Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Jennifer's Body

I remember when Sean Hannity was arguing with a race monger on a show that I wish was still around called Hannity and Colms and this guy would state this phrase every time Hannity would offer a cogent counter argument: "Here we go again." This is what I was thinking when watching this movie, another vampire movie. Anyone could have played the role of Megan Fox but with her Transformer success, she is probably the go to girl now. Jennifer Check is her characters name in this futile picture.

Actually Jennifer was not a vampire, she was more of a demon. There were some similiar qualities revealed though. I would still toss it in the same genre.

Amanda Seyfried is the real attractive female in this movie. She weighs more than 80 pounds for one. She also shares a goofy name which is Needy Lesnicky. Fox is highly attractive, don't get me wrong but she is not any Jennifer Love Hewitt and never will be. She is not even Scarlett Johansson, no way, no how.

Jennifer is a vampire with super powers and she is doing the usual thing, she is killing people. It is mainly young boys who are her age. Needy knows Jennifer is guilty of these killings but is not bright enough to obtain proof. Jennifer displays her healing powers in front of her and this is shocking too Jennifer as it would be to most folks. It is hard to believe but Seyfried is a geek in this movie. She is not her usual highly attractive self. I guess the producer only wanted one hot girl in this film which is sort of strange. But it is part of the plot. Seyfried has been hanging out with Jennifer since Jennifer is the hottest and most popular girl in school. There does not seem to be a boy of her stature at this remote high school.

Jennifer is not only a vampire she is nasty as well. She uses Needy as a companion. The climax of the film is when Needy's boyfriend is seduced by Jennifer and Jennifer kills him.

This movie is nothing special. It is designed for young audiences. Needy seems to not have any parents, her home is perpetually empty and dark. The same with Jennifer. Jennifer's mother makes an appearance at the end after Needy kills Jennifer. Jennifer's mother does not have a clue about Jennifer's lunatic, offbeat, and peculiar behavior. But this is her little baby who can not do anything wrong.

This movie is about as simple as they come. It is called Jennifer's Body because an emerging rock group thinks killing a virgin will offer them the power to become a popular music group. They do not want their music and hard work to carry them ahead of the pack but they believe Satan is the answer. Jennifer agrees to go with them in their uncomfortable looking travel van after the town's club/bar burns down. This scene is copied from a horrific incident that occured at a rock n' roll event in a medium sized locality several years ago. In the movie, I thought everyone escaped and I did not see anyone burning. There seemed to enough time for members to escape. Jennifer and Needy both easily escape. This band does not even stick around to help out the town members. They just take off with Jennifer who volunteers to come with them. This seems to be the real reason this urban band even accepted this venue.

They are not interested in Jennifer as a fan or as a possible date, they want to sacrifice her for Satan. Where they obtain this idea is beyond me. How they think this will generate some sort of power for them is detestable. How they think they would get away with it is also ludicrous. But this is a movie for people who may not ask these types of questions. Jennifer survives the brutal treatment and the band rolls on their way. One of them would eventually admit this repugnant act years later and everyone one of them would have been strung up. All for the sake to become rich and famous. It is good they will never see either.

This movie was not worth seeing. Fox will continue to make movies and Seyfried will to. Last year's Twilight was only slightly better because it has a few more decent characters. But Twilight was over the top as well, a vampire running from Oregon to Phoenix is just beyond the scope of one's imagination. Atleast mine. This scene was no more realistic than a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Jennifer's Body had one decent scene towards the end when she rose out of this pool and floated about 15 feet above the water. But it was only far-out for about 2 seconds when Jennifer bloated out just one of her many sarcastic comments. Jennifer would have wiped out Needy and her boyfriend if her boyfriend did not stick a large pole through her midsection. Johnny Simmons
plays Chip and he should have believed Needy for what she was saying. Like me, Chip needed a haircut. Horrible murders and events were all around him, what Needy was warning him about was not that outlandish. His better judgement failed to kick in. But who is going to turn down an attractive girl? That is the ultimate question.

I actually liked the ending. Jennifer was an immoral child and abused her powers. Needy going after the rock band will return the favor full circle to that rotten band. Too bad this movie did not have better music.

Certainly I can not wait to see Fox in Transformer's III.

I allocate this movie one star for all the reasons offered.*

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