Thursday, June 25, 2009

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Let the haters hate, Michael Bay does it again. Unlike the latest Terminator movie, this movie satisfies the hype and like Devastator which sucks up the world around it and spits it out the other end, Bay sucks up the criticism and spits it out as well. I am not sure which part of the body he spits it out, that is another story.

I do not not see where the criticism is emanating from. It has incredible music, far away scenes, scenes that are close to home, hilarious humor, gorgeous woman, bad ass characters, intensity, etc. This movie is not for kids. Though they will see it. This movie has adult scenes and realistic language.

Megan Fox is back and she is gorgeous as ever. Mikaela Banes is her character's name. It is a stretch that a female that hot can be walking around a car shop in that atmosphere while dressing like that. But we will let that pass. Angelina Jolie in Gone In 60 Seconds atleast had coveralls on in her mechanic scene so that is a little more realistic. Mikaela did not seem to be a mechanic but more of an artist, that is believable. After watching the movie a second time, it is her father who manages the car shop. Regardless, her dress and wardrobe are unbefitting her environment, but lets movie onward.

This movie has transformers in all sizes and shapes, even different angles. For example, one scene had a transformer use mini machines to form a robot that was perfectly thin-so that the machine was undetectable to the naked eye until the light hit it at an oblique angle.

Shia LaBeouf is back and is spectacular as Sam Witwicky. Again, he brings his A game. His charisma, acting skills, make those intense action scenes look even more majestic. With that said, his character chooses a school where Freshman are not allowed to drive a car. OK, if one does not have a car, so what? If one has a sorry ass ride, another easy choice. But not only in his car spectacular, it is a loyal alien robot with out of this world capabilities. Forget that college. Go somewhere else.

The movie begins with Josh Duhamel as Captain Lennox leading a covert military strike team called NEST. Their primary mission is to root out and locate hiding Decepticans and eliminate them. Optimus Prime and the other autobots are in full operation and working with this US comprised team. Though there may be some English soldiers involves since Matthew Marsden has an English accent. He is Graham and is on this team. Marsden has been seen before in Black Hawk Down. Tyrese Gibson as USAF Tech Sergeant Epps is back and he is outstanding. He is funny and his comments make the movie seem completely genuine. He has one of the best lines in the movie towards end, short and poignant.

The outset of the movie is a huge fight scene involving Prime killing a much larger Deceptican called Demolisher. The Deceptican Sideways is elimanated as well in the fast paced melee. Sideways does not put a fight accept trying to run for cover. Well, he does knock back the Autobot female motorcycle triple team. Sideswipe splits him in half while rolling on one wheel with incredible agility and speed. If that is not balance and hand blade coordination, I am not sure what is. Demolisher busts up Shanghai a little bit and this upsets some liberal politician and ofcourse Obama. How do I know he is a liberal? He is a wimp. This politician, flies to Diego Garcia which is in the Indian Ocean, this is the headquarters of NEST. He argues with Lennox, Prime, and Glenn Morshower who plays General Morshower. I guess Bay liked his last name. Glenn is mainly in 24 as the trusty and loyal Secret Service agent. This politician seems to be on a which hunt and it is totally off kilter. He fails to see the goodness in Prime and the Autobots and in their vital mission to cleanse this planet of the Deceptican threat.

Sam is going off to college and seems to have some of the Allspark with him. A small piece of it scraped off of the Cube and seems to have popped loose when he was packing his luggage for college. When he arrives at college, he meets Leo. Ramon Rodriguez plays this whacky character who leads an IT team in locating secret alien information and posting them on the web. He is Sam's dorm roommate. Sam is trying to consume the college atmosphere when world wide events are beginning to unfold. Prime visits him and asks him for his help in being his human representative since the NEST team is being challenged by the pathetic current administration. Sam does not realize that the spark sent a bunch of secret codes into his brain and the Decepticans know about it. Soundwave has sunk his tentacles into the NEST's satelite and is listening to their communication and anything else that flows through that satellite. Sam rebuffs Prime, he is ignorant of the dangerous situation brewing.

