Previews with a View

Inception

2010-08-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

This movie was absolutely spectacular. It was wonderful because DiCaprio did not hog the spotlight. This movie gave some serious scenes to some other solid actors. An absolute winner, this movie takes the cake, this movies does for dreams like The Matrix did for technology or computers.

The only downside is Ellen Page talking trash about Sarah Palin and other conservatives. If she continues to run her mouth like that, she will go the Jennifer Fox route and lose major roles.

As complex as this movie is, the characters are mesmerizing. The special effects are fascinating and the action is pulsating. I cannot choose one scene that should have been eliminated. If anything, they could have explained a little more about the paradox regarding the endless staircase. That movie brought up some concepts that are worth having an entire dialogue and college course over.

The wife of DiCaprio was not that amazing. I thought they could have had a different actress and when Arthur became that blond in the bar seen, her face looked like plastic.

The Last Samurai's star Japanese actor carried his own in this movie. He performed admirable.

The angles that this movie took regarding dreams, the aspect regarding the mind being a source of theft while you are dreaming is mind blowing. I have seen this movie twice and was able to soak up viewpoints I missed the first time around. This movie tosses much action and innovative ideas to the viewer, once is not enough. This movie is bigger than the world around us. An idea to contemplate, one minute in reality is several minutes in the dream. This formula compounds if one is in a dream within a dream, hence one night of dreaming could be decades in a dream world.

If I made my own world in a dream, unlike DiCaprio and his wife, I would have included more trees, streams, and mountains.

This movie is impeccable.

I allocate this movie five stars.*****

Prince of Persia

2010-06-05T02:05:00.000-07:00

I did not know they had teeth whitener 2600 years ago. This movie was better than the Scorpion King because of the music and constant action. Both movies were about the same on the ridiculous level. This movie is probably as good as The Mummy as well. Primarily because the lead actress is hot in this movie (too bad she is not that attractive at the premier).

Jake Gyllenhaal gets his feet wet in an action movie. He is jumping around roof tops like Matt Damon did in The Bourne Ultimatum. Except that movie was much more realistic which is why Persia will not equal that movie's box office take nor have its staying power. Dastan is the hero and he can fight a little. He just leaps everywhere and seems to have ankles made of iron. In one scene is falling about 40 feet, wow.

Gemma Arterton plays Tamina and she is stunning throughout. Amazing eyes and lips. What happens to her in real life when she puts all that makeup on is anyone's guess? She looks completely opposite, too bad. But she makes this movie shine which is something Rachel Weisz never did in her mummy movies.

Persia had the action, a solid plot and some funny characters. They even allowed another character to completely dominate an action scene. I like that. The director is a team player. This weapons thrower took one for the team.

The good guys win in the end. Why the father did not live when Dastan reversed time is still unclear to me? Much of the fighting was done on movie sets, it was quite easy to detect this which is a detraction. In addition, no way snakes can jump like that. It would have been interesting to see this movie if it was as realistic as Troy or a movie of this caliber. 300 was artificial as well, that was a glorified cartoon but it brought Gerald Butler to the forefront.

Ben Kingsley is still weird looking, he plays a wicked spiritual leader called Nizam. He did not do a good job of defending himself at the end that is for sure and his spies gave him up when they took to the sword.

This movie could have been a little better if it did not look so fake for much of the time. It would have been nice if they mixed in some ancient Persian dialect. The viewer learns nothing about Persia watching this movie. They did mention the Hindu Kush, good for them.

I allocate 3 stars for this film.***

Reputation Management

2010-03-12T12:30:00.000-08:00

Do you care about your outside or Online Reputation? Do you want to fight and combat the world wide disease and epidemic of slander? There is a new phenomenon that is prepared for this fight. There are leaders throughout history that would have enjoyed employing this service. Abraham Lincoln, for instance, would have contracted a firm to carry out this crusade to attempt to alter the opinions of the south regarding himself, of course it would not have been online. Online Reputation Management is a system of monitoring and following the actions and opinions of people. The focal point is to recognize the negative and positive opinions.

Reputation Management should have risen at the same time as the paparazzi did. Perhaps it did but it has not been given any credence on a wide scale thus far. This breed of management is the methodical operation of degrading or undercutting negative opinions and transferring these slights and criticisms into affirmative or uplifting ones. This is a heavy ordeal and it is not without its ups and downs. You may have to get your hands dirty because the opposing side is nasty. This does not mean you have to resort to the same tactics though.

The fulcrum of reputation management is to record and chronicle the viewpoints and motions while mimicking what you chronicle to initiate a feedback link. This is sort of a high tech or public dance but the public does not always know who is pulling which strings. It does not matter if this is an international conglomerate or your piano tuner; everyone wants their reputation and name protected. Tom Cruise’s character in Mission Impossible, Ethan Hunt, fought through this same ordeal on a fictional level and prevailed. But this sort of stuff occurs in reality as well. It would behoove Toyota to hire a reputational management company as we speak.

Cop Out

2010-03-06T18:13:00.000-08:00

Can you laugh at a movie that is ridiculously phony but is supposed to be realistic? This is not as ridiculous as the 1980's law enforcement Police Academy movies but that is not saying much. The latter movies were hysterical at the time though.

Bruce Willis stars as Jimmy Monroe, a broke down police officer trying to pay for his daughter's wedding. He knows she wants an expensive wedding which to me indicates how out of touch she is to her status and the financial troubles so many people are in because of over spending.

Cop Out had its usual bad ass villains. How they took over a church is beyond me. I, and other baseball fans, do like this movie because one of its backdrops is a baseball card in particular and baseball collectibles in general. The charismatic gangster wants to buy a minor league baseball team after he gains lucrative information about this drug dealing opponents.

Ana de la Reguera, from the comedy Nacho Libre, plays the stunning Gabriela who resembles Penelope Cruz but beats her to the finish line. Which says something since Cruz is alluring as well. Gabriela is caught up in this mess somehow, the movie's plot is pretty complicated but like a movies of this caliber it does involve power and avarice. Blockbusters such as Spiderman, all three, or Iron Man cannot claim an actress which equal Reguera’s merit or stature.

Funny man Sean William Scott helps carry this movie. Dave is his character's name and he plays a neighborhood thief who is adept at jumping around things. He turns it into a science and his act is spontaneous and goofy. He is totally oblivious his life is a disaster. He is confident until he slips up and practically breaks his neck on a fence trying to perform a high risk favor for Jimmy.

The main plot is. Dave steals Jimmy's prized baseball card when he is about to sell it for about $80,000. This would more than cover the $48,000 wedding he is supposed to pay for. Dave sells this baseball card or trades it for drugs to the drug dealer who has a fondness for baseball. This is the same criminal consortium who shoots up a storefront and practically mortally wounds Paul. For this recklessness, Paul and Jimmy are suspended for a month without pay. Do they go home and read books and try to find a secondary source of income? No, like Eddie Murphy's Det. Axel Foley character in Beverly Hills Cop and every other detective in Hollywood, they continue to work on the case. Of course they prevail and the villains either flee but the main badass is destroyed.

After they are suspended, Jimmy and Paul are driving in the car together the next morning. This is unrealistic but I guess Paul has nothing else to do but to tag along to see if Jimmy can sell his baseball card.

The ending is enjoyable and hysterical. Jimmy's ex-wife's new husband, who has already proved he is a white collar classless yuppie, gets punked by Paul at the wedding in full view of Jimmy’s ex-wife. The funniest part in the movie is when Paul is in agony after being kicked in his privates by the city's most successful car thief, an 11 year old. Paul retaliates in kind, wow, the audience rolled over during that scene.

This is worth seeing; it is probably the funniest movie of the year. It may not be worth top dollar though nor is it on par with the riveting Brooklyn’s Finest.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

The Road

2010-01-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

If one thought Children of Men was depressing and horrid, this is a movie to avoid like the plague. What is the point of this movie? It is just terrible, but still not as bad as Cage's Wicker Man. This is another apocalyptical movie but what happened to the world? I did not hear that explained but ofcourse I skipped about 15 minutes of this unentertaining movie because it was so slow.

Viggo Mortensen is the Man. He does not have a name accept papa. His Boy calls him that, played by some boy who could be a girl. Kodi Smit-McPhee is the Boy and he is just useless. He cannot even walk for part of the movie which is difficult to ponder. The Man shot a cannibal who somehow grabbed him while he was about 15 feet away from him but then the next scene he was only about 6 feet away from him. So the Man shot the cannibal and the bullet came close to the Boy's head. Scary for the Boy. OK, why does his legs not work after that?

Charlize Theron is the Woman and she has this Boy shortly after the world falls apart. The world falls apart because the earth is just trembling. Earthquakes are happening at a rapid rate, knocking down all of the trees and causing forest fires as well.

The Man and Boy are headed south. The Boy seems to have learned no survival skills at all despite growing up in this sick world.

The man dies at the end, the arrow stuck him in does not help. Lack of nutrition and disenfectant was probably the culprit. The Man is though, none of this seemed to rub off on the boy. But the boy seems to be adopted by a good family at the end. I hope the rebel canibals do not find them. The movie is about 85 minutes too long.

The Mom must have taken her own life, she does not want to face the chance of being captured alive and raped. Atleast she and the movie is realistic about this. To the dismay of her husband, she leaves the Man and her son and I am not sure what becomes of her. She may just take her own life since that is what 95% of the world population seems to have done. I am sure there are tribes in Africa and the Amazon and some Native Americans doing OK. But all the game died too, so that would impact as sure as the sun is bright. But this movie never showed us any sun.

This movie was stark. Void of any music but full of agony and misery. Glad I did not pay to see this decrepid work. I never even thought of laughing at any scene. Most of the movie takes place about 10 years after the main destruction started to occur. I can infer this by the age of the Boy.

I learned nothing from this movie. I took nothing from it either. It was absolutely pointless to see. I would never read the book. Kind of like The Matrix, The Matrix movies never explained why the Earth on the surface was blasted away.

I allocate this movie zero stars.

Sherlock Holmes

2009-12-30T12:40:00.000-08:00

I did not know House's great great grandfather was Sherlock Holmes. They have a lot of similarities. Both are very bright, have incredible attention to detail, have pushed everyone away from them, maintain a normal and innocent successful sidekick to speak some rationality to them once in a while. Iron Man's Robert Downey Jr. plays this part with poised reckless abandon.

His clever but gullible mini partner is Dr. John Watson. I think they borrowed his character from Wilson from the same show mentioned above. Jude Law from the terribly boring Artificial Intelligence reigns supreme. Law is a fine actor, interesting how his star is now second fiddle to Downey Jr. This would not be the case about 5 years ago.

The plot is about a psychopath who is basically a chemist and magician all wrapped up one. He enjoys killing people and placing their bodies in symbolic alignment. He practices magic but his only trickery is old fashioned bribery. He is hung but lives. I thought he had a twin like the spectacular movie The Prestige but I was mistaken. He was never actually killed, why did Watson proclaim him dead then? I am not sure; he must have taken something to slow down his heart. He had more chemicals in his home than DuPont has in their laboratories.

Body of Lies's Mark Strong is the devil's right hand man, he is the one and only Lord Blackwood. He wants to control England and reclaim America. He asserts America is weak after the devastating Civil War. He is about 30 years late. America was powerful and rising by the 1890's. America was reeling in the late 1860's, a few years after the Civil War but not three decades later. Blackwood wanted to kill off England's Parliament with poison gas, while some blood sucking politicians took a pill that would protect them from the poison fumes emanating from the floor vents.

Blackwood's ploy is determined by Holmes and Holmes outsmarts him in the end. He is properly hung on the new bridge being built by fine English engineers to span the Thames.

The gorgeous Rachel McAdams stars in this entertaining but skippity skip movie. She is a deviant, a seducer, and a thief. Blackwood trusts her but he chose the wrong woman. McAdam's is Irene Adler who is hustler, and a fine one at that. But is not evil like Blackwood, Blackwood miscalculated her character. Deep down, she likes Holmes despite almost betraying him in the end. This movie moves quickly, there are so many scientific points made and ideas tossed out, it is hard to follow. The action scenes bounce all around; tracking what is actually occurring is difficult. Nevertheless, I cannot recall a wasted scene. Several parts were comical. I think the writer's for House wrote many of the sharp and sarcastic lines for Holmes.

Hancock's villain Eddie Marsan plays the predictable Inspector Lestrade. He is manipulated by Blackwood's man and arrests Holmes. Of course Holmes is about 5 chess moves ahead, as always.

This movie is entertaining. It is worth seeing. It is fantastical though; Blackwood's manipulation is just too over the top to me. His character is Adolf Hitler, about 40 years before the actual worldwide beast comes to power. Blackwood wants to push the start button on World War I about 20 years before it actually ignites. It is purely fiction though, I understand this but outstanding movies are magnificently realistic.

Like Ocean 11 and 13, I wish they added another 5-10 minutes to actually explain one of the many scientific explanations they propose in the dialogue. I think the writer's would be surprised; a lot of us enjoy science.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Invictus

2009-12-24T13:14:00.000-08:00

Do you like watching grass grow? If not, this may not be the movie for you. This is the opposite of Transformers II, not one attractive girl, very little humor, void of any intrigue, and absence of any suspense. Rugby and history is the centerpoint of this movie. The final rugby match, the closing 20 minutes is eventful.

This is a movie that may appeal to non Americans than us. I thought Gran Tarino was slow, this movie is on the same level as that. Clint Eastwood directed both movies. I think he is interested in making movies that High School teachers would love to show to their students. He is making cultural events, not films worth spending $10 for. Perhaps I would pay to see this movie if free Red Vines and popcorn was included in the ticket.

Morgan Freeman is Nelson Mandela and he has just been released from his island prison. This movie did show some pictures of South Africa that I have seen before. Capetown looks exotic, right there on the coast like that.

Matt Damon stars as the buff Francois Pienaar, team captain of the Springbox. This is the national rugby team in South Africa that has been dominated by white for some time. In South Africa, whites favor rugby and blacks lean on the soccer side. The Springbox are beloved by whites, it is their passion and consumes their solitude. The dramatic scene in the first half of the film is when the black national sport organization was going to strip the Springbox of their colors and uniform colors. These colors have been a symbol of oppression and the terrible system of apartheid for decades. Mandela intervened and persuaded some of these officials to not tear down something that white people in South Africa have been celebrating for so many years. This would split up the country even more than it already is and start a derisive precedent.

Damon performed well with this South African accent. He pumped up for this movie, he was pretty thick. He was a solid captain. This movie had a third minor storyline in it besides Mandela and the rugby team-Mandela's security team. At first, just blacks were guarding Mandela. But they needed additional numbers. The captain of the security team was shocked when five white security guards stepped into the already cramped room. Mandela signed the protocol there. Mandela wanted to unify the country. When the citizens of South Africa see their leader being guarded by white security guards, this is not only a symbolic gesture but an exclamation point. He is saying this is the new path, I am on it, will you follow me? We need to mix, forget the past, and start with fresh sheets.

Mandella surrounds his schedule around the Springbox schedule. They are hosting the Rugby Word Cup in less than a year and supposedly the only reason their team qualifies is for this reason. The South African rugby team only has one black player and I am sure he was a recent addition. I thought Mandela would have tried to persuade the team to take a few more blacks. That would have been huge. I know there is some amazing black athletes and rugby is a strength and speed game more than just a skilled sport. Ofcourse blacks are skilled but it does not take that long to learn rugby and understand the games strategy. I am surprised the sports committee did not compel the Springbox to add some more black members.

Rugby is pretth boring to me but I did learn a little how the game is played in this film. The final episode is a brutal but exhilarating match between New Zealand and South Africa. I am not sure if this was the championship or the first big test for South Africa. It must have been the championship since Francois hoisted and kissed the large cup trophy at the end.

New Zealand was favored to win, South Africa was underdogs. New Zealand an intimidating team dance and song they performed right before the match. This was done right in front of Francois and his team. Eastwood did not show the unique rugby referee hand gestures not how a team substitutes a player. The game was intense and went into overtime. New Zealand, after a hard fought struggle, prevailed against a mighty oppenent.

Eastwood showed how sports can unify a fragmented nation. Two taxi drivers were near the stadium, listening to the game parked on the side of the street with a door open using their car's radio. A young black boy walked by and seemed to be picking up garbage where he can trade for some recycling money. The taxi drivers shouted at him to leave. In the first half, the boy was loitering so one of the taxi drivers looked in the boy's bag just to see what he was doing. In the second half, the boy was sitting on their hood in total astonishiment and joy. He was listening to the competition live. Perhaps he never had this opportunity before. After South Africa overcame their demons and eliminated their foes, the white taxi drivers were picking up this thin black kid and screaming in total pandemonium. Who said sports does not matter?

Mandela's female assistant and political strategist always thought his rugby inclinations and interest was childlike and immature. She did not see the big picture. She thought his priorities were misengaged, she was wrong. But rarely that was the case.

This movie had some decent music. The first half was like watching grass grow. To me, that is a huge damp spot. Having a wonderful final 20 minutes just does not cut it. The movie was barren of any humor. Freeman and Damon performed well. I am glad Freeman was actually in a decent movie unlike a ridiculous movie like that Slevin debacle they sometimes show on TV. Eastwood did not come near his Mystic River film several years ago but this is a pleasant and decent movie.

Mandela is a world wonder but his Charlie Sheen like comment 6 years ago about the US only being in Iraq for oil proved world events may be over his head now. I wish we took some oil from Iraq for compensation of eradicating a brutal dictator and his iniquitous sons. But I guess we will sit back and allow Iran confiscate Iraqi oil.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Avatar

2009-12-20T10:20:00.000-08:00

When law enforcement sends someone undercover they usually or are always confidence their undercover will not flip on them. Why is this? Because they believe morality will win the day. Someone from the right background will never be a gangster since they are not cold hearted like that. It is not in their nature to slash and burn. Well, someone should have told the marines this in this high profile and action packed Avatar. Jake Sully is the marine in this movie, he is the chosen one. The marines should have chosen a Russian gangser to do undercover work for them since they would have no qualms about feeding intel to the marines even if that intelligence would be used against a peaceful, non-threatening and magnetic species.

The disappointing Terminator: Salvation's Sam Worthington plays this Jake Sully. He is a paraplegic who somehow got through marine bootcamp. He is about to have an eventure of a lifetime.

Mankind has found a new source of energy or some raw material that is highly valuable. But the movie sort of contradicts itself. Giovanni Ribisi stars as the corporate pitchman or playmaker named Parker Selfridge. At the outset, Parker says some special rock which floats, he has a sample, is what is financing this extravaganza. He says this to Dr. Grace Augustine who is played by Sigourney Weaver. This is not the first time Weaver has played in a James Cameron film, Aliens was her bigtime screen role. This time she is not shooting the aliens, she is mesmerized by them.

