Stan Helsing

Leslie Nielsen and Kenan Thompson are the main stars in this horrendous spoof. It was not even a real spoof. A spoof dedicates about 15 minutes of their screen time to tear into another movie and poke fun of it. The spoof borrows some of the same music and background so it is totally conspicuous and black and white on what movie is being targeted. This movie had characters from other movies but it was so ridiculous it can not be deemed an adequate spoof.

Nielson did not have a major part in this movie, he must have had some free time or he was so bored in retirement he agreed to take on a role. Nielson could have been looking for some food money for a month, I am not sure. It is a tough economy, there could be other reasons.

I have always thought Thompson was funny. Since I can not watch Saturday Night Live, or do not really want to, it is good to see him here. Even if he is walking around in a ridiculour superman costume with his belongings in his crotch.

The cockroach scene at the outset sets the tone for the rest of the movie, and the tone is woeful. The tone is step away. But Diora Baird is worth looking at for a short while. How Kirsten Dunst obtains roles in block busters, or even Gwyneth Paltrow for that matter with Diora sitting on the sidelines is a Hollywood travesty and mystery.

This movie is so deplorable I am not going to mention character names. The movie is half way watchable for a guy because of Diora Baird is stunning. She appears to be a different person in outside of this film, though still beautiful, but her image in this movie is spectacular. The plot is simple. Four people, including Baird and Thompson get lost on Holloween and for some reason have Hellraiser, Jason, Freddy, Michael, and The Exorcist chasing them. The movie is just distressing. I mean, Nielson plays a female waitress. Are you kidding me?

Certainly I do recommend this movie. Any female would not put up 5 minutes into this movie. Most males could last about 10. If I was not a fan of movies, I would not have watched this so called spoof. There is not a chance in any minute originating from the Big Bang I would recommend this movie.

This movie mainly had the action adventure Van Helsing in its crosshairs with Hugh Jackman and the stunning Kate Beckinsale. This movie was nothing to write home about either, the bridge in this movie was something from the 5th dimension. Hugh Jackman's werewolf and the vampire at the end were just monstrosities. Not a good movie. The town being attacked in this movie had all sorts of healthy men but they just sat around being attacked at will by some flying creatures? The flying creatures were stunningly beautiful. Whatever. But this movie's main character was Stan Helsing, all the weirdos of the movie thought he was supposed to be the real Van Helsing. The famous monster hunter. Accept these are not really monsters, but whatever, it is a stupid fantasy. Van Helsing is not even real, he is a product of someone's imagination. The real monsters are Hugo Chavez, Sean Penn, Rosie O' Donnell, Bill Maher, etc. Where is someone to slay them-the real monsters?

I allocate this movie 0 stars.