear to be one, her husband is smacked with two hefty child support payments. But this is not discussed in the movie. Like Zellweger's role in My One and Only, I guess she needs a man as well. Not much has changed. I wonder what feminists think about this? Well, Zellweger's Anne Deveraux does, in the end, pursue the single route after she becomes more down to earth and practical. Her mind had been in the stratosphere and had to be knocked down with a ball peen hammer.

Sandy finds a job as a writer in a newspaper and it seems she is writing about sports which to me, just to walk in and be given a column in the age the newspaper readership decline, is totally fictional. It is just not that easy. But she is a hard worker and apparently has the right mindset for this occupation.

Sandy and Aram meet since he ends up baby sitting her children. Sandy goes on a few dates with some white collar types she is not interested in. Her friend is setting her up with people she would be interested in. Sandy sees the kindness in Aram's eyes one day and she leans towards him. Aram is interested in her despite not having a sound footing yet, I guess he does not want to have some free time in his mid 20's. The movie does challenge him on this account, not very many 24 year olds would even consider taking over a family. If they were successful or not, this would not matter, even if the mother was stunningly attractive which Sandy is. Sandy comes with some baggage, Aram still lives with his folks. This is a massive reach but it is Hollywood, land of the imaginational stretch.

But the movie comes back to reality after Sandy gets pregnant-which happens after their first encounter. She is content with having a child but after a visit with the doctor, she has a collision course with what is about to happen. She realizes that starting a semi family with someone so young, unpolished, and unproven may not be the best course of action. Aram thinks he is ready but her mind is set. Aram is forced to locate another route. Probably for the best.

Aram does travel around the world but returns to land on his feet. Aram adopts a child from Bangladesh. Aram has some attractive offers from pretty, professional, females his age but for some reason he does not even give them a chance. Whatever. One evening, with his parents, hard to believe, while they are out to eat, they run into Sandy. This is about 6 years later. His parents are ecstatic. Aram is secretly elated. Sandy agrees to combine tables and her interest grows. What a fine ending.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My One and Only

The ghostly Renée Zellweger has chosen to brace us with her presence again. How would we get through the week if it was not for this. Besides her, this movie had a strong cast. Even Nick Stahl obtained a part in this 1950's movie. He should have never been John Connor in Terminator III, that was a huge mistake, as well as that movie's script, but he stands tall in this movie. His part was designed for him as a blue collar type, a hands on man.

Anne Deveraux is Renee's character and she is married to Dan Devereaux played by Kevin Bacon. Bacon needs the work, as we all do, but he was one of the victims of Bernie Madoff (he should be executed) so he does have to restack his war chest. Dan is unfaithful and Anne has had enough. She yanks both her sons out of school, depletes a safety deposit box, and takes off. She does not know how to drive a car well, her sons do not have a license, and one refuses to drive for whatever reason. The real reason is he useless and gay. But he knows fashion and colors. Mark Rendall plays George Hamilton, who is the step brother of George Devereaux.

Dan is the real father of Logan Lerman's character named George. This is not a normal 1950's family, this seems to a typical 21st century type situation. Dan is a successful song writer and entertainer, this one song is practically bank rolling him, he is writing this way all the way too the beach. His apartment is lifestyle is upper middle class but this does not stop Anne from leaving him after his blatant infidelities. Anne and the boys leave for Boston. This is after Anne informs George that the real view mirror is useless and she was not sure why the manufacturer even installs them. I was hoping after that dangerous and amazing advice they would get hit from the rear right when he pulled out into traffic. For some reason, they make it to Boston without being a road hazard or causing a huge accident.

Anne's entire aim is to meet a man that would instantly hall them all in. And she hit a homerun in Boston after a setback, so she went 1 for 2. Not bad, but the contract is not signed. Chris Noth, who plays in just another detective show on television, is Dr. Harlan Williams who is a die hard military man who still wears his gleaming uniforms around despite it being a little innappropriate at times. This falls apart though when he gives her $500 to shop for a wedding dress and items for the wedding. Remember, this is early 1950's. But her gay and stupid son urges her to spend the money on handicapped children. And she obliges. They have been living an indulgent lifestyle for some time now. When they return, Williams is irate, which is normal. The movie is strange here and acts like he should not be upset. This must have been written by a goofy female, no person in their right mind would not expect someone to be upset at this. Williams demands Anne to return the pearl necklace back to him so he can exchange this necklace for some money. She did not deplete him but he wants some financial payback. Anne refuses. Williams chases after her and George, her normal son, jumps on his back. Williams tosses him aside and Anne screams at him for laying his hands on him. What? Anne tosses the shredded necklace at Williams and they are off.