My point is, the final scene, Sully informs us that Earth is dying. Sully is narrating the film for us at certain points. So this is not really consistent.

What also is not accurate is mankind going to another planet purposely inflicting widespread damage and murdering an indigenous people. This is a cold hearted look at the marines. This is not misguided, really cynical. In the contemporary world, we cannot even drill and pump up oil off the coast of my home state of California even if it would help save an economy and give us a spark in our energy supply. So one is telling me that about 200 hundred years in the future, we are acting like we did 200 years from now in the past? I doubt it, I would like to think we have improved a little.

This movie borrows some ideas from Aliens, native Americans, and The Matrix. Mankind has the ability to movie physical bodies with the mind. Like Neo in The Matrix, Sully, who is a crippled marine, is able to manipulate a body which resembles the local aliens. The DNA is mixed with some human DNA and the aliens on this distant planet. I know Sully was asleep for 6 human years moving at the speed of light. His body is weak because of this but his mind recovers like it he just had a wonderful overnight sleep.

The marines do not work for the Federal Govenment in this film. This is where Cameron has borrowed some ideas from himself, his Aliens film. I do not blame him, that was a movie for the ages, far more than this one. Cameron must be Michael Moore's solid friend because this movie paints the marines in a bad light as well as corporate America. Most companies would never hold this strategy and I doubt the US government would rent out the marines to the private sector. A large company could have private contractors on the payroll, that would be credible. Enron or WorldCom could have done this, but so could have Barnie Frank or Bill Clinton. Barnie is still lying about Fannie and Freddie Mae. He does not have a conscious.

Sully loves be an alien. He has legs now, he is ten feet tall and can run 100 meters, I am sure in about 5 seconds. He earns the right to spend time with the alien folks by accident and he comes back to the human base to offer information and intelligence to Augustine. He is not just being monitored by Grace, but by Colonel Miles Quaritch played by Stephen Lang. Is he the quintessential marine? No. He is a cold hearted murderer without any reluctancy to slaughter mother nature on another planet just for the sake of seeing some explosions and exercise his hair trigger finger. Sully respects Lang but sees the wisdom of Augustine.

What really sways Sully is a female counterpart that helps tutor and guide him. We knew they would fall in love. That is not surprising. This aspect is seen in other movies. How about The Last Samurai? It is not a perfect copy but it does involve someone turning against their former side. Sully rides a 6 legged horse, a flying dragon, learns how to live in this hostile jungle, learns a new dialect, takes on a new culture, all in about 3 months. Which I can see. Sully has been hobbled and even though Miles offers him the chance to pick up some fresh legs paid for by the company, human legs ofcourse, Sully is falling for these new humanoids and amazing planet. They have floating mountains and a 3000 foot high tree that is about 300 feet thick. Who would want to destroy that?

The geeky Joel Moore is Norm Spellman who has studied hard to blend into the native alien Indians. He is the jealous one. Sully is the one writing history and telling the fairy tales. But Norm and Trudy have their day in the sun at the end. Michelle Rodriguez plays helicopter fighter pilot Trudy Chacon who turns traitor at the end. I am not sure if she is traitor though since this movie is so unrealistic. Mankind back home would not stand for this type of behavior. What would this say about our character? Lets just steal and rob all over the solar system.

The marines strike first. They blow down that large tree. Sully and Augustine and the small rebel group hijack or steal a marine helicopter to help out the natives. Much to the infuriation Miles, but he was already on to Sully and Augustine's tactics. But he failed to failed to put the screws onto them. Sully uses his intelligence of mankind to spread this knowledge into the biological deity of the natives. Using some fascinating biological chemistry, he transfers this knowledge to this shining array of plants in the middle of the jungle. The natives reach out to other native species for support. Their planet is under fire, strategic and shrewd move. This is what the native Americans should have done if they wanted to stand a better chance against the white man in the 17th and 18th centuries.

The planet gathers 2000 warriors who come with their dragons and horses. They are taking casualties until the diety calls forth their massive 30 ton rhinocerous type creatures, wild dogs, massive flocks of dragons, and 2000 pound cat like predator. The humans are in trouble. They are forced off the planet, atleast until the return and just fire bomb the place from the planet's troposphere or from outer space. With futuristic weapons, even nuclear, the planet could be subdued. This movie never showed mankind with any jet like aircraft after the bigginning which ferried Sully and his battalion to the jungle base. I guess they did not feel like they needed them. The planet seems to be smaller than earth, probably the size of the US, ofcourse as a sphere.

This movie was not an actual picture. It was like 300. This movie crossed between actual humans to a glorified cartoon. So that is a slight to me. It is not Wolverine, it is not even close to Transformers II or even Terminator II. It does not hold any water to this year's Star Trek. The musical score was nothing special. Transformers II's musical score was tremendous. Star Trek's excitement and scientific intrigue is what carried its banner. This movie did not have have an attractive female. Michelle Rodriguez is nothing to brag about. Avatar did have some decent lines but the final action scene was nothing compared to Transformers II. Transformers, brought to us by Michael Bay and his team is amazing because it is so lifelike. Like 300, I can not say the same for Avatar. Atleast Beowulf had an exotic Angelina Jolie and some badass action scenes to promote it.

The dragon scenes in Avatar were cool. When Sully jumped that lethal and ferocious red painted dragon at the end, that was unexpected and clever. It was also borderline lunacy but desperate times call for desperate measures. I did not expect that. He lived up to his charm. His daredevil instincts helped him since to gain face back with the natives he had to do something that would garner him instant respect. That was it.

The creative content in Avatar was stupendous, I will give it that. Floating mountains with waterfalls? Not bad.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

May not make up for the Dark Angel flop though Mr. Cameron.

Old Dogs

2009-12-17T03:48:00.000-08:00

Now I know why this movie has done poorly. It is another movie where children receive whatever they want and are spoiled beyond redemption. It will be nice to see John Travolta to return to what made him a massive star: action packed thrillers and intense dramas. But on the flipside, this movie is made for Robin Williams.

Travolta is Charlie and Williams is his sports advertising partner Dan. Both are pretty successful but their 30 year career has reached its culmination and they have made great strides with a Japanese conglomerate that wants to break into the US sports market.

The advent of this movie is rushed. Dan has just got divorced and his buddy Charlie takes him down to Miami where he seems to know like the back of his hand. Rather than offer sound advice to Dan he escorts him around the beach strip, pays for a ridicuous tattoo on his chest which is totally ridiculous. They did not even spell it to the artist, seeing this on William's chest is hilarious though. Charlie gets Dan inebriated and Dan marries this gorgeous woman, knocks her up and divorces her. Charlie is a great friend. Dan is basically a moron but these scenes are rushed past us since they are so absurd, if they were not, the audience would probably just vacate the theatre and inform their friends and family to avoid this movie like the plague.

The only think that Dan did that was right in Miami was spend some time with Vicki played by Kelly Preston. Why did he divorce her? Why did he marry her so quickly? She is a nice person and utterly gorgeous. Travolta chose a winner unlike Will Smith. Preston still shines. Dan conceives twins with Vicki but she never informs him about this. This is folds into the plot of this silly and disturbing movie.

Dan is in the train station or some public venue when Vicki spots him. They decide to have dinner together and Vicki blesses or curses, depends on what your viewpoint, him with the shocking news. Then she guilts him to take on the challenge of taken on these children in a moment's notice since she is an idiotic activist and needs to spend 2 weeks in jail for some asinine reason. Pure emotion, little reason. No company is going to poison the stream but she felt they would.

What is strange is the girl and boy do not come to Dan's home but they all move into Charlie's. Dan spends about $15,000 on child proofing the home which is obscene. Vicki is the most selfish human being around, she cares little for Dan's career even though it is at a critical juncture. Before she departs to serve her time, she informs Dan that the children should not spend any time with a baby sitter. She tells Dan that the children have never had a father. Well, that is her partly her fault, half seems about right. Both were selfish while the children suffered.

Dan and Charlie have a third partner in their advertising firm. The Brazilian Job's Seth Green stars in this movie. He has a touching moment at the end with a gorilla. He gets his best part smashed by a golf ball on a golf course. Ralph White is Seth's character's name and he totally blows it in Japan. He is a large reason the Japanese company cuts ties with them. Ralph acts totally unprofessional and displeasing in Japan when he was supposed to be the face of the enterprise.

How Dan forgets his notes and his power point display at the end to seal the deal with the Japanese firm is pure smoke and mirrors. How does this happen? I am not sure. This movie is funny but pretty unrealistic all they way through. There is few realistic scenarios in this movie's entirety. Charlie smashing pies in his face, Charlie looking like the Joker and Dan getting into the Japanese faces on the golf course because his depth perception was off kilter are all very funny. But those kids are out of control, they should have been smacked atleast twice. But this politically movie distorts reality and tosses another movie for the liberal crowd that business does not matter and lets create a fantasy world for the younger generation.

Dan did not choose Japan over his family. He chose financial security for them all. Seth is funny, there is not a movie he is in where he is not. Though he was pretty stupid in the amazing looking Jennifer Love Hewitt high school movie Can't Hardly Wait.

Dan and Charlie are famous in the behind the scenes sports world. Charlie and Dan make a good team since they are opposites. Charlie is the risk taker, untraditional one. Dan has always been more of a homebody and raising a family is certainly not out of the question for him. The movie ofcourse has a happy ending. Family and career, perfectly balanced in this fictional novelty. Tough times out there, why does Hollywood paint this astonishing picture?

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Tell-Tale

2009-12-16T12:40:00.000-08:00

This is one guy who needs to take his meds. Another guy who should not be driving a car. Former fighter pilot in the cool movie Stealth Josh Lucas stars as Terry. Terry must have been having heart issues since he receives a heart from a dying murder victim. Why Terry needed a new heart is not explained. But things change dramatically for Terry.

Terry's heart seeks revenge. Apparently it pops some images in head and begins to pulpitate rapidly whenever he is around the murder suspects. How does he know who the murder suspects are? Well, the first guy is an ambulance driver who is the first one to trigger this unusual heart tremors. Since Terry is a frequent guest to the hospital he strikes a chance to view his medical forms. He sees the name of the ambulance driver and seeks him out. He does not want fight him, he does not know this person was involved in a home invasion and a murder of an innocent couple. But this ambulance driver goes ballistic. Terry finds him taking a cigarette break in the alley behind the hospital. This man does not like meeting strangers and is certainly not very civil. He breaks a bottle and prepares to attack or defend himself against Terry. He charges Terry but somehow Terry is able to thwart the charge and turn the sharp glass right back against the ambulance driver. One down.

Terry has a daughter who has a debilitating condition. This is how he is able to meet Sarah Connor. Lena Headey is an English doctor named Elizabeth. She is appealing with a successful career but has managed to remain available. She seems to have waiting for Terry to ask her out. He can not even finish the question before she accepts. As their relationship builds, Terry has a dark secret to contain. His heart wants revenge.

The Glimmer Man and The Bourne Supremecy's Brian Cox is relevant here. He is Detective Van Doren who knows all about this murder case. This was not a normal home invasion gone wrong. But which one's are? This was made to look that way but it was really a body organ robbery. They wanted these people's organs but how they profit from this or walk away with the organs is not really explained.

Terry kills two more suspects, with two remaining. But the 3rd victim was the administrator in this sick scheme. But he was the bait, the two remaining suspects, one who is the doctor in this immoral group, watches Terry kill this man. Now they know who Terry is since he must have followed him home after Terry shot this man. Van Doren wants this case solved and knows there is not enough evidence to convict these iniquitous fellows. He gives Terry the gun and some rounds since Terry's second kill was ugly. He is able to track them down since his newly minted heart beats hysterically whenever he is around one of these suspects. It turns out there is five of them. But the final two are going to track down Terry. Atleast he will save some gas money.

The ending is pretty brutal with Terry being slowly taken apart in his bathtub covered in ice. But Van Doren saves the day with Terry regaining his strength. This scene is pretty ridiculous because this psychotic Dr. Giggle's like doctor drains the blood out of one of Terry's leg's veins. But when Terry runs down the hallway after Van Dorn shoots the henchman, the doctor stabs Van Doren in the neck with poison. Terry's heart is pretty much invinciple. One miracle has already been confirmed since this new heart changed his blood type and totally took over his bone marrow. Apparently this is the second time this has occured. Wow.

Did Van Doren make it? I am not sure, Terry could have called 9-11 after he untied Elizabeth. She is a doctor, perhaps there is a quick remedy for the sodium potassium that was injected into him. I am not sure and I am pretty sure that is what this malevolent doctor injected into Terry's heart and Van Doren's neck.

Terry and Elizabeth survive. Elizabeth has been wanting to take over the maternal role of the family. It seems like she is hired for this role at the end after they agree to not hide any secrets. But then she admits she is the one who paid for his heart transplant. He soon realizes she bankrolled that heart heist. She caused two people to be brutally murdered to save his life. He knows his life was not worth this, in addition to the carnage that has ensued. The final sound of this movie is his heart making one loud pumping sound. The job is not over, Elizabeth becomes a marked woman.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

This movie raises some powerful questions. If one hosts someone else's heart, can this affect their emotions and character makeup? What happens when brain's are transplanted? That will be an alarming subject.

Hollywood must be having a difficult time, they are not exempt to the Barnie Frank caused carnage. This movie was less than 90 minutes. I have been noticing that movies have been shrinking in length. Gone are the days when movies were two hours like the action thriller Con Air. This is not unlike when Doritoes stock store shelves with bags of chips that are the same size but with less delicious Cool Ranch chips inside.

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

2009-12-14T11:26:00.000-08:00

How does a movie with a couple of Hollywood studs and veterans make a movie with this decrepit? I know. Financial despair will force someone to do something they normally would not do. Nicolas Cage is Lt. Terence McDonagh and his real life personality is better off than the character he plays in this sad saga. I have read that Cage borrowed to heavily and spread himself too thin in a real estate spending spree. That can explain why the former Oscar winner chose a role usually beneath his caliber and proclivity.

My blogs are usually in proportion to the quality of movie. This not going to be any different. But this movie was not in the terrible realm.

Ice Man is back. Val Kilmer is not doing much these days. Kilmer is Stevie Pruit who is Terence's unfortunate partner. This movie occurs in the wake of Hurricane Katrina in the The Big Lazy. Terence injures his back jumping into some water to help someone escape who was trapped in a jail cell. Though it appeared to be a clean jump to me. It was only about 7 feet before he hit the water. I would have been worried about water moccasins which one was shown to be swimming around. The doctor issued him a virtual or lifetime supply of Vicadin but apparently this was not enough for him. Shortly thereafter, he developes a heroin habit to pacify and soothe his back. He should have taken early retirement which I am sure he was offered. I would think this would be forced upon him.

This movie developes characters that I have no interest in knowing about. Terence's sister just rambles on which is unneccessary in the middle of the movie.

Cage is back with Eva Mendes. This movie is about as good as their previous one where Cage flipped back and forth between a skeleton man on fire and a daredevil. Both of these movies are not worth much. Eva is Frankie Donnenfeld who is basically a high priced call girl who is Terence's girlfriend.

This movie is actually hilarious. Terence's life is in disarray if one could not already infer. His dad is in AA and he can not take care of their full ground labradore. Neither can his sister who seems to live at home still. Without asking what the dog's name is, Terence adopts the dog and the dog is riding in the back seat of a police cruiser with the high profile witness in the front seat. That was funny.

The plot of the movie encircles the murders of five Senegalese. Terence is trying to run down the suspects and determine what happened while he is balancing his psychotic life. He is losing sports gambler. He is a drug addict. How know one in the office knows about this is comical. When he threatens some old woman because she paid for a plain ticket for the young witness to flee the country so he does not have to testify, that is when Internal Affairs starts to scrutinize him. He also threatens some other guy whose dad is a major player in the south, he ties his own noose. He is right in both incidences but his professionalism and tone are contracy to what is expected and appropriate. His lack of tactfullness is actually put on display in the first few moments of this movie.

Terence walks around like a hunch back. There is no way he would be on active duty, not even in a French or Saudi Arabian police department.

Terence's must surrender his weapon and he is put in the evidence room. This is where he has been stealing heroin and jamming up the full time uniform police officer who manages this room. Another humorous scene.

This movie has a lot of elements to it. Terence blackmails a superstar college football player. He goes into business with Big Fate who played by the rapper Xzibit. Fate is a powerful drug dealer in the city who agrees to partner with Terrance. Terrence feeds him information where the police presence will attack the drug trade and Terrence slices him off a little of the cash and heroin.

Strange scene when Fate and his compadres shoot up some organized criminals who invade his house. Terence said shoot them again because their soul's were still dancing. And they had some guy break dancing who obviously could not be seen accept for the delusional and hallucinating Terence. He was dancing right in the middle of the carnage. Weird.

This movie is ridiculous. Terence's bookie delivers his winnings to him in his office at work. In front of all the other law enforcement. Apparently Fate was being played by Terrence. He certainly fooled me but it is too ludicrous to be credible. A police officer with half of this guy's faults and deficiencies would never be allowed to stroll around the community with a loaded weapon. I mean, Terrence is screwing prostitutes and robbing people of their drugs in a club's parking lot. He is corrupt beyond measure.

Fate is arrested and the Senegalese murder case is resolved. The murders occured over a disputed drug territority evidently. It is insinuated that Terrence will seek some drug rehabilitation. That is a start, his gambling addiction should be shortly thereafter.

This movie was actually somewhat clever. It was much better than Cage's Wicker Man. That was despicable.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Harry Brown

2009-12-10T09:36:00.000-08:00

This is anoth revenge movie but it is one of the better ones. It is better than Jodie Foster's revenge movie that was made a couple of years ago. Kevin Bacon had one around the same time, they are so easy to make. They attract people since there is so many despicable people that have no regard for the human life. They need to be executed. What is more peculiar to me is how many people vote liberal and allow this villians to reign supreme over districts and provinces around the globe. Pretty pathetic that is for sure.

Michael Caine stars in this movie. He is the hero, he is the one we look to to take us out of this temporarily hell. Harry Brown is the character's name of this person who decides the law works too slow or does not work at law. In this poor ghetto, one of many in London I am sure, someone needs to do something. I sometimes think that our laws help the criminal class as much as they do the law abiding folks. The barriers that the laws enacted in the western world sometimes seem to protect the very people they are supposed to punish.

Harry is a retired man who is in his last few years. He is a man of peace and decency. But like many people in the major cities around the world, he sees society slipping. He sees decay and witnesses an absense of heroes. He killed for his country in a professional manner once before. Now he decides to volunteer his efforts. He is not a man of uniform any more, but the outcome is the same. Evil is eliminated and knocked back. The criminals are not afraid of the empty threats that police point at them, since they know they can not stick and the police are as handi capped by the exact laws that are supposed to protect the innocent.

