Saturday, March 7, 2009


This movie had some recognizable faces but no names worth mentioning. This movie does for the nuclear threat whereas the horiffic and terrible Keanu Reeves movie The Day the Earth Stood Still does for the environment. Why is this movie made now? Watchmen should have been made about 25 years, at the height of the Soviet Union and USA nuclear exchange threat. This movie did not refer to the Soviet Union as that, Russia was constantly mentioned despite not ever showing a Russian or Russia. This is not news. The nuclear threat is emanating from Iran now, so perhaps should target Iran and said some of their propaganda towards them. This is clearly anti USA propaganda masked as psuedo entertainment.

Watchmen has several super heroes that are strong for reasons not mentioned. I guess this detail is not worth explaining. I guess the script writers expect us to assume that this is possible. It is not to me, I can not accept that a human being of this magnitude exists. And if they did exist, would dress in a clown outfit and act so child like. The mutants in X-Men are mutants, their powerful abilities are explained this way through evolution. Hence, this storyline is creative and makes sense. Watchmen was just full of assumptions and symbolic mumbo jumbo. This movie is incredibly long, occurs throughout the 60's, 70's, and 80's but with 21st technology and modern New York scenery and skyline.

The movie begins with a strong super hero being killed by a hidden dark cat or assassin. It appears he is expecting to be attacked but still can not prevent his murder. This assassin turns out to be the world's supposed smartest man, one of the Watchmen and one of their supposed friends. He has his own agenda and to me, when revealed, the world's most vain yuppy. This character, the victim here, is explored through out the movie and the most peculiar aspect is his super hero name is The Comedian. But he is not funny and he is a potential rapist. The movie is absolutely horrendous and is a lengthy debacle. The The Day the Earth Stood Still was at least short because its disgusting protect the earth message was so apparent. Global warming may be occuring since the earth is in a constant change and fluctuation. Man made global warming is still unproven, is a hoax tossed at us from forces that wanted us to live their way of life and to limit our freedoms and fun. I like ATV's, I am not sure if Keanu Reeves and Barbara Streisand does. I am not sure they would enjoy the excellent book which tosses this man made carnage on it's head-Michael Crichton's State of Fear. That book is spectacular, filled with research challenging the gobbledegook the man made global warming crowd revels in.

Watchman has the pretty Malin Akerman who plays Laurie Jupiter and Silk Spectre II. I have never heard of her and I do not expect you to have, I thought this was Carmen Diaz with a nose job. It sounded like her and this endless movie which tossed in 60's music throughout it was consistently dark and weird. Nothing wrong with the music, I thought I was dreaming or this was an aberation. Some people have said this movie looked good, it was actually far from it. The mother of this actress's character, I thought was Melanie Griffith but after conducting some simple research it was not. Jupiter knows how to fight and has the strength of 5 men. How is this possible? Atleast in the upcoming GI Joe movie, they wear special suits so their great fighting ability is atleast somewhat plausible.

Watchman has some decent hand to hand combat scenes. But the suits they wear are an absolute joke. I would think it would be a dorky Holloween costume but they wore these when actually crime fighting. Which just undermines any seriousness of the movie.

One of the Watchmen is a nuclear physicist caught in a room that for some reason is shooting nuclear energy into him. The security protocols are just non existent. He becomes more powerful than perhaps superman, looks sort of like the Silver Surfer, and is basically indestructable. He can shoot out beams of power and light like the alien machines in the also ghastly War of the World's movie. He is good but since he is so different in his state he becomes disattached with humanity. Oh, and we can like that is penis is shown throughout the movie-not. I guess females will enjoy this. This movie was dreadful. It's message being about 30 years too late and the people who do not care about the dangers of nuclear weapons will not ever sit through it. The Iranian leadership thinks woman should wear more clothes and stay at home. I do not think Akhemenejad would ever sit though this movie. Although I think this movie should be shown again and again to any terrorists caught and when they complain about torture, we give them some Hollywood directors to wail on for expecting us to sit through this wasteful and brain washing movie.

This same theme is now being regurgitated about every other month now.

Another so called superhero in this movie who turns out to be the top villian is supposedly the world's smartest man. He is a hidden compound with giant statues in Antarctica that no one even knows about. This movie is just drastically appaling. I actually thought this guy was the world's greatest pretty boy.

NYC is destroyed at the end, because this pretty boy wants to turn the nuclear blue man in the world's villian. The nuclean blue man whose actual name within the movie is Dr. Manhattan or Jon Osterman. On top of is capabilities previously mentioned, he can walk on the surface of the sun, duplicate himself, and fly off into outer space. He can manipulate matter and makes Magneto look like a person who can do more than make 10 free throws consecutive. All he had to do to save the earth was communicate a little more and pay more attention. This movie's constant banter is that mankind is doomed so why even try. Lets tell the ultimate lie so Russia and the USA can hold hands. And to top it off, this movie acts like evil can be vanquished and every citizen would sing Kum-ba-ya on the basis of this lie and if Russia and the USA just dumped all of their nuclear weapons into the the Mariana Trench. This is preposterous and both countries are not manufacturing nuclear weapons like we once did and have already destroyed many silos and weapons that once existed under the START I and II treaties.

One point that is actually truthful that one of the hilarious characters utters in this movie is that even if the nuclear weapons are demolished, violence and war would still march on. This is true.

I am thinking this movie was made about 25 - 30 years too late. Has it been sitting in Warner Brothers studio's basement for this long and during the recession they decide to toss it at us?Ofcourse when the Obamination takes the USA into a depression, will Hollywood continue with these painful and depressing movies? The International is still the best movie out and that movie would be better 10 times in a row than ever seeing this movie once.

Watchmen also had some violent and nasty scenes not unlike the sick movie Sin City.

In addition, I guess Hollywood has forgotten what nuclear weapons and technology could do for mankind. This was proposed and presented in the powerful and massively successful movie-Armegeddon. This was one of the top movies in the past 15 years with outsanding movie to boot. Nuclear technology could be used to save and protect human existence.

For the many reasons illustrated and explained, I allocate this movie 0 stars.

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