The reason Anne took off north after leaving the heart of New York City is because she had an old boyfriend there. They went out to eat and this guy starts trembling. He informs her his business if being crushed. He owes alot of money and demands she give him some. This guy is desperate and irrational. Why he thought she had $50,000 lying around is nonsensical. He is raising his voice in the place which is embarrasing to her. But then she does something only a true fool would do. She takes off to the bathroom and leaves her purse. She returns and this fool stole the contents, he probably made off with about a few thousand dollars. Whatever.

Pittsburg is next. They are here for about a month and Anne begins to feel the money pinch. This place is not plush, this in a working class neighborhood. Everywhere they go, the kids enroll in school and do their best to cope with the environment.

Anne knows another man she had a fling with and she hopes her mad scrambles can end here. This is where the renegade family meets Bud played by Nick Stahl. Bud did not have a large revenue stream but his character surges with loyalty and stability. He has a practical sense but this spoiled dame does not give him a chance. Bud is the person she calls when she is arrested for solicitation. When she was told her options by the under cover detective at the bar, she should have told him to call the room number of the man she was there too see. Who cares if he was having a party, he invited her.

George sees his father Dan here. He realizes his mother was correct, that his father is not a role model and is too self absorbed to be taken seriously.

OK, now they are truly headed west into St. Louis. Anne has a sister there. Both kids start school and Anne gets fired as a waitress. She applies to a paint company as a sales woman and with her skill in colors, she brings in business that would normally never have walked in on such a large scale. This is what I do not understand, they just take off from here. She was tearing up the business. The fictional store manager is David Koechner who plays Bill Massey. Bill turns out to have a wife but he forgets this and woos other woman. Why she just lets him him wander all around is strange. The family is rich and pays Anne probably about $5000 for her setback-psychologically. Why this business is content with such a skilled employee who is driving business into new territority is just mindboggling.

George remains after a serious fued with his mother. His step brother is enchanted with their Hollywood pursuit. George is happy with the school he is at and realizes his mother is also vain. She does not show the care that a child expects. This is what is really bizaare, they have been driving for two days but George catches up with them without stalling their trip for more than 2 minutes. Hmm... Anne proves again she is brain dead when she is robbed by a young woman they agree to give a ride too. Anne leaves her cash in her convertible like a moron.

Anne and George set up shop in Hollywood. George proves he is too feminine to play a cowboy but he is adept as a costume director. The straight George impresses the movie executives when he was trying motivate his brother that they gave him a shot in their picture. I guess it all worked out.

Hollywood must have not learned from their 10000 BC debacle of a year in a half ago-the pyramids were not built by slaves. This movie said that twice at the end. The pyramids were built by the farming class in between growing seasons. Someone needs to send Hollywood a history book not influenced by Rosie O' Donnel.

Dan catches up to them but whether or not he says anything to the boys, he is not sure. The feminine George is not his real son, but Dan pleads with Anne to return with him to New York City. She respectfully declines. He bows out. Approximately 1 week later, Anne receives a terrible call informing her that Dan just had a mortal heart attack. George is devastated, he just lost his father. But he returns to New York City to finish High School since he was offered a scholarship for his writing and artistic talent. Both brothers have tremendous jobs for being so young. Not a bad deal for them.

This movie was worth while. It was well written and had alot of touching characters. Its casting ensemble was impressive. Besides the unnappealing and bright haired Zellweger, this movie did not have a flaw. Her character persevered but had several brain farts and Logan took off with it. I did not like the pyramid slave information poorly told nor the idea that someone should not be upset when someone is careless with so much money. I will have deduct points for this.

I allocate this film three stars, though it easily could have been four.***

Monday, October 5, 2009


This was a movie that may last two weeks in the theatres, but that could be a long shot. It was entertaining but the storyline was written by a third grader. This movie is about as deep as a a child's portable swimming pool. Apparently, zombies or deranged people that have been taken over by the urge to eat other people. This movie, unlike the amazing 28 Days Later and Weeks Later series, does not explain how this terrible event came from. It does not explain whether or not the entire world is inflicted or just north America. Whatever, these reasons are why movie can not ever rate above average. It is a joke from the beginning. I was not expecting anything less.