Harry has one friend that keeps him marching on. But his friend is having trouble with the violent youths in their apartment filled neighborhoods. Neither of them can walk where they want to walk because of the chance of a physical assault. Where is the justice in this? But many people vote liberal, and this is the result. I doubt Harry Brown votes liberal though. So another conservative is here to save the life of the liberals who surrounds him.

His friend's life is taken in a pedestrian underpass by some of these violent and mercurial brigands. Harry Brown is relayed this information by an area detective named Frampton. Emily Mortimer handles this role with ease. She is a public servant and does what she can in this chaotic and unforgiving world where like my dad likes to say, technology changes but people remain the same. Frampton is trying to dig up some proof on these hooligans but Harry Brown has little faith in that from happening.

Harry Brown decides to buy a gun. But unlike America, where one can buy a gun in a civil and reasonable setting, in London, where guns are outlawed for those who obey the law, one has to buy a weapon from the criminal underclass who give them a reason to buy the gun in the first place. Brown buys this weapon from one of the scariest racketeer I have seen in a movie in a while. He is scarred up, it seems like he has been in a hundred knife fights. He and his loser assistant have their marijuana crops growing under incandescent lights. They seem to be making their own porn video with any female they can entice into their disgusting residence. Once the female is inside this horrendous lair, she is drugged up and raped for days on end. These two are a real piece of work. But Harry takes care of both of them, he should be given a medal for this. But the leftist in London would probably lock him more than they would the criminals who are tearing at society's underbelly. One can not blame them, we are soft targets. Easy prey for these apathetic souls.

Harry saves this girl, takes the loot and the weapons. He drops the girl off at the area hospital. Frampton and her assistant are alerted. Frampton is moved by this move. This girl's life is saved a wad of cash to pay for her medical treatment is left with her. Courtesy of Harry.

The man who just wanted peace stokes violence. Harry's agenda and targeting of these pilllagers creates a maelstrom. The police want to charge into the neighborhood and round of these thugs. Frampton suspects Harry is behind this. But her police leutenants and partner do not want to hear this. When her partner agrees with her, he sides with Harry. Harry is eradicating the scum of the earth. He should be encouraged. That is this movie's message. Someone is needed. Where is our white knight? It certainly is not Obama. Obama is a liberal, he has only allowed these thugs to prevail. Where is our Robin Hood? We do not someone stealing for us, we need someone taking names and asking questions later.

The police barnstorm the area and have molotov cocktails thrown at them. Why they are not shooting actual rounds is beyond me. Why would one even be a police officer in a society that allows their uniformed police to be treated like this? It boggles the mind. These morons are only trashing their own neighborhoods while the the few good souls are held in check, held at bay. What can they do? Only the hoodlums have guns. What a wonderful place to be. Hard to believe some Americans envy this society. Oh yeah, they want to take out the gun manufacturers. Only in Sean Penn's fantasy land would that work.

Frampton's partner agrees to investigate this. Perhaps he is just bored. Frampton's superiors do not think too highly of her. Perhaps she asks too many good questions or perhaps her soft approach is not desired. I know this, her intolerance of Harry Brown is unnerving. Her by the book approach has only allowed neighborhoods across the horizon to be held hostage by the criminal order.

While driving into this ruckus, they collide with another car. Harry carries them both practically into his local pub. He thinks it is safe there. He is about to realize he is in the devil's lair. Frampton informs him that the main gangster's uncle is the owner of this establishment. Harry's main buddy. His long time steward. It seems he is the patriarch of these young hoodlums. He is housing this thug in his basement. He ends up killing Frampton's partner. While this young animal goes to work on Frampton, Harry has one gun left, strapped to his ankle. He shoots this punk in the neck, a fatal shot. The bartender is about to murder Harry but snipers devastate him. Good riddance.

When Frampton is being choked to death by this young player, young assasin, a whirlwind of atrocities, I wonder if she realized Harry was right and his mission was just and her orderly ways were not up to par? Did she become a conservative in her hear at that seminal moment?

The final scene of this movie is Harry walking down the usual route and he can freely walk down this pedestrian underpass without a fear of being physically acosted and verbally abused. Ahhh, what a thought. Where are you at Nanci Pilosi?

I allocate this movie 4 stars.****

Brothers

2009-12-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

This is a movie of two divergent brothers. Two brother that went into opposite directions. One went to fight for his country, the other went to fight against society. One received tax free pay, the other one soaked up tax payer's money while contributing nothing. One started a family, the other one paid for a tattoo on his neck. But the bond between them still remained strong despite these glaring differences.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays a semi-tough in this movie. He is a good actor, too bad we had to endure his sister in The Dark Knight. She looks him, she looked as much like the Joker in that movie as Heath Ledger. And he was the Joker. Tommy Cahill is Jake's character. Spiderman turns out to be a punk in this movie. But Tobey Maguire is so plain looking, can we really take this guy serious? He is Capt. Sam Cahill and if there was ever a Marine who could not strike fear in a baby kitten, Uncle Sam found his man.

The difference between the brother is exploited by Hank Cahill. I have been through this before, it is tough to feel and see a parent favor a sibling over oneself. Sam Shepard from many films included the realistic and mesmerizing film called Black Hawk Down. Hank clearly favors Sam over Tommy. This is blatant favortism and only forces a schism that does not have to exist. Who cares if Tommy made a mistake? He knows this, he served his time. The argument at the outset of this movie at the dinner table could have been avoided if Hank was not a total prick. He treats one of his sons like trash when that son has already paid his debt to society and has really damaged his life. Rather than be supportive, he attacks Tommy for past mistakes in the last dinner they would have as a family before Sam departs to the conflict zone. Pretty sad.

Sam's unit is called to return to Afghanistan. He has two cute daughters with Queen Padmé Amidala. Yes, Natalie Portman is here looking as cute as can be. Grace Cahill is the mother of two children and she is faced with the daunting task of raising these two sweeties in this uncertain world all by her lonesome when the terrible news is delivered to her. Yes, Sam offered his life for this country. His life was taken in Afghanistan.

This is what we are lead to believe for about 8 minutes or so. The movie bounces back to the central Asian country and shows Sam and another soldier being marched in procession to their doom. It may as well be, for one it actually is. They are both tortured and treated terribly. They are actually tortured unlike the so called waterboarding torture that the left likes to claim. What is torture? I would say listening to Rosie O' Donnell or Nanci Pilosi speak is torture. This concept of torture is completely subect. Moreover, this movie bounces back and forth from Afghanistan to small town USA where Tommy and Grace are beginning to fall for each other.

In one scene, one of the chief terrorists states to Sam that they should not be there. Meaning the US ofcourse. I would have undermined that reasoning instantly with a retort such as: "We would not be here if you did attack us in New York City, killing many Americans, or if you did not allow a terrorist group save haven on your soil to attack free societies all over the world." Ofcourse, in reality, I would have shortened this up. The terrorist has it all wrong as they usually do. Their delusional frame of mind has manifested itself to wreak world wide havoc.

While Sam and this other soldier are being held hostage, Sam is the resolute one. He is the leader, to the core. He constantly reminds this soldier to remain positive and maintain military discipline. But he is the one that breaks and ends up killing this young man with a pipe while the terrorists filmed it. Who cares if he is at gun point, he should have swung at the terrorist and forced them to kill him. But he punked out and proved how hypocritical he was. He also showed his true character, he was never that tough in first place. He believed all the military hogwash and garbage his marine father filled into his head for many years.

One of the daughters causes a scene at the dinner table in front of a girlfriend of Tommy's. This is well into the descent of Sam. Why she does this is beyond me. Her vulgar language is mind boggling and her rant totally undermines the credibility of her mother. Pretty bizaare, I cannot believe this is accurate. I can see a daughter talking back and being rude but this spitfire was too poignant to root from a small child. This leads to an ugly altercation between Sam and Tommy, but not at their parent's home but at Sam's. Tommy and some friends rebuilt and painted Grace's kitchen while Sam was on the other side of the planet. This is what Sam attacks and lays into. His mind is in an ugly state, the guilt for what he did is showing itself in the worst way.

The police are called, Hank is forced to do this. His mother urges him to do so. They know their son's is being tormented by demons. Hank deserves this a little but not at this magnitude. Sam has a hand gun and almost shoots his brother in the kitchen he chose to completely refurnish to help his wife out. This was a sparkle when she was really sad her husband was away. Sam is irate the police are called and confronts them in the front yard. The police would have probably shot him if it was not for Tommy fighting for his brother's life. Sam almost commits suicide in front of them all. This spectacle is subdued with Sam miraculously drops the weapon. The police engulf him. Sam can now see a doctor which he has been needing to see when he was first rescued in that lawless region.

The movie ends on a positive note. But this movie is troubling. It is based on a true story. There are many themes tied to this movie. Not one person is really guilt free in this movie. For instance, Grace chose to marry this die hard marine who probably was sort of fake from genesis.

This movie is a solid drama. It is worrisome because some people could think any soldier who returns from a war zone could just be nuts. This is not the case. Tommy gets out of prison and chooses to spend money he does not have on alcohol. Pretty stupid. He would have been back in jail if it was not for Grace. He decided to drink more than he could afford. The probation officer was on the verge of getting a call from the bartender/owner. Tommy seems to mature quickly shortly thereafter but the script writers never wanted to inform us if ever obtained a job. How he was affording to pay rent in that destitute apartment, I am not sure.

Tobey McGuire actually was crazy in this movie. He had that glass eye look in him. A straight jacket is what he needed. This movie's characters were not fully developed though. This movie had the big names, it could have been a little longer. For example, there was not one song in this movie. Music helps stimulate a story.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Armored

2009-12-08T01:07:00.001-08:00

In contrast to my other blogs, this one is going to be paltry. A movie of this caliber does not deserve that much more time devoted to it. It is not special, in fact, this movie could be understood while someone exercises or plays a 2 on 2 hoop game

Times must be tough when this many credible actors come to terms and agree on a script that seems to be written by a Freshman in High School. One not in HISP at that.

Laurence Fishburne is an actor of immense talent, this movie was a waste of his time. It appears the powerful roles in line with The Matrix and certainly Mission Impossible III are behind him. In this film, he is Baines and like the others, he is an armored car employee. He is surrounded by Matt Dillon who plays Mike Cochrone. The are reinforced by The Professional and Ronin's Jean Reno who plays Quinn. Prison Break and Transformer's Amaury Nolasco is Palmer. They are a tight unit and agree to pull off a heist of extreme proportions. But the viewer already knows this before they even have bought the rip off and calorie loaded pop corn.

The hero of this movie is Ty Hackett. Columbus Short is the actor who was probably the only on the set happy to be there. This is a step up for him and I am sure he liked being surrounded by all this talent. When he was not asking for autographs he was trying to figure out how to get himself out of this mess his character was in. It seemed every character was having financial issues. This monetary quandary made this plan all the more palatable.

They were scheduled to deliver $42 million or so to the bank. They decided to drive the money out to a run down industrial site and make off with the money. But the conscious of Hacket is what makes this a movie. He barricades and locks himself inside one of the armored trucks and tries to operate the technology this new truck is equipped with. But oh what do we do know, they are in a dark zone. Nothing radiates.

What happens for the next 45 minutes falls under the suspense category. But is really under the makeshift, languid, and decrepid one. There is some action, some shooting, mixed in with terrible editing, even worse acting, and a frail musical score.

Hacket eventually is able to notify the police, in the ruckus, his former allies are killed or in one case, kill themselves. Hacket, who was also dealing in a poor economic situation, because of his valor, may be eligible for some time of reward.

The good news is that the characters who once were in a sluggish financial state are no longer in this condition since they were mere mortals. All their problems have been transfered to someone else now while they are on their way to meet their maker. They tried to outsmart the system but were fatally foiled.

It goes without saying this movie does not rank that high in any scoring system.

I allocate this movie one star.*

The Men Who Stare at Goats

2009-11-27T14:52:00.000-08:00

George Clooney plays in another goofball role. This movie is a spoof on itself. It is the second movie like this this year that I can think of. The other one was Inglourious Basterds. This movie is funny but it is a joke, one could never take this movie seriously from the outset.

Clooney shows his bizaare facial expressions carrying the name Lyn Cassady. Lyn is out of the army in the movie but he spends half the movie explaining what his unit's purpose was to Bob Wilton before the movie catches up to itself. Wilton is a reporter and the narrator played by the former an actual Jedi Knight Ewan McGregor. This movie seems to occur a couple of years ago when the heat in Iraq was high. It is much calmer now, resembling South Central, LA which the left has allowed to remain in a state of decay. Cassady was in a unit called the psychic mind unit, something like this. It is hilarious but no one takes it serious.

The role of this unit is to be able to kill people, strip down the opposition, using nothing but their minds. It was supposedly based on this after the Soviet Union received some information that we were doing this during the Cold War. When in essence, we were not. It was a French hoax. But then the Russians looked into this nonsense, oh, I mean science, and made some inroads. We detected this, and then the US Army decided to duplicate this unit. After all, they could not have a monopoly on stupidity, oh I mean, telepathic research.

Jeff Bridges plays Bill Django who is the Army commander of this unit. His training and behavior is ridiculous. Bridges has a fun time with this unit. Lyn learns how to dance in this unit, is tricked into thinking that using his eyes could defeat someone else physically or mentally. Many of Lyn's fellow recruits, including himself, are deviants from the get go. They are either persuadable or actually take into this hogwash. This movie is about as realistic as Harry Potter.

The plot is as stands: Wilton wants to get into Iraq to make story. He feels he is missing out and his career is in stagnation. Lyn is going in Bahgdad and Wilton pleads with Lyn to allow him to hitch a ride. Lyn is reluctant but gives in. On the way, Wilton is just fascinated with this different type of unit that Lyn describes to him.

Kevin Spacey plays Larry Hooper is a failed sci fiction rider from Colorado. He is spiteful and labeled the serpent in this unit's Garden of Eden. This movie repeatedly makes references to the jedi code from the Stars Wars franchise. The ironic thing about this is that Jedi's in that storyline actually learn how to fight. This is after they become mentally impregnable but at some point they learn how to go on the offensive. This psychic unit never learns how to use a light saber, or a gun, or even a knife. Well, they are trained with knives but their knife training is so fantastic and theoretical, it is never used in combat successfully. They are totally useless in reality but in their heads, they are peacemakers and freedom fighters of the world.

About 6/8's into the movie the movie catches up to itself. Larry is now leading the idiotic unit but they have moved beyond their hippi roots. Bill is called back in, he still has his lengthy hair looking as out of place as possible.

Lyn grows depressed in the movie because he misses the good ole days. He does not seem to have a purpose anymore. He never actually did. This entire unit is a waste of time and energy. But the Soviets can not monopolize the knowledge of the paranormal. This movie is preposterous but so is Dumb and Dumber. This movie is not nearly as funny as Dumb and Dumber and this movie is not an insult to the military either. It is not bashing the war on Iraq or the dangerous dictator who used to rule that country with an iron fist. This movie is innocent, absurd from its genesis.

The Men Who Stare at Goats does not finish strong though. The ending is pretty weak. It is hard to describe what happened. They released the goats they used to stare at with their death stares. Wilton gets his story and he carries the flame of this unit which accomplished nothing and satisfied no one but the nuts who were involved.

This movie promotes Twizzlers which I loath. The exceptional general in the Transformer's movies-Glenn Morshower-has a small role in this baseless film. He is Major Holtz and besides Wilton, is probably the only character in this film that has his head screwed on right.

I did laugh several times in the movie, so that affect and satisfaction is noteworthy.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

The Blind Side

2009-11-25T11:32:00.000-08:00

Sandra Bullock is actually in a movie that matters. It has been a while, ever since A Time to Kill which was also a southern movie. I think that was Memphis as well to.

This movie begins with two black guys being delivered to a rich private Christian school in a magnificent Memphis neighborhood. It is probably Germantown since my cousin lives there and I have been there. Quinton Aaron plays Michael Oher and he is the one of the kids that needs to attend a school. Not only does he not have a school, he apparently does not have a home. I do not understand who the black adult man is. He is never shown again that I could see. The other kid is never shown again either, he is smaller and academically sound. Michael is a far cry from that. His test scores are horrific but the football coach, Coach Cotton played by Ray McKinnon, sees an athletic future in this large, quick footed young man so he persuades the administrative decision makers to make this acception.

Michael begins school but he is years behind his fellow students and the teachers quickly realize this. Things change though when one teacher figures out he can deliver test information verbally. So his quizzes and tests from then on are oral. Michael helps clean up the school but this is what I am not sure about. Where does he live? This adult black male drives his son and Michael to this school but does not ever mention Michael needs a home. Does not arrange him to stay at a foster home? Does allow him to enter his home?

This is where Sandra Bullock enters the fray. She is Leigh Anne Touhy and she knows Michael from the school since she has seen him talk to her youngest son. He is S.J. Tuohy who is played by Jae Head. S.J. takes to Michael instantly. The Touhy's see Michael walking in the rain. Leigh orders her husband to stop the car and she walks out in the rain to have a heart to heart discussion with Michael. Michael informs her he is going to the gym but the gym is closed at night and at that time. Leigh realizes he does not have a home. Well, this can not be helping his homework and grade improvement prospects that is for sure.

So the Tuohy's just invite him in for he night. Michael is the most gentle soul and that night turns into several. He was about to leave the following morning after folding the blankets lake furniture store professional. Leigh persuades him to stick around though and share the day with them. Soon, Thanksgiving roles around and Michael has never had a meal that fulfilling and plentiful.

Tim McGraw stars in this movie. Though spending time with Sandra Bullock is a downrade from Faith Hill, I guess he decided to make a little extra money. What the heck. This is a semis high school football movie. To me, McGraw starred in the best High School Football this country has ever seen-Friday Night Lights was just sensational. McGraw was a husband in this solid movie, he is Sean Tuohy and the principal breadwinner. He owns several fast food restaurants, Taco Bell and KFC and what not. Leigh has a interior decorator business of some sort. They are well off.

Leigh helps get Michael his driver's license. She feeds him, buys him clothes, sets some of her friends straight over him, she helps him with his homework, etc. She is his MVP.

The Tuohy's buy him a black pick up truck. Michael is ecstatic but I think this is going a little bit too far. He has not shown a lot of responsibility in his life. Buying him a $25000 truck is a bit of a stretch. They have already shown their Christianity in the best way. They have taken him in and probably saved him from a future of darkness. Michael only wanted his DL for ID purposes. A few days later, S.J. pleads with his mother to allow Michael and him drive to the video game store to buy the new Madden football game. With Michael that far behind school, I would think video games would be far down on the list. How about learning how to type, use the Internet, reading some basic high school level novels, etc.? OK, he wants to have a little fun, I can see that.