Sam returns to school and is being pursued by Isabel Lucas who is Alice. She is smoking hot but Sam has Makaela which should eliminate any ideas. His bad. Alice seems to have him in her sites but it is strange that bumblebee has her inside, in the passenger seat and does not sense that she is a Deceptican. That is right, an alien robit with as much bite as the Terminator but the TX probably would not have been killed by being smashed like between the car and pole. But the TX's strength was too improbably to be taken seriously. No way she gets up without any affects after being blown up by a missile at point blank range at the cemetary.

Makaela is also in the sights of the Decepticans. Sam gives her the slice of the all spark after it inadvertently turns a bunch of his family's household appliances into some nasty little machines. Good think Bumblebee was there to squash them. Makaela locates the small spy in her garage and captures him alive. Malaela flies to Sam's college and find him being seduced by Alice. Makaela leaves, with Sam in hot pursuit. Alice flips and grabs same with her steal tongue and begins to choke him. This is after Sam paints strange signs all over the dorm room. Leo is pissed. The signs look Chinese. Bay could not help to put a poster of Bad Boys II in the room. Makaela and Leo hear the ruckus, they both return to see the impossible or improbable. A steal tongue ten feet long choking Sam. Makeala throws something at Alice or this nasty robot if I recall correctly, the metal box holding her miniature Deceptican hostage, and this forces this uncaring robot to let go of Sam. The three of them escape into the library and I am not sure why they just hide there. I would not have fun into a dead end. Alice has firepower and seems to have been a special invention, she is called a Pretender. Makeala eventually hotwires a car, smashes it into Alice and they drive off.

They do not escape. When the Decepticans locate Sam they pounce. Megatron returns and with another Deceptican to interrogate Sam. A Deceptican who can switch into a helicopter uses a magnet to pick up the car and carry it across the Hudson into an abandoned wharehouse. Megatron uses his robot minions to pry around Sam's brain. Sam, Leo, and Makaela would probably be killed at this point if it was not for the Autobots. Prime fights off Megatron and the fight ends up in a forest area outside the city. Sam rides with Prime as Makaela and Leo are with Bumblebee. Prime gives chase after Megatron and fights him in the forest. This scene is hectic and pulsating. But it is a trap. Starscream and Grindor join in. Prime kills Grindor and impales Starscream's arm but Megatron stabs Prime through his centerpoint. Prime is out of commission.

The Fallen senses this and comes to Earth and destroys an aircraft carrier. Rampage goes after Sam's parents in Paris with impunity. The Decepticans are sensing an opening. The asinine liberal politician uses Obama's wimpiness and shuts down NEST and the remaining Autbots. The Autobots are pissed and feel betrayed-but they oblige. I do not blame them.

Sam, Leo, and Makaela are with Bumblebee and discussing their options. Two Autobot jokesters are with them. They are straight clowns and bring light to this movie. Unlike Jar Jar Binks in The Phantom Menace, these two are funny. These two have character. Jar Jar was just annoying and undermined that film. Though the Darth Mal saved it. Leo pipes in and says he knows someone who may be able to help them. It is none other than: Agent Simmons. John Turturro is back and is running a meat shop. His sorry department has been wiped off the Federal slate but he has many secrets in his business's basement. He could be a conspiracy freak but he has hard evidence to support his claims. In addition to have full blown experience with the alien machine menace. He has also been running a secret website competing with Leo's. Simmons, with Makeala's Deceptican hostage locate another possible sign that the Autobots and Decepticans have been rummaging around Earth. It is in the Space and Science museum, somewhere on the east coast. They sneak in at the bring of closing using tasers on the security guards. Leo is funny. I can see why Bay kept him around. I would not have thought this movie needed another character but I guess they did. Well, no Anthony Anderson but they had the two trash talking robots. Oh well, it worked out.