Jesse Eisenberg is Columbus. That is not his real name that is just where he wanted to go. Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson, has seen alot of loved ones bite the dust and knowing someone on a first name basis is just out of the question for him. Columbus never reaches Columbus, neither does Tallahassee reach...I am sure you can guess.

The cute Emma Stone is Wichita. She and her sister have been lying and stealing for a few years now, they need to attend confession. There background is questionable but this immorality is also implemented in the post civilized world. They cajole the two men and take off with their weapons and truck. Why they could not get their own car when they are all over the place is beyond me. They are driving all over the country but they are never shown pumping gas.

Abigail Breslin plays Little Rock who is Wichita's little sister. She keeps her sister straight and narrow, especially from falling for any male. Why they think that will hurt them is beyond me. They have gotten this far but ofcourse this is completely fiction. How long they were just sitting in the back of a grocery store waiting for some normal humans to arrive is beyond me. That is just nonsensical, when they may have had only one weapon and there was three massive zombies roaming around. They would have had to kill them or die themselves if they wanted to just hang out in the store. It does not make any sense, OK, this picture has been painted.

Tallahassee does have a wonderful time killing zombies though. He kills them in all sorts of ways but he chooses not to run them over when they are just sitting in the middle of the road way. Another head scratcher. Does he not want to put in a slight dent in his black SUV? He has a snow plow on the front. Is he going to present this SUV in a make believe car show?

Hollywood has produced many hotties. One of the hottest that I can think of is Amber Heard. Her appearance is nothing short of outstanding. Kirst Dunst should never be in a leading role again if someone like Amber is sitting on the sidelines. Though it would not surprise me since the skinny and unnattractive and anti-American Gwyneth Paltrow has tried her best to ruin the wonderful Iron Man series.

Amber is 406 and is so hot, she is still hot even when she is a zombie. I would let her fall asleep on my shoulder on the couch. Columbus was forced to do the inevitable though which is called the double tap.

The two girls and boys make their way west. The two girls want to get to an amusement park. Now this is laughable since they should know by now that lights and noise would only attract scores of zombies which it does. Any they say they only care about surviving, what? They only have to wait about a few more weeks and these zombies would die because of dehydration. Another aspect this movie skirts by.

Tallahassee takes them on a fascinating detour to Bill Murray's house. I wonder if that is his real house. The famous comedian plays himself and he is hiding out in his mansion but he resembles a zombie. He is ugly. He says this is a disguise, zombies never attack each other. Asinine, since they would sense his smell and know he has not transformed yet. But this movie is just silly. Columbus does not know it is a disguise and he shoots Bill Murray in his home with a shotgun round.

These two girls leave these boys and head off to an amusement park. Wichita rejects the overtures of Columbus and says she and her sister only care about survival. Yet, they head to an amusepark, power it up, which attracks every wandering zombie in a 10 square mile region. They are both saved by the men while they trap themselves on the top of a working pneumatic bouncing ride. This machine bounces them up and down while the zombies are clamoring to grab a hold of them.

All four of them survive and are headed off to Mexico. This movie has a few funny scenes but the musical score is absent. It is not long, it is just a goofball movie. Woody does have a kick shooting these beasts imposed as tore up humans.

I allocate this movie one star.*

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Love Happens

It seems Jennifer Aniston is trying to compete with Drew Berrymore in how many different ways one can make the same movie. The problem is, Drew is not trying to compete with anyone, it is who she is. She is a little sweety, Jennifer is trying to compete with the powerhouses out there and come close being equal her former mate left her for, Angelina. Angelina is in some some supreme movies, she is trying to compete for an Oscar. Jennifer is not even close to this. But, Jennifer was a star on a highly successful show for many years running. That is stellar in its own right.

The former Punisher Aaron Eckhart is Burke. Why he did not continue making Punisher movies is something to ponder. I am sort of broken up over it. Hollywood made a Punisher movie more recently and it was just weak compared to the one Aaron made about 7 years ago.