On the way to the store, Michael and S.J. and singing a song and Michael is not paying close enough attention to the road. A flat bed pick up truck pulls out in front of them and a collision ensues. Leight is called and rushes to the scene. The ambulance or firefighter service worker is explaining to Leigh that S.J. is really lucky not have a broken neck because of his size. He should have been in the rear seat, the airbag is too powerful for someone of his small frame. He is just a child. Michael is distraught, not believing what he allowed to happen. It could have been exponentially worse. It is later revealed that Michael's strength prevented the airbag from bringing the full force onto S.J. upper torso. Michael's cuts on his right arm prove this.

The family enjoys having him around. Lily Collins is Collins Tuohy, their teenage daughter. She takes some heat at school from some of the punks because Michael is living with her and them but she handles it with maturity.

Michael is given the chance to practice with the football team in the spring. The football coach that put his full weight to allow Michael to be accepted is not the best communicator. Michael does not react well to being hollered at. Leigh goes onto the field, during one practice session, and explains to Michael what his role is as a left tackle. This helps briefly but he is still unprepared to play such a simple position-left tackle-by the time the first game roles around during the following fall. But after looking pretty bad in the first couple of possessions, Michael's game rapidly improves. His stock soars, and he becomes an All American. He plays big time college football and eventually is drafted by the Baltimore Ravens. I am sure Ray Lewis will like having him around.

This is solid movie. It is a movie of many different facets. This movie contains the concepts of faith, communication, values, kindness, societal classes, and much more. It is certainly a supreme Bullock movie who typically makes the most useless movies. But her southern charm and attitude in this movie is amazing. She carries this movie, along with Big Mike, oh I mean Michael. This movie has a lot of reality to it.

I allocate this movie four stars.****

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

2009-11-24T11:27:00.000-08:00

This is a perfect movie why the USA needs less entitlement programs. It is because people abuse them without any hope in helping society out. It is because too many dishonest people do not deserve the tax payer money they are requesting. In this movie, this girl's mother is not working and has not worked in years. Her despicable husband and her are in a terrible scam.

The daughter is Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe whose name is Precious. She is actually the antitheses of precious because she is about 100 pounds over weight and naturally ugly. She is raped by her father so she can have babies to be raised by her grandmother who seems to just maintain a hush hush attitude about this horrendous scheme. The mother collects welfare checks that continue to march upward for every dependant her daughter conceives.

Precious is illiterate and eventually runs away with the latest child. This is after a brutal fight with her fat, black mother. Her mother is a horrific woman and is a menace to society. She should be tossed into the middle of the Hudson River to become fish food.

DeJaVu's Paula Patton stars in this movie. She is the precious one. Ms. Rain is her name and she teaches Precious in her GED course. This is a continuation school for absolute losers. It reminds me of the losers I was surrounded by at Fern Bacon Middle School in south Sacramento. Precious is sent to this school after her Principal finds out that she is pregnant again with her 2nd child. Precious is only 16 but reads a 1st grade level. Patton works with her throughout the movie and gives her a reason to live. Ms. Rain even takes her in when Precious ditches her mother with her second child.

Precious's father eventually dies because he is HIV positive. Which he passed onto her. Overall, he is a nice fellow. Honestly, he is a piece of crap too and would make some organic and healthy fish food for the water life in the Hudson River.

Precious's mother does not even know when her birthday is.

Mariah Carey was in this movie but her role was limited. That bombshell is incredibly attractive. She is so lovely it is hard to contemplate. Beyonce Knowles will never be a Mariah Carey. Mrs. Weiss was her character's name but her impact was not felt at all.

This is a family movie of the worst kind. But these are the elements in American life. This is what is wrong with certain cultures in America. Precious's mother is not only a terrible woman she is also a blatant liar. How society created this beast is spectacular. A true product of American urban blight, a walking sociopath, a selfish human being not worth a piece of lint found on a comfortable couch. She has the audacity at this movie to blame her troubles on Precious. Precious defends herself in front of the social worker and calls her out.

Certain cultures tolerate this behavior as well. The behavior and white collar criminal intentions of the mother. In some cases, they are celebrated and envied. But that did not occur too much here. Precious's classmates, who were all female, felt sorry for her. The social worker put the breaks on her checks at the end. This was the climax. Her mother's fraudulent ways were blown up in her face. She should have to pay the money back. Precious mother will either be homeless soon or have to rejoin the workforce. Life is tough and she put herself into a terrible situation. She should be tossed into prison for an entire array of crimes. Notably child neglect, accomplice to rape, etc.

This movie is realistic. I think Barbara Boxer and Nanci Pilosi needs to see this movie. Their ignorance is profound and they allow these stories to occur by coddling entire communities and not promoting hard work and decency.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

2009-11-21T12:00:00.000-08:00

This is a sequel to the ridiculous original. I especially like the part where a vampire ran from Washington St. to Phoenix. Where is Blade when you need him. These movies are designed for teenagers, unlike the Supreme Underwold movies. But Underworld III was a massive disapointment. But no one in Twilight can match Kate Beckinsale or her character in those vampire movies.

Kristen Stewart returns as vampire lover Bella Swan. She is cute and madly in love. She was raised without faith so selling her soul is not that big of deal. She is in love with make up boy Edward Cullen. Robert Pattinson plays make up boy. I believe he wears so much make up for sun protection. But apparently none of the other students at the high school say anything about this.

This movie is a love triangle. Bella loves make up boy and is spending a lot of time thinking about him. Then Jacob Black enters the fray. Where he comes from I am not sure. He is Indian, which tribe, the movie shines away from that information. Jake is played by Taylor Lautner. Jake knows Bella from the area and has been attending another school. Jake is a couple of years younger than Bella.

Bella's life falls apart when make up boy decides to run for the hills. He thinks hanging out with Bella puts her into an unsafe position. She is unhealthily depressed in the fall and into the winter. Her nightmares are intense. Her father, Charlie Swan, played by Billy Burke wants to ship her off to Jacksonville to hang out with her mother. Not a bad idea. He should have forced the deal or intervened before she fell head over heels with make up boy. She sits alone like a weirdo during lunch, in the cafeteria. She is wasting her senior year.

Jake gave her a symbol which prevents her from having a bad dreams. It does not work well since when make up boy is out of the picture her nightmares are violent and loud. This is when we first see them together in the first third of the movie, when she accepts this gift. The middle third is the Jake time. That is what I have dubbed it.

Bella acquires some beat up motor bikes and her and Jake spend about a month fixing them up. Jake seems to be pretty crafty with tools and his mechanical prowess is amazing. Who bought the new parts is not mentioned. Neither of them are flush with cash it seems. Why he does not play football or any other team sport is bewilderding. Perhaps his grades are not above the 2.0 threshold. Moving forward, after fixing the bikes they take them to a flat area to ride them. Neither of them are bright enough to buy a helmet. This is the point in the movie where Bella is going through a strange state of mind. She seems to want to test her limits, challenge her fears and become a borderline daredevil. Her friend warns her of this dangerous and risky behavior. Bella is just bizaare, someone who can not control her emotions.

Jake and her are moving forward and she begins to fall for Jake. But then Jake departs from the scene. Again, Bella is destraught. Here we go again. It is revealed soon that Jake can turn into a wolf, along with 3 of his native American buddies. It is insinuated that they turn him into a wolf. These wolves protect the northwest population from the vampires. Jake and his boys are not wherewolves, but just giant wolves. Even so, they are just as powerful as any wherewolf Hollywood has produced, besides the cartoon one in the udicrous Van Helsing film. In Twilight, they have the strength of a lion or beyond, the speed of a NASCAR race car, the nocturnal sense of their observable kind, the scent of X-Men's Wolverine or a bloodhound, and have apparently worked out a truce with the vampires. The vampires know they are always being scrutinized by the wolves. Where the wolves were in the first film is beyond me. Perhaps working in an Indian Casino on the reservation.

Ashley Greene was the hottest in the film. She should have been showed more. She is make up boy's brother. She plays Alice Cullen. Alice and Bella link up. So now it is about February. Ashley is amazing, she should have been in more parts. Oh, I said this already. Bella is cute and that is about it. Alice informs Bella that make up boy is in Italy and is depressed. Apparently the vampire order has their headquarters in the vicinity of the pope. Jake tries to prevent Bella from leaving but Bella still has ridiculous feelings for make up boy. Make up boy is thinking of jumping into the sunlight it seems. The plane ticket to Italy must have been paid for by Alice.

Bella arrives at the vampire castle or lair to save make up boy from trying to get a tan. The vampire leadership tries to persuade make up boy from trying to get a sun tan without using sunblock. OK, Bella arrives, but the presiders of this order want to speak to her and make up boy. This discussion turns violent since they decide to eliminate Bella for knowing too much. Make up boy attempts to defend her. Somehow, they all return to the Northeast. This was the climax. It was terrible. There was still 15 minutes left in the movie and this involved some talking and walking. The final scene, make up boy proposes to Bella since if he bites her that would violate the standing trust. Wow, this was a massive calamity. This entire movie was a miscalculation. The screenplay was unimpressive, the movie was just uneventful. It was not exciting and the climax was a blip in most other movies.

I was hoping that Blade would come and slay these vampires to end this agony. This movie just shoots itself in the foot. It does show the emotional instability of teenage girls though. I am not sure if this should be broadcasted though.

I can not say the original was better since that was hilarious as well. This movie did have some vampires with some wicked red eyes though. How they walk around in pulic with those is another question. These movies are designed for the female teenager. This movie had scene after scene with a bare chested male. For males, looking at Bella was similiar to looking at some guy bare chested, Stewart is nothing to stop traffic over.

The musical score was weak. The plot was deplorable. The writing was miserable. It was still better than Nicolas Cage's Wicker Man though.

I allocate this movie one star.*

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

2009-11-16T09:37:00.000-08:00

This is a movie based on another movie apparently with the same title. I am not sure why they decided to remake it, there is nothing magnanimous or life changing about it. But this does not mean it is not entertaining or well played out.

Michael Douglas is the district attorney (DA) in this somewhat riveting courtroom drama. He is Mark Hunter and he is on fire. He is convicting criminal after criminal or suspect after suspect. This is great, is it not? The film takes place in Shreveport, LA. and the voters there are following this charismatic DA in droves. He is on his way to become governor. But is he honest and is he convicting the right criminals?

A slick and energetic investigative reporter is C.J. Nicholas. Jesse Metcalfe plays this C.J. Nicholas who is willing to risk it tall to prove a powerful point that has many people's lives in check whether they know it or not. His career is on track until he is pulled over by his supervisor. They are cutting his investigative team and placing him under general assignment. Which means his job became more mainstream and not as exciting. Whatever, he has a job and he should be happy with that. I am not sure he has seen how many people in this planet are hurting under socialist policies. He does reveal his plan or hunch to his supervisor but since he does not have substantial proof that the DA is planting evidence, his supervisor is not willing to risk the network's reputation on something that is not stickyproof. See Dan Rather if one is not sure what I mean.

The Grudge 2's Amber Tamblyn stars in this movie. In fact, her character takes over when Nicholas screws up. Her character is Ella Crystal and she falls in love with Nicholas. Tamblyn is attractive but this movie, certainly in the beginning, act like she is Jennifer Love Hewitt, Kayla Murphy or Olguita Villalobos. Tamblyn is not on the level or caliber of any of these females and I noticed this in Grudge 2 as well. She should not have been the star in that movie either. Grandma's Boy Joel Moore is Nicholas's best friend Corey Finley and in the movie's outset informs Nicholas that she is out of his league. She is Tamblyn ofcourse, they must be seeing something that I am not. Credit should be given when it is deserved.

Nicholas has this plan all figured out. He enlists Moore on this grand plan who is also his work partner in their short lived and fledgling two man investigative reporting unit. That is why he pleads with him to shoot for the stars, bring down the DA, and possibly win a pulitzer. So they wait for the right type of murder and Nicholas implicates himself. It is not uncommon for him to arrive at a murder scene after the police and report the story. They want a homicide where their is evidence but it is not a slam dunk case. Primeval's Orlando Jones is Detective Ben Nickerson. He accepts season tickets to the Saints games, I am assuming from Nicholas for the evidence compiled for this case. Nicholas wants this so he can buy the right clothes and items needed to implicate himself in the crime. Nickerson is the lead detective until Hunter has a corrupt detective assume the lead detective's role. This lead detective has been planting evidence, like a cigarette butt from a suspect, then they toss this into evidence, with the suspect's fingerprints, and frame the suspect. They use the DNA to convict some random suspect which fits the profile somewhat.

Well, during the trial, Nicholas is prepared to frame the DA but his aloof friend Finley did not make enough copies of the tape. In fact, he is killed returning to the court room with the disc that is needed to prove Nicholas's theory. Hunter's main man, the lead detective, kills Finley in a car chase. How this worked out in Hunter's favor is pure luck. But Nicholas and Finley only made two copies? Are you kidding me? I would have made 7 copies and hid 3 of them in places no one would find. I would give two away to trusting folks as well and keep two in close proximity. Nicholas should have hidden some copies as well. Come on now.

Nicholas makes the accusations against the DA that he is framing people and that he implicated himself but he has only two receipts from items bought after the murder to run on. He put it out there but Hunter is shrewed and says Nicholas could have bought the rare sneackers before the murder and the sweat pants prior as well. Nicholas's advances are thwarted. Nicholas begins to perspire.

Well, Nicholas is convicted and sentenced to death row. Now it is Ella's turn. She starts to dig up evidence. She visits some technical experts and they realize and prove that the cigarette picture in the crime scene photo was added after the fact. Shortly thereafter, Ella is almost run down and possibly would have been if it was not for Nickerson. Nickerson had been following the DA's law enforcement and corrupt partner and shot him up in the parking garage. The tide has turned.

With this evidence that Ella uncovers and the fact that a star detective was trying to kill a DA prosecutor at the behest of the DA, this is no good. The wolves begin to howl and the arrows point at Hunter.

The problem with this is all those convictions by Hunter will be overturned. They will have to be reinvestigated. All those families will have to go through the pain again. Now their loved one's murderer has actually been lose. Also, the convicts being released are not actually truly innocent, not really kind neighborly folks. But they should not in prison for a crime they did not committ either.

Nicholas is not an Abraham Lincoln either. Not even close. He eliminates a black woman who was black mailing him. Why was she blackmailing Nicholas? Because Nicholas made some special documentary, but he fabricated it. The destitute black woman was blackmailing Nicholas. So Nicholas decides to kill two birds with one stone. Not even his best friend knew that Nicholas actually killed this woman. Ofcourse he did not. This is the crime he uses to fool the system and toss the entire book at the DA. Ella puts the pieces together, Nicholas thought his grand schemed bagged the girl of his dreams and would give him a story that would end all stories. He can be cell mates with Hunter now. Ella calls the police and walks out.

This was a decent movie. There were not any wasted scenes. The ending was surprising. It was an intense movie and that parking lot chase seen was interesting. Watching that car skid around the cement column was unique and exciting. This was one of the better court room dramas I have seen in a while. But it was not nearly as good as The International or Body of Laws, lets be realistic.

I allocate this movie 3 stars.***

The Fourth Kind

2009-11-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

The first kind is when someone sees a UFO. The second kind is when someone can prove a UFO was present. The third kind is when an alien is seen. The fourth kind is when the aliens abduct someone. This is what is described in the movie. I was confused since I thought the first two kinds were male and female.

I thought Fire In the Sky was more convincing. Although this movie may have been more frightening. This movie involved a lot of hysterical screaming, extremely violent. Like Paranormal Activity, it was not that long but The Fourth Kind was much harder to follow.

Milla Jovovich is the star of the movie and she chooses the craziest movies. I hope these bizaare character choices do not end up having irreparable damage. Abbey Tyler is her name and I am not sure who the real Abbey Taylor is. This movie bounces back continuously with supposedly actual footage. It is disturbing which detracts from the movie. Only about 10 minutes of the film is actually smooth dialogue without crazy pictures.

Tyler is a psychologist who has already lost her husband to suicide. Her son blames her and his younger sister does not understand. It is a brutal situation.

Tyler puts a client under submission and this person begins to scream violently. Later on that night, this man holds his family hostage but seems to be possessed during this tirade. He is speaking in a language that is difficult to gauge. Tyler is unable to pacify him so he subsequently shoots himself after unloading on his family.

Remember the Titans and Armegeddon's Will Patton is Sheriff August. He does not believe Tyler's story on anything and wants to arrest her more than once in this story. It seems that her patients have a tendency to act psychotic after seeing her. Basically, she is not helping them but escalating their issues. What is their issues? They seem to see an owl at night which stairs at them. OK, why don't they shut cover or screen off the window? I guess this is too logical. None of these people have a dog. I would shoot any animal that was staring at me this wickedly. And if I knew someone who said this was happening to them I would be over there for support and protection.

This movie takes place in Nome, Alaska. Nome has had an extraordinary amount of UFO sightings in the past few decades. It has also seen its share of missing people cases. But I went to the website of Nome and saw the picture of the wonderful little down. I did not see that many trees for some owl to perch on. Also, this movie looked more like the Seattle, Washington area with all those trees and lush green vegetation. Nome appears in the picture as an area that is not inundated with trees. I did not do any extensive research, but Wikipedia did not say anything about any abductions in Nome. Upon further research, I uncovered this: "But state licensing examiner Jan Mays says she can’t find records of an Abigail Tyler ever being licensed in any profession in Alaska." This is by Kyle Hopkins, khopkins@adn.com, http://community.adn.com/adn/node/143292

24's Colonel Iké Dubaku is in this movie. Which was humorous and cool. He is Hakeem Kae-Kazim in reality but Awolowa Odusami in this movie. He is an expert in Sumerian languages and history. Sumerian language is obsolete but according to this movie the evil alien entity hung out with those aliens, has not learned English yet, influenced the Sumerians enough so now they are no longer around, and basically forced them to paint pictures of them. These aliens are pretty selfish and some of this is similiar to Paranormal Activity, especially dealing with the people being dragged or trying to be dragged out of their rooms. In particular to Tyler.

OK, so Tyler and the police do not get a long. Odusami seems to have flown in to help Tyler with this bizaare case(s). He helps her translate the Sumerian language that was spitting out vehemenently Sumerian vernacular. Soon thereafter, a man she just hypnotized in the office becomes possessed and ends up breaking his neck as he was taken over by this entity while sleeping or napping in this bedroom. What this movie does is, someone is just sleeping and there is not any build up, the human just shouts in a massive sound, almost beyond what the human lungs are capable of, in total climax. This seems like it would be a considerable strain on our body and it is.

Tyler's good friend is Abel Campos played by Elias Koteas. He prevents her from being arrested by August after her client is crippled from the neck down. The sheriff orders her to remain inside right before she was going to ship her kids off to North Carolina. She should have told the sheriff to take her children. I thought of this immediately. August leaves one of his deputies to watch the house. About 2 hours later, the deputy notices something bright in the tree near her home. As he gets out of the car, I thought he was going to get wasted. But the daughter is abducted. So the cavalry returns. Tyler is hysterical, August believes she was in on it.