With the fragment from the all spark, they ignite Jetfire. An SR-71 resting in display. He is a former Deceptican. He transports them to Egypt using a space bridge. Jetfire is old and wise. The final scene is evolving around Egypt. The Pyramids are a center of attention once again in a film. The Decepticans have the Destructacons in the vicinity. This forms into Devastator. The NEST team drops off that brain dead politician in the middle of no where. And after Sam calls in and informs them of their coordinates, the NEST drops their team in the area. But Starscream locates them and shoots out a electronic jamming pulse. All communication is deal. With the Decepticans closing, Epps says the obvious, they are "going to get their asses whipped." And that is saying alot since this movie is a full flung blockbuster with a myriad of memorable lines. It does not quit. The best statement of the movie. This movie is so real, one would never think that special affects were used. Bay is seeking the gold metal.

The final fight involves airfighters, a navy rail gun which is still about 10 years out, and Simmons making this awesome phone call to a navy captain. This rail gun is used to knock down Devastator who is ripping apart the top part of the pyramid. They have have hover crafts in this movie. The marines are on their way after communication is finally open.

Prime returns to life after Sam finally reaches him. This is right after Sam has a near death experience where he meets the Dynasty of Primes. In the storyline, they have sacrificed themselves to save Earth by using their bodies to conceal the key to the sun harvester. I am sure some religious folks could be upset that Sam does not meet God as many people think of him. But it is fiction and the goodness of Sam and the sacrifice is amazing. A blast from Megatron is what almost lethally imperils Sam. This scene that I am describing is not unlike the first magnificent film when Sam has to run with the allspark across a full blown war zone in Mission City/LA. Sam's parents are grabbed as hostages and as a ruse to suck in Sam. Rampage and the Decepticans drop them off in the middle of this war zone. Decepticans have cool miniature surveillance machines as well. These types of miniature spy machines are being researched as we speak.

Apparently the largest Egyptian pyramid has been used to conceal this massive device that has the power to consume the energy of the sun. It is called a sun harvester. The Decepticans are known to destroy stars, even with life forms present. Nice fellows. Jetfire kills Scorponok which is no small feat but is hurt in the fight. Sam gives the Matrix of Keys to Prime by stabbing him in the chest with it. Prime reawakens but is still weak. Jetfire merges with Prime and Prime flies to the top to the pyramid and destroys the sun harvester. He eventually kills The Fallen. Prime is a living powerhouse again which brings hope to the Autobots and the brave NEST team. Prime's power almost destroys Megatron but Megatron and Starcream escape-to fight another day. Transformers III is on its way. Starscream makes a comment about why he chose to be a coward at the end but I did not see that. He was firing missiles at Bumblebee and the one who located Sam probably with Soundwave's help. But Starscream did not confront Prime in Jetfire mode so that is what he could be referring too. After watching the film a second time, Starcream was insinuating to Megatron that they should retreat and survive. Starcream should not have used the word coward though, this only damages his own reputation further in terms of how Megatron thinks of him. Starcream should have just said, after the Fallen was vanquished by Prime and Devastator was devastated and communications were reopened by the US Military, that retreating from that current battle would be the prudent choice.

Starcream's voice sounded weaker in this film and two different times he is bitched around by Megatron. Megatron seems to have tank treads on his feet in this amazing second version.

I think this movie set the bar higher. It was better than Wolverine and Star Trek. Terminator does not even come close. The imagination here is unequaled. The big knock on the first Transformers movie was the 20 minute scene in the middle where Sam was looking for the glasses in his house. Makeala was in his room and his parents found out. It was just a slow scene, bathroom break time. None of this occured here in this supersize sequel. There was not two minutes of boredom. In fact, it was overwhelming. I will probably see this movie again this weekend.

I allocate this movie five stars.*****

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