Jennifer Aniston teams up with Aaron in this movie. She is Eloise who at first I believe is deaf. But apparently she is just displaying her ASL skills. This movie is pretty devoid of a strong plot. But it does have character and meaning. Burke has lost his wife and he has transformed this pain and agony into becoming a motivational speaker for a wide range of people. His star is rising fast and his material motivated agent is helping Burke become supremely wealthy. But this is not what Burke joined this movement for, he does not want enrich himself based on his wife's tragic accidental death.

I do not think anyone would motivate me to walk on glass. That is just ridiculous. It is amazing people find comfort in listening to someone like this. One can listen for the story and perhaps get something out of it, but follow someone around like this rather than Jesus Christ. This makes little sense to me. But if someone like Burke prevents some suicides or some other outrageous outbursts, then Burke's work is worth the effort. I would take someone like Burke more serious and closer to being holy if I did think they were in that type of work for material gain. Burke did a poor job of hiring an agent. Perhaps it was just his childhood friend. If that is the case, then I can understand this arrangement.

Burke and Eloise meet in a restaurant and Burke is impressed by Eloise. Despite the fake tan, she is pretty. They hit it off and flirt whenever they are together. But there are some deeper misgivings with Burke. For instance, it is revealed half in the movie that he did not attend his wife's funeral. Why? Only he knows.

This movie is a shaking example on why the animal needs to be hit. Burke's wife swerved to avoid hitting a wolf and it cost her everything. She should have continued on track to hit the animal. Perhaps the quick moving animal would have avoid the impact in the last second. Regardless, one who swerves to hope to miss the animal, can also smash into someone else as well putting others at risk as well.

How does one who absorbes a powerful tragedy turn this into someone who can relate to other people's horrendous events and slowly pull them out of it? He has that inner strength and it shows. The problem is that he is a hypocrite and takes a chance of this momentum he has built from shattering. He has not fulfilled the wishes of his wife regarding the parrot. She wanted the parrot to be released into the wild if something ever happened to her. He has been too preoccupied with handling this responsibility. How does he talk to the masses when he can not even man up and handle his own obligations? I could never begin a career which revolved around urging other people to do things I was unwilling to do myself. I remember working at Univ. of Phoenix and Enrollment Counselors who never completed their degree were trying to persuade someone else to grab theirs. Hmm...

Burke also has had a pathetic relationship with his wife's parents since her mortal accident. Why? I wonder what they thought of his new found career. I am surprised they never sent a letter to the newswires or to a local reporter.

A personal success story of Burke's is Walter. Walter has his own demons since he lost his son. I imagine nothing is worse than this but this has stripped Walter of his entire pesonality. John Carroll Lynch plays this character well and his performance is credible. Losing his son has devastated him, it has affected his professional life, his contracting business has taken a frontal blow. He was reluctant to seek some help but his sister recommended he go see Burke. Burke worked with him, it was rough for a while but Burke was able to get Walter back on his feet. This was psychologically healthy and for the sake of him enjoying the rest of his life, or being able to live it properly, it was mandatory.

Aniston plays the same part in almost every film though. In this one, she does not care for Burke's success or his larger than life personality, but only him as a person. Ofcourse she would not care for him at all if he did not have an income stream or a job. But she this same behavior in every movie.

Burke and Eloise run into each other when Burke feels Eloise is trying to push him in a direction he does not want to go. She is right though, she wants him to go work out his issues and he is too stubborn to do so. Amazing he can talk to hundreds of thousands of people about these life's duties but he is unwilling to walk through the fire himself.

Martin Sheen is Burke's Father-in-Law. In a huge television and live audience event that Burke is giving, he continues to blame himself for what occured to his wife. This is hanging him up in life and it is now showing publically. His recent success is even more amazing or there is something wrong with his supporters. But her father enters the picture, in front of everyone, both men are crying. Burke is finally let off the hook for everyone to see. Burke's father knows it was not Burke's fault, it was just a freak and rare accident. Too bad his daughter chose not to continue moving towards the vehicle.

Despite this movie having a powerful message, it has been done before. This movie is not original. Ofcourse Burke and Eloise make up for their previous breakup and have a final and loving kiss.

Sasha Alexander is a photographer in the genesis of the film. She is interested in Burke but he passes on her, just totally dismisses her. Foolish. Sasha is much prettier than Jennifer. Sasha should have had the lead role.

I allocate this movie two stars.**