The movie goes even more haywire. There is a series of shouting between her and the alien entity. Someone is translating her voice and this alien speaking an ancient language. This movie also jumps back and forth with Tyler being diagnosed or having a conversation with a psychologist. She is explaining to him the series of events, her daughter is still missing. The alien entity would not give up the daughter. This is how the movie ends with Milla Jovovich and another actor detailing to the viewer that this has been real footage and we should believe what we want. After my research and natural skepticism, I think this is a hoax.

I believe Fire In the Sky was more credible since it did not try to betray an entire community. The people of Nome fight this movie off and the psychologist Tyler never even existed in Alaska. I do not like it when movies try to lie and scare people. Stephen King does not even do this for instance and he is a true weirdo. But a wonderful tale yearner.

Paranormal Activity is far superior to this film.

Hakeem Kae-Kazim was the best actor. He should have had additional lines.

I allocate this movie one star.*

2012

2009-11-14T10:57:00.000-08:00

This is one movie where they needed more runway. Some of the main characters were in serious trouble with the lack of runway in LA, Las Vegas, China and perhaps another location I am overlooking.

This is another disaster movie. It is not any better than the rest, it is just longer. It is built on the same premise and sequences as The Day After Tomorrow. It has the same tempo. Character introduction, life issues, family situations, and dire warnings. This time the president does something, in Tomorrow they hesitated. Both movies knocked the current sitting president, respectively. Which in this case, for Hollywood to toss any slight towards Obama is impressive and bold enough in this politically correct world.

John Cusack is one of the standout characters in this movie. He is a former writer turned limo driver named Jackson Curtis. He seems to be able to get things done. His ex-wife is Kate Curtis played by Amanda Peet. Inside Man's Chiwetel Ejiofor is one of the heroes as well, he is Dr. Adrian Helmsley who is the Dennis Quaid of this movie. Mission Impossible II's Thandie Newton is here. She is still skinny and basically unappealing. She is Laura Wilson, daughter of President President Thomas Wilson played by Predator II's Danny Glover. Glover is noble in this movie unlike in reality where he stands by spitfire, rabble rouser, two bit dictators like Hugo Chavez. A Time to Kill's Oliver Platt makes his presence known. He is the chief scientist who starts out honorable but looks pretty bad in the end. Ofcourse he has a tough call to make at the climax. He is Carl Anheuser and quickly takes a liking to Helmsley. The crazy Randy Quaid character, from Independence Day, in this movie is none other than a former bartender named Woody Harrelson. He is Yosemite's Charlie Frost who has his own radio show, is following the government's movements and who lives in a camper in the middle of the forest. How he pays for food is unknown. But he is not walking around in Abercrombie and Fitch's latest gear either.

This movie has the same tempo, the same flow as The Day After Tomorrow. It is just another 30 minutes longer. In Deep Impact, our government had a massive shelter built. In this movie, there is massive ships built that mainly float but seem to be able to operate a little like submarines. They can take a pounding and seem to be able to hold several thousand people each. The top governments of the world, perhaps the G20, are in the need to know. Each government has chosen, with the help of geneticists, they have cultivated the strongest and healthiest people to begin anew. The day of reckoning has come.

The Day After Tomorrow was about global warming. So that was an environmentalist dream show despite it being total hogwash. 2012 had the same absurdity accept it was just a natural phenomenon. It was not explained well, it was explained in tidbits. Frost and Helmsley provided this critical information. The Mayans were mentioned with their apocalyptical predictions about the year 2012 being the end of the world. Or atleast as we know it. The plot behind this movie was that the planets would be aligned, sucking extra heat from the sun, which would heat up our core, and cause the surface of the planet to become unglued. Something like that. Yosemite turned into the largest volcano in the world according to Frost. According to what I have read, it would be Yellowstone to watch out for though. Frost dies where he lived and loved. But Frost had the map that Curtis sought, Frost knew the governments were building something massive in China. Apparently, not even aircraft carriers were safe in the oceans. Considering one plundered onto the top of the Nations Capital building because a massive tital wave just picked it up and dumped like it was a child's play toy.

Like The Day After Tomorrow, the events just happened so quick. Very little warning, which is just absurd. Mother Nature does not change that quickly, it takes decades and perhaps centuries for massive change. The world has never changed that dramatically in that short amount of time. It is pure fantasy, about as realistic as Harry Potter. The world loses about 4.5 billion people in The Day After Tomorrow. 2012 out does that, it seems about 6 billion people would die if the surface of earth becomes as gooey and solid as play doe. There could be some survivors in Kansas City perhaps, and other cities. This movie had the poles shifting, Wisconsin would be the new south pole. At the finality, they were headed to The Cape of Good Hope. The cataclysmic changes make this the landmass to seek, it was not the new roof of the world.

This movie did not show any animals dying which is what would have happened. There would be mass extinctions. Even whales would not have been able to dive deep or fast enough to avoid waves like that. Hawaii was obliterated in fire and ash and lava. Frost's cartoon video he made up had a small cartoon Tyrannosaurus Rex utter something like: "here we go again." But this is not what wiped out the dinosaurs, it was a asteroid that smashed into the Yucatan Peninsula. And even that did not wipe out the dinosaurs in a matter of moments.

Curtis was with his family and Kate's boyfriend in an escape scene in LA where they barely escaped. It was just a pile of explosions and crashes as the earth just picked up part of LA and dumped it on another. The characters were in a small airplane that would not have taken that long to gain altitude and they flew by a number of falling buildings. They made LA seem like Hong Kong and Houston combined, why could not they not just fly in a steeper gradient I do not know.

This movie was was decent. It was not boring. I would like to have seen a massive mound of sand being moved around. There are masses of sand in the middle of the Arabian peninsula for instance.

When did this movie knock the sitting president? In the middle of this so called epic, Helmsley was speaking to his father who was on a cruise ship since he is a jazz musician and Helmsley told his father they have ordered the White House to be cleaned out. His father replies, "it is about time they clean out that house." Not bad, I wish Obama would be cleaned out too. The sooner the better.

In end, what was this movie about? There was some honor and devotion tossed. Some hard work, but this was the epitome of a movie with mindnumbing and pulsating action without end and point.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

The Box

2009-11-12T12:28:00.000-08:00

I would like to have seen Cyclops just blast that alien with his laser beam. X-Men was more realistic than this movie. This movie also, like others, dragged in the bloody nose to denote something ominous. How original.

This was a pretty earie movie but the ending was excruciating to sit through. Not as bad as Wickerman though. It occurs in Richmond, VA. I think this was a Twilight Zone episode about 25 years ago. Cameron Diaz was in this movie. Like Gwyneth Paltrow, I do not see the appeal with this woman. She is not that cute, certainly primarily because of her face. So how does she star in movies? That is a bigger mystery than this movie. She is Norma Lewis who is married Arthur Lewis. X-Men's James Marsden is Arthur. Arthur is a NASA materials engineer and Norma is a High School teacher.

One of the first scenes consists of Norma being either duped or manipulated by a punk male student into taking her shoe off. She is missing four toes because a doctor failed to turn off the radiation in some sort of exam. She ended up losing four toes because of it. Regardless, it was a freak accident and the subsequent lawsuit only garnered $10,000. The doctor neglect a basic attention to detail formality. Because of this, she walks with a slight limp. Right when this smart ass student ask her a personal question in front of everyone, she should have demanded that personal questions are rude and out of the question. This was in 1975. She could have told the student that his parents would be receiving a phone call. Back in 1975, most parents were actually parents rather than trying to be the coolest parents in the school.

This movie is about a regular family, not moving ahead in the world but one that does not a miss meal. In the beginning, Norma states to a co worker they are living paycheck to paycheck. I find this strange though since on more than one occasion they are attending some luxurious parties with formal attire. I guess they are there for some free grub. But the present buying balanced that out. Why they hire a baby sitter for their son who appears to be about 12 is beyond me? Why they can not just send him to a friend's home if there is any concern is another consideration to contemplate.

The plot of this movie is about a box delivered a family's doorstop. Later on in the day, a man appears in front of the house when Arthur is at work. Norma invite him in after he asks, she concedes and indicates her southern charm and hospitality. In the present day, he would not have been allowed entry and would not assume he would be let in. Frank Langella is Arlington Steward and he is one ugly bird. He informs Norma that he was struck by lightning. The family has already opened the box and seen that it has a red button. This button can not be pressed since it is shielded by a glass case. Steward gives her a key to this case and informs her that if they press the button someone they do not know will die. They will also receive $1 million. They can not inform anyone about this situation and they have one day to decide. In addition, he gives her a $100 bill just to enhance the genuiness of this arrangement, Norma, like Eve from genesis, presses the button a few minutes before the deadline.

Steward appears, walks in, and hands them the cash. He takes the box and key and departs. But not after there is short confrontation, Arthur demands he take the money back. Steward rebuffs this demand. Arthur memorizes the license plate as Stewart is driven off. Norma and Arthur walk back inside. They do not have too much time to consider what to do since their son quickly arrives shortly thereafer. Arthur quickly hides the money in the basement safe.

Norma and Arthur are just overwhelmed by what has occured. Norma's guilt begins to weigh in on her. They could donate the money to a charity. This could possibly erode some of that guilt Norma is feeling. Arthur has a friend who is a detective who he sees later on that night or the next at a Christmas party. He gives him the license plate number. The next day or so, Arthur is at this detective's office and realizes a woman was murdered at the same time his wife pressed the button.

The movie gets creepy after this. Independence Day and Meet the Parent's James Rebhorn is in this movie. His character's name is Norm Cahill and he is Arthur's NASA supervisor. Norm is not happy that the NSA begins to dictate what NASA does on some of its missions. So he is told a story about a NASA launch sequence where Steward is hit by lightning. That is right, Steward used to work for NASA. Steward was killed but he came back to life after being declared dead. Norm is told that Steward is different and is changed in some peculiar manner. Steward quickly begins to demonstrate incredible feats with his mind. The movie does not explain too much after this. In several scenes, he has some large and strange moving machine in an airplane hanger. He also uses sets up shop in a hotel outside of the city.

Steward is watching and keeping tabs on both Arthur and Norma. For instance, right when Arthur gives the license plate number to his detective friend, Steward knew about it and called Arthur at the party he was attending.

Steward can manipulate people with his mind. He says his employer several times in the movie. Who is the employer? Is it God or an alien entity? The box is testing the level of greed and selfishness of humanity. Steward says, or his controller, since he is really just a vessel, that if humanity does not start doing better on these tests, his employer may decide to move in on humanity.

So, at another Christmas party, this time the entire family is attending, Steward returns to torment the Lewis's. I thought Arthur was on the verge of tracking down Steward and the movie seemed to be on the right track. Arthur walked outside of the party and he was taken at gun point by some other guy. This man said his wife already died, he told him that Steward operates out of the hotel, this man said Steward can be killed, uses the hotel pool as a dimension worm hole or transport hub, and had a book explaining human exploitation. But they were duped by a Santa Clause standing in the middle of the road, rather than drive around, they stopped and staired when a huge truck collided with them on the driver's side. This is right after his son is taken and wife is smuggled away outside the party. His son was just running on this pier in this lake, at night, I am not sure where he thought he was going.

The movie gets depressing after this. A huge let down. They are back in the home, it is the following day. The son is upstairs locked in the bathroom. Steward is at their kitchen table. Arthur and Norma walk down there endless hallway and sit down to speak to him. They have been in another world for the second time now. Stewart gives them two options. He informs them their son is upstairs in the bathroom after being transported their via water, he is deaf and blind. Arthur can shoot his wife and his son will gain back his senses. Or they can shoot their son. Arthur wants to shoot Steward but Steward just says he can be replaced. This movie is agonizing at this point. A terrible ending. Almost unwatchable. I would not advocate this movie because of this.

Norma, her guilt on pressing the button in the first place is tearing her apart. Now her son is maimed, or severaly disabled. She pleads to Arthur to stop trying to break down the door. It is locked. The walk downstairs, hug and cry in anguish and he shoots her in the chest. The son regains his senses but the police are called. There goes Arthur.

The ending was unbearable. The last fifteen minutes was just tormenting. The movie did not have one enlightening moment. It was as bad as Keanu Reeves's film last year The Day the Earth Stood Still.

I allocate this movie one star.*

The Informant!

2009-11-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

This is one guy who does not think things through. This movie occurs around 1993 to 1995. The center of this storm is a fictional company on par with DuPont. They make food chemicals and flavoring. They are instrumental in the prices of food world wide. Too bad they have a Vice President with a chemistry background who is bipolar.

Matt Damon is the main character. He is Mark Whitacre who has made it in the corporate world. He has marched up many steps and accomplished a great deal. But he has a psychosis that leads him astray. He begins informing the FBI that his company is manipulating prices of foods in an illegal way. He begins to fabricate information that his company is price rigging their products. He sets up meetings with foreign competition and tries to implicate them in the manner of collusion. He is totally in the realm of delusions of granduer. He does this believing he is rooting out the vernom when in reality he is the one setting everyone up.

Now, there is some bribery going on that he is not the only one a party of. Him and several executives at the company accept bribes from vendors and potential customers. Mark has accepted over $7 million in bribes and rather than just quit his job, move away, retire, get out of potential danger, he weaves his own web which implicates him. He was hoping to be a witness in a huge white collar maelstrom but he was the main ring leader. Soon, he can not be the informant he was aiming to me, he is a defendant.

Mark is under some fictional cloud that he will surf through this conspiracy unscathed. This is not true, even if he was a proper informant the Board of Directors is not going to hand the reigns of the company over to a rat. This is what he is hoping. He tells the FBI that his parents have been killed when he was just a child and that is an orphan with a rich father. His prior research indicated that people give more leeway and sympathy to someone who was an orphan. He has been lying for years, apparently he did earn his degree(s) and did some fine work in the research and development division. He was promoted many times and did learn the business side of the company. His company did elevate him to VP. How did this happen? No one knows.

Mark's diabolical scheme blows up in his face. His wife believed him, that is even more bizaare. Mark is sentenced to 9 years in prison where he claims to have a piece of mind. He says his sleep at night is quite pleasant. He earns his law degree and educates himself even further in the area of bipolar disorders. After he is finally released, 6 years after a couple of his former executives who were rung up on bribery charges, he informs Federal prosecutors that he actually embezzled over $11 million. He told them before on record it was about $9 million. But there is not much else they can do, he served his time. So he does have some money to fall back on. It is sitting in a Swiss account or some bank in the Caribean.

This movie was clever. I did not know the extent of his tails. I did know he would not be able to work at his company after turning traitorous on them.

Shawshank Redemption's Clancy Brown is Aubrey Daniel who is one of the company's lawyers. He is one of them who has a fine laugh when they realize Mark was lying. When Mark is lying, they have the proof in some papers he forged. Clancy's role in this movie was humorous, not at all sinister like it was in that unforgettable 1994 Stephen King story/movie.

This movie did not have any special music. It was nothing on George Clooney's Michael Clayton for instance. But it was original and shrewdly woven.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Julie & Julia

2009-11-06T05:54:00.000-08:00

This is a movie only a mother would love. This is a good movie though. I would not advise watching this movie on an empty stomach. This movie revolves around food and cooking. And not any type of food, some of the best food combinations that can be contemplated by the human mind.

Meryl Streep is Julia Child who was tearing up the world in her patient and slow moving way in the late 1940's and the early 1950's. Well, this movie begins in 1949 in France. Child is married or gets married to an American ambassador named Paul Child. Stanley Tucci plays this part. Streep just dwarfs him, he is not a large fellow. I still remember back in the olden days when Hollywood gave this guy the international assassin role in the Denzel and Juia movie-The Pelican Brief. Tucci is as plain looking as light green grass in my hometown of Sacramento.

Streep's voice is as annoying as Harrison Ford's voice in K19. That is for sure. It is a contradiction in terms because she is suppose to be down to earth and the French people she is surrounded by are the haughty and pedantic ones. Especially the cooking school's manager in Paris. Julia wants a hobby, she has an interest in cooking but she wants to develope this skill. The female French school manager is so dainty and unimpressed with Julia, she does everything she can to have her walk out of the door. It reminds me of a little of some the Asian leaders who did not want Bruce Lee teaching secret Chinese fighting techniques to the masses. Why this this French school administrator wants to turn away paying business is baffling to me. But Julia is determined and her husband is not destitute. She pays the fee.

Julia Childs goes on to become a cooking connoisseur. The movie bounces back and forth showing the challenges and tribulations of each woman, respective of their worlds and generations. It goes from the modern era to the early 1950's. Julie Powell is in her prime in the modern era and she has always enjoyed cooking. Amy Adams is the actress who plays in this true life story. She follows the recipes of Julia and while she is doing this she blogs about it. Chris Messina is her fictional husband, his given name is Eric Powell. Eric is the main breadwinner of this small household in New York. They do not have a child and Julie works in a call center. It Eric's idea to incorporate a blog into the challenges and enjoyment of cooking every Julia Child's recipies. He feels the agony and journey of this lengthy feat should be documented and recorded. Good idea. Julie is not as Internet savvy. This is what they do, this is their journey. They have the money and invest in buying the high quality foods and ingredients it requires for everyone of these fascinating dishes.

Julia has her challenges. Her husband is an ambassador so they face the burden of relocating. Julia loves Paris and basis a lot of her cooking on French patterns and tastes. I am sure there is an American taste tossed in. This seems strange to me considering how the French cooking school administrator treats her. But French cooking and certainly their breads are world reknown. One person can not overcome the great food which emanates from France.

Julie has her issues too. After a few months of concentrating on her blog and recieving a small following on her blog, her husband uses the word narcistic to describe her. I am not sure where this comes from. Her beloved hobby could turn into a small money stream and he gets to eat everyone one of her incredible creations. This is a man's heaven? These home cooked winning plates would be some of the highest value in some of the finest New York City restaurants. Eric runs away for a week or so but realizes they can work this out. Julie's local fame begins to grow a little bit and she receives a local newspaper interview. Then it is the New York Times-which is on the verge of bankruptcy because of their liberal bias-and then she receives book offers. Her cooking has morphed her into a writer.

This movie tossed in a little history. They demonized McCarthy again but this was just a short sidenote. Paul is interrogated by some Federal agents on a witch hunt but he is always supportive of his wife's endeavors. Julia cooked all day, she became a cooking instructor of her own and when they returned to America, she cooked on a television show. She became an inspiration. She certainly inspired Julie but it turned out she did not care for Julie's attempt and growing fame many years later. Was this jealousy or did she spend too much time in France? Perhaps Julia forgot how she was treated when she first wanted to learn how to cook. Either the former or the latter.

Julia's recipes were written down as well, obviously. She had hundred's of them and this ran her into trouble when publishing agents said this would have to be cut down. When she was willing to do this and chose a better title to her work, a publishing company was finally able to mass produce her book. Julia did not have to work full time like Julie since in her era, a husband's income was usually enough for a comfortable middle income existence. It did not seem like they had children, they did not, so she could spend a majority of her time shopping for the best foods and ingredients. Something Julie could relate too. Both woman set out to help regular woman, mothers, make fine dinners without that much struggle or stress.

I would not never sit through this movie again and did not really sit through at all. I never laughed but this is not a Vince Vaughn comedy. It was pleasant and I was sad a little when it ended. Julie never did meet Julia but she did show her some respects at an exhibit of Julia's by leaving her some of her best food ingredients: a bar of butter.

The music of this movie did fit the style and feeling of this movie. It is not something I would buy but does flow well.

Back to butter. Butter is too fattening to me. But I remember poor mounds of butter on some cinnamon roles when I was in the navy since I wanted to make my shipmates fat. I was not a mess specialist but I had this once chance and this is what I did.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Black Dynamite

2009-11-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

This could be the funniest black movie since I Am Going To Get You Sucka. This movie had the dynamic characters and a full ensemble. There were many different personalaties. The main question I have is where did Michael Jai White come from? Why has it taken him so long to reach stardom? If he could fight this good, he should have been given high caliber roles a long time ago. Jason Statham has been making action packed blockbusters for many years now. I would like to see these two pair up or battle it out in a action movie. White has not been given a role with as much monetary support as Statham has but he can prove he can fight with the best of them.

White plays Black Dynamite (BD) in this movie. This movie is not that complicated. There is many different focal points in this movie. They toss in some urban politics, a Vietnam segment which is hilarious, some Black Panther bones, a shot highlighting the Italian Mafia, corrupt politicians, easily persuaded voters, inner city blight, and extensive action. This movie was a spoof, it was not actual action. It was obvious it was exagerrate and comical from the outset. Regardless, the main character needed to know how to fight and White has proven he can do this.

This movie bounced all over. It started out in LA with a man being shot. That man turned out to be BD's brother. BD is notified of this news by his aunt while he is beating up some Asians in some sort of goofy training session he conducts in his own home. How this is training is just an example of the movie being ridiculous. BD recalls the promise he made to his mother about protecting his little brother. So BD sets to find out what happened and who is responsible.

Along the way, he meets Tasty Freeze and his gang. Tasty Freeze is played by Arsenio Hall. He is seem to the leader of the pimps in LA. BD notifies them that he does not want them selling drugs in the neighborhoods. What tilts this wheel is when he finds out that even children at the orphanage were being sold drugs. Where they received the money is another story. BD was raised in an orphanage so this touches home. This movie like to show imagas from the past, not just relying on the spoken description from BD. So BD stomps out the drugs in all of South Central LA. Which is absurd but this is pure fantasy.

One of the main villians in the movie is John Kerry who plays a Mafia Chief. This Mafia barron is the one who is distributing drugs and supplying it to the local dealers. BD never deals with this organized villian, so this here is a slight void left in the script. BD accumulates some help in fighting this societal menace from the Black Panthers. In reality, and currently, the Black Panthers are a societal menace. BD and his cohorts interrogate a white man, it did not look like Kerry, so I am certain this hole was never given a plug.

BD did confront a bad crew in a pool hall ran by Chicago Wind. Wind is played by Mykelti Williamson. BD knocks out these thugs and then forces Wind to run his car off a cliff outside of LA. BD just goes around, he is even shot up point blank by two mafia hitmen in his brother's apartment and basically is unscathed. He was shot in the upper left torso but he just shrugs it like he is Predator or something. BD does seek medical attention but that is mainly to see an attractive nurse and subsequently receives a scolding from the doctor.

While BD and his allies storm a staging point for the mafia and their drugs, they find dozens of crates with Malt Liquor instead. They realize this Malt Liquor is designed to make a black man's penis smaller. No joke, they even show this with one of BD's obese friends in this place of residence. Disgusting. BD shoots him while he is in a stupor since it he is better off being dead. This takes this motivated crew to an island off the coast of LA which I believe is called Catalina but the movie gives it a fictional name. They have a little boat scene here.

This is where the movie takes a Commando twist. But martial arts returns as BD's Black Panther bad asses are killed off by the Fiendish Dr. Wu. Roger Yuan is the second in command in this criminal conspiracy. Wu can fight by also seems to be a wizard with a chemistry set. BD beats the information out of him after he defeats him in a Kung Fu death match. BD and one of his contributers who survived fly off the island in a helicopter after firing hellfire and stinger missiles to eliminate this devious chemical contraption and solution.

BD is on a mission. He flies all the way across the nation to the "Honkey House." He shoots and crushes the Secret Service. The villian in the office is Richard Nixon
played by James McManus. Nixon apparently is the baddest fighter on the planet besides BD. BD was never really challenged by Dr. Wu like I thought he would be. Nixon gets two good licks into BD but this is not enough to bring BD down. BD is strong on top of being able to fight with the best skills any human could possibly master. Nixon goes down but BD spares him. BD has dirt on Nixon, some slimy dirt with some gorgeous woman in some precious positions. This is no good for a sitting president or any man with clout who is married. This threat instantly sinks in. BD orders Nixon to get this Malt Liquor out of the market and to leave his neighborhood alone.

This movie does not have any special music. The funniest part is sort of racist and cruel for anyone who has any powerful memories of the Vietnam war. Whatever, it is in the movie. We all know the Chinese were not the ones we were killing, it was in Vietnam. This movie was not that long but I was compelled to watch practically every scene. It was entertaining and there so many intriguing and fascinating characters. Interesting to see White in a comical role. I never saw Seagal do anything like this. But BD has not made an action movie on par with Under Siege, not yet atleast.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Roger Yuan ... Fiendish Dr. Wu

The Invention of Lying

2009-10-30T03:20:00.000-07:00

Another movie that is politically correct has entered our lives. Or more like invaded. It is fashionable to bash God, it is celebrated to do so. We are easy targets and no one can prove God exists. Ofcourse we do not need to, just read scripture. It is that simple, but too many so called smart people think they can outsmart conventional religious doctrine. This movie was directed by a pussy and written by a great one. Real courage is going against what is hip and cool. How about make a movie that advocates the belief in God and promote the concept of being holy? Because Hollywood is filled with too many politically correct pussies that just shoot for the status quo.

Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood are directors who rise above this timidity that seems to pervade Hollywood. The Passion of the Christ is an excellent example. That movie should have won a string of Oscars, Jim Caziel included.

This movie was funny and unique in the first 20 minutes. But about 40 minutes in, the root rose up. Then the movie began to attack Christianity for reasons already described. It is politically correct to so and acceptable. The first half was actually quite funny. The last 20 minutes extremely boring. Wow, this movie leaped off the north side of the Grand Canyon.

Ricky Gervais stars as Mark Bellison. He is regular guy in a world that can not lie. They do not know how to lie, they simply express the truth. But this movie goes over the top since in a world that can not lie, this does not mean one just shoots out insults and does not know how to hold anything in. It would mean that when asked something, one can not like. Like in the movie Liar Liar, an excellent Jim Carry movie. But this movie takes it a step further, the characters just state whatever is on their mind. They hold nothing in. This is funny, the outset quite funny. Then the movie went a different and disturbing route. A route that is quite common in comtemporary Hollywood.

Jennifer Garner is another force in this movie. She is Anna McDoogles and is pretty, everyone knows this. She is not hot but she is attractive. In this fantasy world that this movie exists, no one lies and Anna just issues insult after insult on Mark. They went on a blind date and Anna just lays it all out in the first minute. Right when Mark walks into her charming apartment, she says she is masterbating, does not want to hang out with him, she will probably not allow him to kiss her when it is all over, etc. Right then, I would have walked off. Mark just aborbes the epithets. They eat out and when it is all over, she actually kisses him extremely quickly and lets him know it was not a special night. The following day, at work, Mark receives an email from her saying she does not want anything to do with him. He is overweight, has a snub nose, etc.

Mark is miserable. He is about to lose his job and his secretary disrespects and mocks him. Anna is a successful executive, she may be in another league but her treatment of him is cruel and unwarranted. But in this world where lying does not exist, it is the norm.

The movie takes a suddent twist when Mark's mother is withering away in the hospital. He begins a quite diatribe about what happens after one dies. This is apparently a movie without religion, a callous and shallow world. What one sees is all people talk about, physical appearance is everything, character, spirit, goodness, being positive, none of this matters. These are traits no one can see since no one in this mythical world ever takes the time to think about. It is all about income, body shape, and status. This movie does a quality job in displaying a world that is this shallow. But religion is not full of lies, no more than saying one loves their dad or mom but not being able to prove this. In this superficial and trivial world, religion does not matter. So this movie is powerful in this point. In this regard, this movie is actually promoting religion and saying in this sick world, religion could not exist as it does. This world is quite terrible and unlivable from most anyone's standpoint, almost as bad as the world that is depicted in the Terminator after the computer program Skynet has it's way on us.

Obviously this movie is in a fictional world because human beings with their ingenuity and nature of deciept, two real life forces, lying is part of our lives. Adolf Hitler told the big lies in the 1930's regarding the Jews just like Al Gore is spreading his lies now about man made global warming. The lying continues. In this world in this movie, Gore and Hitler would not exist. So in effect, this movie could be quite healthy and pleasant. But no, it is not. I will take the Hitler and Gore's because the humans who believe these types are fools and suckers. In the modern day, they are destroying entire states with their votes and in Hitler's day, they ran roughshod over Europe costing millions of lives. Both are comparable in destruction. Gore has enriched himself on the way and will never have countries wanting to hang him, so perhaps Gore is smarter, but just as selfish. Gore is also a total hypocrite, something Hitler never approaches.

The chunky Jonah Hill is back. He is hilarious again. He plays Frank who is a depressed neighbor of Mark. Frank just wants to committ suicide. In that world, not a bad option.

In the hospital room, when Mark's mother is on her deathbed, Mark begins his rambling nature about life after death. The nurse's and doctor are ensnared in Mark's version on what happens on life after death. But what Mark is saying is actually true despite the movie's sarcasm about religion. I guess these anti-Christian types who created this movie actually believe after we die, nothing happens. They are silly little folks, about as superficial as the world they created.

The word spread about Mark. That he can speak to some enitity or man in the sky. Mark becomes famous, Anna hangs out with him but is not physically attracted to him. This causes a rift between them. Mark's boss, yes, I guess he was able to keep his job because of his world wide fame, is Rob Lowe. Rob is Brad Kessler and dislikes Mark for not any concrete reasons. In this sick world, characteristics such as a sense of humor do not matter much, it is about facial features and income status. Anna's mother practically orders her to marry Brad and can not even stand the fact that she is friends with Mark. In the end, she chooses Mark. But the world still needs alot of help, it is quite an unpleasant place.

The pivotal scene in the second half of the film is when Mark is trying to explain to Anna that it is what inside a person that should hold considerable merit. This occurs on a park bench on a wonderful afternoon. Anna and the rest of humanity, bases everything on artificial and slight reasoning. It is so simple, just to make decisions on someone based on their weight. If that was the case in reality, Jonah Hill would be unemployed rather than a successful actor because he is out of shape. But that is part of his appeal and allure I think. I wonder if any overweight people would even exist in the world these creators concocted. TV shows and movies are just someone telling a story in the most accurate manner. The movie 300 and certainly not the debacle 10000 BC would have never been made in this fantastical world.

So, what is the moral focal point of this movie? Should we lie? Is the world better off with lies? I say, the world is better off without lies and does not need lies to propel itself. People like Bill Clinton are career liars, he helped make lying seem cool. Humanity would be better off with more truth, this does not mean we just walk around insulting everyone. The writers of this movie seem quite unimaginitive in this spotlight. Believing in God is not based on lies, no more than loving a child. The ten commandments are the foundation of healthy societies. To say our laws are not based on those creeds is fatuous and empty headed. One can play these little games with their kids, not with me.

The ending of this movie was boring and most uneventful, the humor all but disappeared after a third of it was over. The movie started off clever, canny, and witty, but could not sustain itself. There were a couple of good songs in the movie but did that not over come the last half hour which was absent of any entertainment. It was Anna just going back and forth over Brad and Mark.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

The Stepfather

2009-10-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

Can we get a background check please? This is a movie about a serial killer who enjoys and relishes eliminated entire families. He drives around the country, searching for a single mother with kids who is eager to delegate some responsibility to someone else. This could be when a woman is most vulnerable and is so happy another man would be willing to help her raise children that are not his.

Dylan Walsh is David Harris who is seemingly a white collar regular man. But he has implemented an entire range of sinister plots. The police can not locate him or pinpoint his movements because he has used cash for years, he does not allow his ID to be compromised and he is exceptional at covering his tracks. When he grows tired of the family, he shoots the family dead in their home since he is a cold blooded killer.

His latest prey is the family of Susan Harding played by the pretty older brunette known as Sela Ward. Susan has two sons and one of them has returned from a military High School and it was not because he wants to become the next Joe Navy. Apparently he has had some discipline problems. It probably stemmed from his parent's tumultuous divorce which is still causing some ripples in the family. Michael Harding, portrayed by Penn Badgley, is this young man who has apparently burned some bridges with his High School and his former swim coach. He was banned from using the pool and the surrounding facilities. David, his looming stepfather, drove over to the school and spoke to the swimming coach on Michael's behalf. This leveling out allowed Michael to swim in the summer which could eventually allow him to rejoin the team.

The main reason I wanted to watch this movie is because the gorgeous Amber Heard is in this film. She is not Jennifer Love Hewitt and never will be but she smokes Kirst Dunst and acts better than Jessica Alba. Amber is Kelly Porter in this film and she is the girlfriend of Michael. David does not approve of the open and carefree relationship of theirs. I am not sure most parents would be happy with them practically making love when they are home as well. I doubt they would be too happy with them groping each other right before dinner in the swimming pool. His mother is happy with it, she is cleary too liberal which is what is putting her family in dangers. All families, with this same line of reasoning.

The father may be a terminator type killer and is, he kills the elderly neighbor across the street who watched America's Most Wanted and sees some resemblance, but he does believe in corporal punishment. Susan, is trying to make dinner but is distracted by the sound of her younger son playing a video game extremely loud. Rather than walk up the stairs and force him to turn down the volume, she chooses to holler from the kitchen, setting a terrible example. Her son would not even hear her scream because the video game was turned up so high. David walks in and squeezes his neck. The son was being inconsiderate and David did not even hit him, he just put some pressure on him. But the youngest son, being coddled his entire life, spoiled, a fool version of a momma's boy wined to his real father and they almost ended up banging heads one evening. Susan was highly agitated and acted like corporate punishment was barbaric. She is the one who had a teenage son who was acting out of control trying to fight the mailman and neighbor's tree. This was not shown but insinuated. This is why he was sent to high school boot camp. David was correct, there is nothing wrong with corporal punishment.

Amber plays Kelly Porter who is trying to live a normal life, applying to college, and preparing for her final High School year. The movie has her in a bikini throughout the movie, which is fine.

Michael does not help around the house much, that is for sure. Two sons and they help out as much as some dust lying around on the dining room table.

David is a sophisticated maniac. Any threat he eliminates. His life is highly stressful though. His previous family he was silently stalking, he was there for a couple of years. This family, he is on pace to have to snuff them out by the end of summer or risk the police being notified. David makes some mistakes with his made up story, he is really sloppy. For instance, during lunch season with Michael, he screws up the name of his supposed dead daughter. I guess he is passed his prime into disgusting career. David is a true sociopath.

The final fight scene is intense. The oldest son is just suspicious for numerous reasons. His real father is not sure about this stepfather, especially after he lied about swimming for the Univ. of Oregon about 20 years prior. One of Susan's friends is suspicious as well especially when David is really reluctant to hand over private information about himself for his job. David kills this woman and eliminates the real father. He hides this body in the basement freezer. Susan is not suspicious this man she just met has a series of closets and doors in the basement with locks on them?

As expected, the oldest son and Michael fight it out. Susan inflicts a serious wound by stabbing him with some glass into his neck. Rather than escape down the stairs and outside, they rejoice like idiots. Typical asinine movie characters. This leads to the Michael and David showdown. Michael is defending his mother and his lovely girlfriend-Kelly. Kelly did not want Michael investigating David at all since she felt that would upset his mother and she would be compelled to send him off to military loser camp/school. Which she may have been right about.

David and Michael end up on the roof, in a rain storm, fighting it out. Michael has him beat but then Hollywood pulls out is bag of tricks, and this trick has been used countless times. It is like a revolving door. David is pushed off the roof, but when Michael looks down over the edge, David grabs him out of no where and pulls him down with him. This same scene has been rescripted so many times, it is as tired General Motors. The woman have called the police. David somehow has the energy and stamina to escape. He just vanishes. I can believe the neighbors not being alerted to this frantic fight since the homes are large and there is a powerful rainstorm ensuing. Michael ends up in a coma which lasted an entire month. The final scene has David working in a home improvement store looking for his next target.

This movie has some pretty good music. The cast is solid. The storyline is creaive, I do not remember anything exactly like this. It does show the vulnerable state of woman and the hazards of getting married too quickly.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Paranormal Activity

2009-10-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

This movie is really scary. It rivals Blair Witch Project and cost less-only about $15000. Considering it has reportedly earned a lot more, it has been a steal as an investment. It also forced me to do some research regarding a Ouija board.

This movie is about two people, who are not married but have a healthy relationship and a beautiful home in San Diego. It occurs in Sept./Oct. of 2006. Apparently, Katie played by Katie Featherston has been haunted by a demon since child birth. She tried to pretend it did not occur, or fabricate excuses, but something was following her. Her house as child burned down myteriously, the investigation by the fire department came up empty as to the cause.

Micah Sloat is Micah, her boyfriend. Katie slowly informs Micah that she is hearing things at night and that something is bothering her when she sleeps. So Micah goes and buys a nice digital recorder with a tripod. She is unhappy with this move which just befuddles me. This makes complete sense, it can be used to record what is happening inside their home while they sleep. She thinks it will bother the entity but her reasoning is unfounded.

Apparently Katie's family was not religious or they would have solved this issue years ago. They made the same mistake in the movie The Exorcist, the mother in that movie waited until the demon was entrenched and it was almost impossible to extricate the demon without hurting the girl. Katie's family never consulted a church so I have to question their wisdom and decision making skills.

Katie convinces Micah they need to seek help. They turn to Mark Fredrichs who is The Psychic. He asks her and him some questions but mainly focuses on Katie. She informs him some of the information I have revealed, he informs them this is probably a demon and since he concentrates on ghosts, he can not offer further assistance. He does give them a number of a doctor in LA who can help them. Mark tells them to not try to communicate with the demon, to not use a Ouija board, and that running from the home will not work. He does not inform them to seek a priest or ask them if a priest blessed the house. So, I have to question his judgement as well.

The bizaare happenings at night continue. And they rarely turn on the light. At night, any disturbance, any concern, the lights are coming on. Even the police at the end do not turn on the lights, in a dark home. Lights are better than flashlights. What? Katie grows more hysterical. I had some questions though from the outset. Like, what does she do for a living? Did the demon ever try to harm her when she was in High School? You mean she was never in a locker room alone or a classroom? Is she ever in the home alone, day or night? It seems like they are always in the home at the same time which is not likely. Only once in the movie do they have a friend over. Odd. Only once does she call her father or mother and this is after Micah finds a burned picture of her in the attic. Why is in the attic? Micah is innovative and seems to be a problem solver. He is calculating, he puts powder all over the floor and it works. The demon leaves foot prints which lead up to the attic. He climbs up there, at that moment and find this picture. He shows it to Katie and she begins to tremble, it is a picture from her childhood, the corners are burned, and she has not seen it in about 15 years.

Micah is a loving partner but he does not want to seek help despite his ignorance and her pleas. Strike on him. Katie fights him on the camera despite its daily usefullness. Strike on her. Micah goes out and obtains a Ouija board despite the psychic specifically warning them against this. Micah, for far too long, takes this as a joke and a hobby. Katie never warned Micah about her mysterious past. He has a point there when he brings this up.

There is a scene in the middle of the movie where she gets up out of bed and hesitates and stands adjacent to the bed for about 50 minutes. Then she walks outside, must have sleepwalked and winds up on the swing. Micah wakes up and notices her being absent, frantically looks for her, always carrying the recording camera, and when he checks the back sliding glass door, it is open. It is cool San Diego night and she is sitting down on the swing and is uncooperative. She tells him that she wants to remain out there and returns inside to retreive some blankets. He hears some noises inside and goes upstairs and finds their bedroom TV on. When he walks in there, on full alert, Katie appears right behind him. She gets into bed and for some reason, so does he. Not me, I would demand a full explanation and if I had to poor water on her head, I would do that. The following morning she is shocked by her actions. Her actions can not be logically accounted for.

It is amazing they did not seek help after this. To me, sleepwalking is spooky in its own right. But this has to do with influencing thought and behavior. Nope, I would have to make some severe changes.

The psychic told them that if it gets worse, to contact that demon doctor. Micah resists every time Katie brings it up, they both know the situation is exacerbating. Micah is hardheaded and does not know when to seek help. That is a flaw on his part.

Wow, Katie would whine at different parts, it was annoying. The psychic warned them about fighting, and they did not listen. Both were stubborn at times when they should not have been.

There was a pretty gruesome scene at the end of this movie. Micah would do a lot of research about how to defeat their enemy online. He would also look at the video footage the following day on his lap top to see what or if anything happened that night. About 3/4 the way into this movie, he found only an exorcism video. In this online video, the girl was possessed and bit her own arm off. Why doctors did not strap her down is beyond me. But perhaps this occured at night and they had no idea this would or could occur.

Katie is wanted by this demon. This entity has a crush on her, why, no one knows why or how this occurs. The spirit was pulling her away and managed to shut the door to impede her boyfriend. Clever.

Well, Katie does not listen to Micah when he says they should leave. Would leaving help? No, but it would help him. I would have not remained in that house if I was him. She was a threat, she had already proved to be apt to be manipulated by this demon. Ofcourse I would have sought a priest at the first moment and had the home blessed upon moving in.

This movie is frustrating because they never consulted a priest. Who are these people? Even in liberal SoCal that would be a logical choice or transition. Their neighbors are never shown. For this movie's small budget, this movie is horrifying. It does the trick, it delivers. Katie and Micah are solid performers. I was convinced of their plight. Ofcourse I would have been praying and employing a priest. Not one loved one ever visited them. Micah thought he was commando, but this type of threat can not be handled by an unbeliever. Both of them made decisions which lead to their doom.

I allocate this movie four stars.****

Carriers

2009-10-22T04:50:00.000-07:00

This is a movie where the characters just make mistake after mistake. Very little team work, it is amazing they have made it this far. They seem to have rules just to break, to the risk and detriment to their own lives and safety.

The movie begins with some friends headed to the beach for some surfing. But they are not really headed to the beach to have fun, they are headed there since they know a hotel that is isolated which could offer them a barrier between them and the infection. The two brothers used to be taken here by their parents for family vacations.

This movie is another virus movie, with humanity on the brink. How many of these have they made? About as many assassin movies and Drew Berrymore love stories.

Star Trek's Chris Pine returns as the tough guy in the film. Brian is his name and he has a miniture brother names Danny played by Lou Taylor Pucci. Brian plays the typical hard ass but he seems to be the only one who can make the tough decision. His wimpy brother undermines him the entire movie and does not even have the decency to respect him when the times are tough.

There first encounter in the movie, that we see, is with a man and his daughter. They drive around the large GMC SUV but in doing so they damage their oil pan. The father wants some of their gas but they notice the daughter is infected when she looks out of the window. Danny did not see it but Bobby does. Bobby is played by Piper Perabo from Coyote Ugly. Piper is pretty but is not as applealing as she used to be. Perhaps she is but the competition has increased and is more readily found. New young talent over shadows her or could have been given a chance like J-Ray or Natalina Maggio. Casting is very important, but Piper is a better choice than Kirsten Dunst for sure.

The average looking Emily VanCamp is the fourth musketeer in this movie. She is Kate and her relationship with Danny is to be determined. Kate notices the sick daughter in the SUV which is purposely blocking the rode. She urges them and Brian to ditch them. The Father which is approaching their car is carrying a crow bar and attempts to break into their car as they speed away. Why he did not fill up his tank and have extra gas in that large SUV is beyond me. But this father is Law and Order SVU's own
Christopher Meloni. He is Frank.

Frank and his daughter come back into the picture when the group's car runs out of oil about a mile down the road. They argue about their choices but Brian and most of them, but his brother, knows they must return and take that SUV. They figure the daughter is already dead and the father is infected as well.

As they walk back up the road to Frank's stationary SUV, Brian retains his hand gun which he has been carrying. The standoff ensues, Frank not wanting to give up his SUV. Frank is hollering that he has heard on some frequency about a lab in a town along way up the road has found a serum. This serum can defeat the disease. Danny's idea is too put the father and daughter in the rear, taping a plastic shield between them and the backseat. This seems to be the winning idea. Strike one up for Danny but his future bonehead moves bash this bright idea down on its head.

They reach the town and lab appears to be in a High School. There is a doctor there working, researching something with dead bodies with lights on them spread out around the cafeteria's floor. The doctor has his makeshift labaratory set up towards the end of the cafeteria, encased in plastic. Frank starts asking him questions. But the doctor seems to be on another agenda. He has three children in the plastic with him and he is pooring juice from a Gatorade container. But the liquid is not juice. The doctor informs Frank it is potassium in the liquid. I am not sure the scientific merits or basis behind this. But it appears ominous. Frank asks for Brian's gun. Brian dictates to Frank that there is not a cure. He is right. But Danny grabs the gun from Brian, coming from behind and hands it to Frank. Frank puts the doctor at gunpoint and orders the doctor to stand down. The doctor is already visibily infected. Frank is explained by the doctor that his actions are futile. There is not any cure, the generator will soon run out of power-fuel,these children are already infected, and the best course of action is to quickly end this brutal nightmare.

Frank is perplexed and ruined. He places the gun down before he walks out. Danny, Kate and Brian leave. In the SUV, Bobby has elected to remain behind and keep the small girl company. This is going fine when the girl is hit with complications. Bobby does the stupid thing and rips down the plastic. Then she does the biggest bonehead move in the movie and tries to comfort the child. The child coughs up blood on her, some must have gone into her mouth or eyes. It had to be a puny amount, most went on her sweat shirt which she did her best to keep the others from noticing. She quickly tapes up the plastic shield. Bobby did not even notice, nor did I, a trace amount which entered into her system. But she did not even wipe herself down after this incident since she did not want the returning others to become curious. So she puts them all at risk. She is completely selfish. Perhaps she could have saved herself if she quickly wiped her face down and hands.

Frank and the daughter are left behind despite the wimpy Danny's protests. They got them there and that was the deal explained Brian. What does Danny want them to do, haul them in the rear to their getaway spot, an infected girl? He is a fool. He may have been accepted into Yale but this proves he is only booksmart.

They stop at a fancy desert resort. Kind of like the Marriot I stayed at in North Phoenix, in the desert ofcourse. They play some golf, Brian acts moronic and wrecks a golf cart. Every place they stop at is a potential hazard. At night, the two girls are walking around the place and are caught by armed men in bio hazard suits. They order the girls to strip down and this is where they notice Piper is infected. The men order them to leave, they comply. Piper had a large purple spot under her lower left breast.

Several hours goes by, after sunrise, Brian pulls over and orders Bobby to get out of the car. Bobby pleads to remain, even to get in the back. This is after she has already kissed Brian and allowed him to hug her. She basically murdered her boyfriend for not informing him and the group what happened when she was in the SUV alone with the child. Kate does not stick up for her but the punk Danny may have said something.

They have another road encounter when Brian is shot but kills both older woman for their gas. He asked nicely at first. Why people can not get along is testiment to how destructive human beings are. But is this accurate? They stop at home and now Danny is forced to the man. He goes in that dark and beat up home, has to shoot a german shephard who is eating the owner in his bed, but does succeed in grabbing some medicine for his brother. While patching him up on his leg, he notices Brian is infected as well. Later that night, after they built a fire, Danny does the punk thing and tries to sneak out with Emily. Leaving his brother to die a miserable death in the desert. He does not even have the decency to discuss their options and convince Brian he can no longer come with them. Brian would not give up the car keys, which is dumb and selfish, so he forces his brother to shoot him for them. Pathetic and terrible.

Emily and her book smart boyfriend reach the beach house to begin a life.

OK, lets rehash this a little. Why Brian, Bobby and the two others do not have more ammunition is beyond me. Especially since humanity has ran into another dark age. Morality seems to be relevent at best. I would have a bullet proof vest, more food and water, they seem to have barely enough clothes. All this stuff would have been simple to obtain as the cities and town's died out. They did have sufficient disenfectant and basic masks. I will credit them this.

This movie is not a full length movie, devoid of music, shows little talent for humor, as I explained before, had some casting miscues. Where is Jennifer Love Hewitt? Certainly this movie is not unique. I do like Pine and Meloni though in this film. This movie is not quite full length either, about 76 minutes.

I allocate this film 2 stars.**

Law Abiding Citizen

2009-10-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

Well, if one has any issues with the justice department, this could be the movie for you. The justice system has some issues but I am not sure blowing people was the answer. I could understand going after the defendant, perhaps his lawyer, but killing anyone else is wrong and evil. Nevertheless, this was a clever movie and it does cause one to reflect. Can we do better? Perhaps John Grishman would like to chime in. He has made a career off law centered stories, I am reading The Partner right now. This movie takes his typical storyline a bit further. This movie does not revolve around the justice system, the justice system is in the crosshairs.

Jamie Foxx has returned but he is not the high flying, exciting, larger than life individual we know him to be. He has brought back his humble, Collateral, taxi driver character. Here is a prosecutor called Nick Rice before he becomes the district attorney. But this happens sooner than it normally would because of Clyde Shelton. Clyde is played by the stellar Gerard Butler.

The movie opens glamorizing the happy family life that Clyde has. This ends dramatically when he is answers the door without checking who it is. He is met with a baseball bat to the head, and he soon watches as two robbers and killers eliminate his daughter and wife. This is alluded to, it is not really shown. Which is fine. One the culprits seems to have been duped into this heist. The leader, is true scum and it is his idea alone to committ murder to the 2nd power. The younger kid is given the death penalty but the homicidal maniac who is really the threat to society cuts a deal and is only sentenced to a few years in prison.

Ten years passes. Now Nick has a daughter of similar age along with his lovely wife who we were introduced too in the outset of the movie.

Christian Stolte plays the sinister Clarence Darby who I have already described. Darby is sitting in his apartment when he is maniupulated by Clyde. Clyde calls the police on him but then warns Darby by calling his phone while using a device to alter his voice. He gets Darby to kidnap an unsuspecting police officer who is Clyde in disguise. Genius. Now Darby is out of sight and mind while Clyde removes his police costume. Darby has a weapon but that weapon is harmless. It must have been the night before, Clyde somehow snuck into Darby's home and smeared a poisonous fish's juices on the hand grip of the Darby's hand gun. Out in the field, adjacent to an industrial wearhouse that Clyde own's. This is where Clyde goes to work. Darby is alive and has feelings but that is it. His muscles have been incapacitated because the poison and inside the wearhouse Darby is strapped down onto some sort of chair. This is well thought out, Clyde films it but he is covered up so there is not any actual proof that he committed this crime. I would say heinous and sick crime but Darby did kill off the females that Clyde loved. So, Darby will not be missed by anyone that matters.

Clyde, a few hours later, perhaps the next day, turns himself in by calling the police and informing them where he is located. Why he strips down is beyond me. Nick is a high flyer in Philadelphia circles and is the manager in the District Attorney's (DA) office. His ambition is anything but transparent. Career actor, all the way from the cool action movie The Last Boyscout is Bruce McGill who plays Jonas Cantrell. He is the DA but Clyde seems to be the motivator and true leader in the office. Jonas does have some contacts and pulls some strings which result in a revelation on who Clyde is. Clyde is a tinkerer, he has several patents on some of the applications he has designed. This movie did not explain really why Darby could not be prosecuted for first degree murder and they do the same thing here. Jonas and Nick, with Jonas at the helm, escape the office and meet a clandestine fellow. He could work in some Pentagon think tank or perhaps the CIA. I am not sure. He does seem to want to hide his indentification and his current whereabouts. This clandestine fellow tells Nick and Jonas that Clyde is a genious, he can kill people without being near them, he can manipulate machines and devices with pure deftness. His problem solving skills seem akin to Prison Break's Scofield.

Clyde goes onto kill the liberal judge after he already insulted her in her presence. That latter scene was humorous. Clyde attacked her for being a sucker, soft hearted liberal who is too quick to prone to releasing dangerous creatures. But he wants to return to prison and he kills his cellmate. This is after he has the prison bring him a steak and full scrumptious dinner. The prisoners are in hysterics inside their cells since it seems one prisoner is receiving lavish treatment.

Clyde wanted to be sent to solitary confinement since in the ten years he had to plan this devious scheme, he dug a full size tunnel which storms right underneath the cells in solitary confinement. The tunnel leads to an industrial wherehouse that he bought after he liquidated his holdings and savings. His holdings from a company he owned that represented the products he invented.

The only cute face in this movie that I think of is Leslie Bibb. Bibb is cute but she is not a J-Ray. There was too many men in this movie. This movie could have easily kept its intensity and plotline intact with a stunning figure such as J-Ray.

She is a laywer named Sarah Lowell who ends up working for Clyde after he replaces his former jealous manager. Clyde all but told him he would take his spot, it was only a matter of time. This was in the beginning. Leslie, along with several other prosecutors are blown up by car bombs in the parking lot of their office. Jonas is killed as these people leave the funeral of these prosecutors. Who is doing this? Does Clyde have help? Well I already told you Clyde can go and come from his solitary confinement as he pleases. He has an escape route underneath any confinement space. Nick and Detective Dunnigan played by Colm Meaney from Con Air locate this route. It is an illegal search but by this point, red tape needs to be cut through.

Clyde has either bought or built a robitic weapon. I saw this on Future Weapons on Discovery Channel about 2 years ago. This robot is on tracks, about 3 feet square, has multiple sets of cameras mounted on it and in this case, it has a 50' caliber firing system and a grenade launcher. Clyde attacks the SUV that Jonas is in and destroys it.

At this point, the mayor calls in Homeland Security, the FBI, and perhaps the military. Another name for martial law is declared. Philadelphia is in a steel pinch. Clyde has already told Nick he is going to destroy the system. He is upset that Nick would not prosecute Darby. Atleast try, if they lost they lost. Do their best. Nick told Clyde they would lose the case because of insufficient proof. This was ofcourse ten years ago

When Jonas and Nick met with this shadowy figure one evening, he told them the only chance they have at ending this nightmare is to walk into Clyde's lonely cell and put a bullet into his head. Well, before Clyde was about to blow up the meeting with the mayor, Homeland Security, etc., Nick did the only rationable thing. Before he was about to resign after Jonas was taken out at the cemetary, he became acting DA. His hand placed on the bible as he tool the oath in front of the mayor. Nick takes the law into his own hands, with the help of Dunnigan I believe, Nick confronts Clyde inside his cell. Clyde knows his escape route has been compromised. He is also startled, which is a first. Nick knows what Clyde has been doing and how he has been running back and forth, shaking the system up literally. Nick walks away after he lights the cell on fire. Nick accepts his ending, knowing he did make his mark. He may not have changed anything, but unlike Timothy McVeigh, atleast Clyde's feelings were understood. His pain was reasonable. The source known.

This movie has some steller scenes. Its point is made. The mainstream media does not like this film since they attack liberal judges. I loved it. It is about time. This stuff has been going on for sometime. Clyde lost his family when he had his guard down, his guard was never down after that. Our justice system is flawed but still one of the best in the world. Regardless, improvements could be made.

I allocate this movie four stars.****

Couples Retreat

2009-10-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

Is this the ultimate couple's movie? No, but it was funny and is worth seeing. It is not Wedding Crashers or Meet the Parents, to clarify expectation but it the best comedy perhaps since The Hangover. Vince Vaughn is back and that is cool. He is charismatic and his word delivery is quite unique. He plays Dave and seems to be the leader of his clique.

The clique consists of Jason Bateman-Jason; Jon Favreau-Joey; and Faizon Love who plays Shane. They are sort of foiled into going on this vaction by Jason and Kristen Bell who plays his wife Cynthia. Their marriage is on the brink of a divorce so they want to try to solve their can not have a baby issues with one final shebang. Jason finds an exotic island that specialized in couple strengthening.

Dave and his gorgeous wife Ronnie played by Malin Akerman are reluctant. They have two children but then agree since they have never had a real honeymoon before.

Shane is also experience a divorce and is currently dating a girl half his size who soon runs circles around him on this island. He is apparently broke, goes into debt after purchasing a motorcycle he cannot afford but the movie skips over this detail. This makes little sense and aspects such of this chip away from this movie.

On this island, they stay in individual huts with part of the floor see through glass so they can see live fish underneath them, they eat for free and the food is amazing, and the entire scenery is gorgeous. The kick is, they have a thick and time consuming itinerary which forces them to discuss their issues with a marriage counselor even when they do not want. Jason and Cynthia are all for this. But Dave and Ronnie do not feel they need to attend. But everyone but Jason and Cynthia realize they have to do things they do not want to do but they do not want to break up the team since this is a package deal and they know Jason and Cynthia are begging for everyone to stick to this powerful regimen.

Upon arriving on this island, Joey meets four gorgeous young ladies who are on the east side of the island. It is separated by about 500 feet of ocean sea water. It can be navigated though with canoes ofcourse or by a competent swimmer. The east side of the island is for single folks. It seems to be one lengthy party. Security is not shown but it must be heavy. With all that free booze, I am sure alot of paperwork is signed by any customer who signs up for this loose vacation.

Jean Reno is the couple whisperer. That is an impressive idea. He plays Marcel and he performs well for mainly being in action movies such as Ronin, Mission Impossible and The Professional. The greatest scene is a yoga scene with Carlos Ponce who plays Salvadore. He is leading the yoga session in a speedo and he is mounting the everyone of them and gyrating himself. He positions himself all over these people, it is hysterical.

Vaughn's best scene can not be pinpointed. His conversation skills are on display here again. Whenever he is communicating with his friends, he just funny. His facial expressions are priceless. His character in this movie are attacked because he supposedly manipulates Ronnie so much and seems to get everything to go his way. He is charismatic, he is amusing, it probably helps he is not a small person, this is his likable personality. These traits were exhibited in the movie The Break. His wit and charm devasted Jennifer Aniston. He then duplicated this with Four Christmas where he manhandled Reese Witherspoon with his cordial manner and shrewd reasoning as well. Now Malin Akerman had the best shot in this movie in matching him, not because of her personality but because of her shape and appearance. She is cute at any point, she is completely stunning. She does not have the fake tan and is more attractive than Aniston. And Reese Witherspoon has not been gorgeous in anything in over ten years.

This movie ends with seemingly every relationship about to blow up. But with some turbulence that is induced by Shane's young girlfriend, the couples come back together in a way that only could occur with the help of some Hollywood script writers. Shane is broke but his wife comes back into his life. What she is doing on the Eden east, this resort is called Eden, is beyond me, but she is here and has been there for about 5 days. What? She is like 40 and not that attractive, this is pure fantasy. It is a about a 6 day vacation retreat. Meanwhile, Shane and Ronnie's children are being babysitted by their grandfather. Anyway, Jason and Cynthia make passionate love after spending about 2 hours away from each other. Something had to shake.

Joey punches the pretty boy Salvadore for dancing and trying to woo and charm his wife Lucy played by Kristin Davis. Then he and Lucy have a romantic embrace which was long past due. Jon seems to tag along with Vince, always appearing in his movies. His role this time is extensive and he holds his own. Besides Vince though, Shane is the funniest. Shane has some funny facial gestures of his own.

Alyssa Julya Smith is probably the most fascinating female in the entire picture. She should have had the role of Kristen Bell. But the casting director did us right with Akerman, she is a winner.

This movie had alot of beauty, but alot of loose ends which was not tied back together. I mean, did Dave really co-sign Shane's motorcycle without informing his wife? Shane did not have any money, absurd. Yes, Dave's child urinating in the furniture store's toilet, pretty cute. But Dave should have left a tip or cleaned it up himself. But this movie did have an extensive list of funny people.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

The Tournament

2009-10-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

This a slick action movie with a stellar cast. It was not lengthy and it was not completely original. They borrowed the idea from the Cuba Gooding Jr. comedy that took place around the center of the US called Rat Race. Seth Green was in this movie as well and everyone, certainly Cuba acting pretty bizaare. This was a race to win some cash, The Tournament was not a race but a movie where assassins compete like suckers while ethically challenged underground mobsters gamble on who is the greatest assassin. The gamblers in Rat Race were possibly addicted to gambling but they were not celebrating in people killing each other. Massive difference. They were delightful sorts, the big players funding The Tournament were morally bankrupt.

The organizer in Rat Race followed the goofy contestants with driving and flying cameras. Honestly, I do not remember that exactly. In The Tournament, the organizers had hackers who used the CCTV cameras in London to follow the movemements of the 30 assassins who volunteered for this mission or competition. Technology has changed in 10 years.

This movie also uses assassins as its cornerstone, how many assassin movies have we seen now? It is almost like Drew Berrymore love stories.

Ving Rhames is Joshua Harlow who has won this tournament 7 years prior. Why assassins would risk losing their lives for these type of odds is ridiculous. I do not believe one winner in 30, even with a $10 million purse, so? 1/30, the math does not work out. All others die and if the killing is not over within 24 hours, the organizers have the power to detonate the assassin because their is a miniture bomb inside them. Liam Cunningham is Powers and he is the creator of this lucrative gamble. How the gambling details are worked out, it is not explained well. There is a bunch of money in many currencies scattered around this massive glass table. It seems like mobsters from every corner of the globe are in attendance.

Harlow is a killer but the writing team gives him some heart and passion. Kelly Hu carries this movie. She is gorgeous, I do not grow tired of looking at her. She plays Lai Lai Zhen who has been hitting for the Triads for several years. She is one of the favorites. Hu was stunning in Xmen II and nothing has changed. She makes Kirsten Dunst look like a homely ACLU supporter.

Zhen and Harlow are portrayed as the good folks, the so called heroes. Zhen has just killed Harlow's wife which adds some intensity to the film. She was hired by Powers since Powers wanted to motivate Harlow. He felt Harlow would have declined The Tournament if he did not have an incentive. I am sure he would have. When Powers is killed at the end, that is satisfying. Albeit his bodyguards would have not taken 10 minutes to prevent Powers from being harmed in reality but whatever.

Lost's former star Ian Somerhalder is in this movie. That is refreshing where did he go after being killed in that airplane? Miles Slater is his name in this movie and he plays a psychotic Texan just shooting everyone. He kills a dog, gorgeous females, without the police ever arriving. I guess the hackers prohibited any emergency calls from reaching the authorities. Slater is so sloppy, I have no idea how he would ever get a clean getaway in any hit.

There is a priest in this movie. This movie does toss a little respect towards the Catholic church. Which will piss off Bill Maher and the 10% of people who just pretend God does not exist. It is fashionable and politically correct to attack Christianity since they know we have morals, we will not get as vicious as them. There is not any reason for that. The enemy does not have any boundaries. They are amusing though.

28 Weeks Later's Robert Carlyle is Joseph or Father Macavoy. He has a severe drinking problem but that is not that uncommon for a man of the cloth. Powers thought Father Macavoy was going to kill for the sake of the Tournament because he drank a tracking and the detonator which was in a cup of coffee. Sebastien Foucan, whose character's name I am not sure of, has brought his running and athletic ability from Casino Royale to this movie. It is incredible watching this guy jump around, I would like to see his time in the 40 yard dash/sprint.

He does something that I do not understand why everyone of the assassins does not do. He digs out the tracking beacon out of his rib/stomach area and tosses it into some coffee in a coffee shop. The Father inadvertently drinks that ruins his day. in the long run, it helps him realize he needs to be a better priest, control his drinking, and meeting the gorgeous Zhen helps as well. He may have converted her and although he can not date her, she is still special to him. It seems he needs someone on Earth, God speaks through her. She does to a strange confession in this bathroom scene, it is pure entertainment but the movie is touching in some respects. This movie is far superior than the assassin movie by Nicolas Cage called Bangkok Dangerous.

Wolverine's Scott Adkins is a lethal Russian assassin called Yuri Petrov. I wanted to see him fight Foucan but this did not happen. I love the casting of Kelly Hu in this movie, she is magnificent. The movie was not that long and the musical score was paltry. Nevertheless, if you like action movies, this is for you.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Stan Helsing

2009-10-13T11:22:00.000-07:00

Leslie Nielsen and Kenan Thompson are the main stars in this horrendous spoof. It was not even a real spoof. A spoof dedicates about 15 minutes of their screen time to tear into another movie and poke fun of it. The spoof borrows some of the same music and background so it is totally conspicuous and black and white on what movie is being targeted. This movie had characters from other movies but it was so ridiculous it can not be deemed an adequate spoof.

Nielson did not have a major part in this movie, he must have had some free time or he was so bored in retirement he agreed to take on a role. Nielson could have been looking for some food money for a month, I am not sure. It is a tough economy, there could be other reasons.

I have always thought Thompson was funny. Since I can not watch Saturday Night Live, or do not really want to, it is good to see him here. Even if he is walking around in a ridiculour superman costume with his belongings in his crotch.

The cockroach scene at the outset sets the tone for the rest of the movie, and the tone is woeful. The tone is step away. But Diora Baird is worth looking at for a short while. How Kirsten Dunst obtains roles in block busters, or even Gwyneth Paltrow for that matter with Diora sitting on the sidelines is a Hollywood travesty and mystery.

This movie is so deplorable I am not going to mention character names. The movie is half way watchable for a guy because of Diora Baird is stunning. She appears to be a different person in outside of this film, though still beautiful, but her image in this movie is spectacular. The plot is simple. Four people, including Baird and Thompson get lost on Holloween and for some reason have Hellraiser, Jason, Freddy, Michael, and The Exorcist chasing them. The movie is just distressing. I mean, Nielson plays a female waitress. Are you kidding me?

Certainly I do recommend this movie. Any female would not put up 5 minutes into this movie. Most males could last about 10. If I was not a fan of movies, I would not have watched this so called spoof. There is not a chance in any minute originating from the Big Bang I would recommend this movie.

This movie mainly had the action adventure Van Helsing in its crosshairs with Hugh Jackman and the stunning Kate Beckinsale. This movie was nothing to write home about either, the bridge in this movie was something from the 5th dimension. Hugh Jackman's werewolf and the vampire at the end were just monstrosities. Not a good movie. The town being attacked in this movie had all sorts of healthy men but they just sat around being attacked at will by some flying creatures? The flying creatures were stunningly beautiful. Whatever. But this movie's main character was Stan Helsing, all the weirdos of the movie thought he was supposed to be the real Van Helsing. The famous monster hunter. Accept these are not really monsters, but whatever, it is a stupid fantasy. Van Helsing is not even real, he is a product of someone's imagination. The real monsters are Hugo Chavez, Sean Penn, Rosie O' Donnell, Bill Maher, etc. Where is someone to slay them-the real monsters?

I allocate this movie 0 stars.

Damage

2009-10-09T12:15:00.000-07:00

This is the male's love story. Hollywood continues to pump out these same type of underground fight movies: Fighting, Never Back Down, Blood and Bone. This time it is Steve Austin's time to tear it up. Each time, the main character gets bigger, physically. Blood and Bone's Michael Jai White showed the most skills and that final fight scene was impressive. The final fight in Fighting, that motivational speech before the climax was what I remember most, that was a cool shout out on top of the building. The problem with Fighting is the dialogue in between the fight scenes was horrendous. Notably the exchanges between Channing Tatum and a girl he likes.

Austin is John Brickner in this movie. He killed a man in self defense and served his time, but he is released on good recognizance. One of the reasons he is released is because the wife of the man he killed wrote on his behalf. But when he is released she wants something in return. She does not have any health insurance, and her daughter needs a new heart. The mother is a loser but after John sees her daughter he agrees to do what he can to save her life.

The unheard of Laura Vandervoort is the female fetale in this movie. She plays Frankie and she can light up any screen. How Kirsten Dunst obtains roles and Laura does not is a true Hollywood conspiracy theory.

Walton Goggins is in this show. He was in the best show, one of the best police dramas I have ever seen called The Shield. Incredible show, bad series ending but every episode was packed with incredible characters and situations. I miss it. Reno is the name of Walton's character in this movie. He is one of the premier Seattle's underground managers. But he is still scrapping by and owes some mobsters some serious coin. Every character in this movie has a debt to pay, don't we all.

John cracks heads in all sorts of fighting venues. The writers displayed some serious imagination in this aspect, perhaps they are also fight video game writers or borrowed some ideas from Activision or Electronic Arts, either way, that was cool. Gladiator had Tigers, this movie had dogs. The only thing that has changed as the crowds have shrunk for this type of sporting activity. I guess modern society has more humane sports to cheer about, perhaps so, but this gambling attraction will not ever dissipate.

Reno could have had an easier time of John did not have any morals. But he chose not beat a fighter to death, so this constituted a forfit. His opponent would have killed him and laughed about it in the end. Serious stakes. John is a good man. John did not know Reno owed money, but John did know that he needed some serious cash to help pay for the heart transplant. Trade a punk's life for a sweet little girl, I think that is a fair trade. Reno's life was hanging by the threads as well. But Reno kept this close to home, John was ignorant of the route of this stagecoach.

John did not have a car but in a few scenes he still got around. Oh well, they also did not ever show him lift any weights. But he was working in construction until his screwball manager fired him. Then he saves his life by giving him CPR as he has a self induced heart attack. I say self induced since this prick foreman just created drama for himself. The only reason he was a foreman any how is because his powerful brother dropped him into that position.

This movie does have a happy ending. There is alot of blood and violent scenes. The fighters in this movie punch sideways, not straight into their target. Interesting. For a lower budget film though, this was half way done. This movie was routine though, not much originality.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

The Rebound

2009-10-09T03:28:00.000-07:00

Catherine Zeta-Jones has really falling off. I guess she does not need the money so she makes this just to show her superstar husband Michael Douglass she does not completely rely on him. She may have done this movie pro bono. This salary would help her get through the weekend.

She plays Sandy who finds a video on her home computer that proves her husband is unabashedly unfaithful. Why they have a video recording in their home is beyond me but whatever. Perhaps she set it there because of her suspicions. Regardless, this movie has been made about 200 times now.

I know why Justin Bartha took this role. One love scene with Jones and he may have volunteered for this as well. He can do pro bono as well. I am sure his friends were OK with that.
He plays Aram Finklestein who has not started a normal full time job yet but does have a college degree. He is probably saddled with $60,000 in college debt but this is not mentioned. Sandy has money from her previous divorce. She seems to have money since she still attends yoga and does not seem to spend too much time thinking about her new status. There does not appear to be one, her husband is smacked with two hefty child support payments. But this is not discussed in the movie. Like Zellweger's role in My One and Only, I guess she needs a man as well. Not much has changed. I wonder what feminists think about this? Well, Zellweger's Anne Deveraux does, in the end, pursue the single route after she becomes more down to earth and practical. Her mind had been in the stratosphere and had to be knocked down with a ball peen hammer.

Sandy finds a job as a writer in a newspaper and it seems she is writing about sports which to me, just to walk in and be given a column in the age the newspaper readership decline, is totally fictional. It is just not that easy. But she is a hard worker and apparently has the right mindset for this occupation.

Sandy and Aram meet since he ends up baby sitting her children. Sandy goes on a few dates with some white collar types she is not interested in. Her friend is setting her up with people she would be interested in. Sandy sees the kindness in Aram's eyes one day and she leans towards him. Aram is interested in her despite not having a sound footing yet, I guess he does not want to have some free time in his mid 20's. The movie does challenge him on this account, not very many 24 year olds would even consider taking over a family. If they were successful or not, this would not matter, even if the mother was stunningly attractive which Sandy is. Sandy comes with some baggage, Aram still lives with his folks. This is a massive reach but it is Hollywood, land of the imaginational stretch.

But the movie comes back to reality after Sandy gets pregnant-which happens after their first encounter. She is content with having a child but after a visit with the doctor, she has a collision course with what is about to happen. She realizes that starting a semi family with someone so young, unpolished, and unproven may not be the best course of action. Aram thinks he is ready but her mind is set. Aram is forced to locate another route. Probably for the best.

Aram does travel around the world but returns to land on his feet. Aram adopts a child from Bangladesh. Aram has some attractive offers from pretty, professional, females his age but for some reason he does not even give them a chance. Whatever. One evening, with his parents, hard to believe, while they are out to eat, they run into Sandy. This is about 6 years later. His parents are ecstatic. Aram is secretly elated. Sandy agrees to combine tables and her interest grows. What a fine ending.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

My One and Only

2009-10-08T12:43:00.001-07:00

The ghostly Renée Zellweger has chosen to brace us with her presence again. How would we get through the week if it was not for this. Besides her, this movie had a strong cast. Even Nick Stahl obtained a part in this 1950's movie. He should have never been John Connor in Terminator III, that was a huge mistake, as well as that movie's script, but he stands tall in this movie. His part was designed for him as a blue collar type, a hands on man.

Anne Deveraux is Renee's character and she is married to Dan Devereaux played by Kevin Bacon. Bacon needs the work, as we all do, but he was one of the victims of Bernie Madoff (he should be executed) so he does have to restack his war chest. Dan is unfaithful and Anne has had enough. She yanks both her sons out of school, depletes a safety deposit box, and takes off. She does not know how to drive a car well, her sons do not have a license, and one refuses to drive for whatever reason. The real reason is he useless and gay. But he knows fashion and colors. Mark Rendall plays George Hamilton, who is the step brother of George Devereaux.

Dan is the real father of Logan Lerman's character named George. This is not a normal 1950's family, this seems to a typical 21st century type situation. Dan is a successful song writer and entertainer, this one song is practically bank rolling him, he is writing this way all the way too the beach. His apartment is lifestyle is upper middle class but this does not stop Anne from leaving him after his blatant infidelities. Anne and the boys leave for Boston. This is after Anne informs George that the real view mirror is useless and she was not sure why the manufacturer even installs them. I was hoping after that dangerous and amazing advice they would get hit from the rear right when he pulled out into traffic. For some reason, they make it to Boston without being a road hazard or causing a huge accident.

Anne's entire aim is to meet a man that would instantly hall them all in. And she hit a homerun in Boston after a setback, so she went 1 for 2. Not bad, but the contract is not signed. Chris Noth, who plays in just another detective show on television, is Dr. Harlan Williams who is a die hard military man who still wears his gleaming uniforms around despite it being a little innappropriate at times. This falls apart though when he gives her $500 to shop for a wedding dress and items for the wedding. Remember, this is early 1950's. But her gay and stupid son urges her to spend the money on handicapped children. And she obliges. They have been living an indulgent lifestyle for some time now. When they return, Williams is irate, which is normal. The movie is strange here and acts like he should not be upset. This must have been written by a goofy female, no person in their right mind would not expect someone to be upset at this. Williams demands Anne to return the pearl necklace back to him so he can exchange this necklace for some money. She did not deplete him but he wants some financial payback. Anne refuses. Williams chases after her and George, her normal son, jumps on his back. Williams tosses him aside and Anne screams at him for laying his hands on him. What? Anne tosses the shredded necklace at Williams and they are off.

The reason Anne took off north after leaving the heart of New York City is because she had an old boyfriend there. They went out to eat and this guy starts trembling. He informs her his business if being crushed. He owes alot of money and demands she give him some. This guy is desperate and irrational. Why he thought she had $50,000 lying around is nonsensical. He is raising his voice in the place which is embarrasing to her. But then she does something only a true fool would do. She takes off to the bathroom and leaves her purse. She returns and this fool stole the contents, he probably made off with about a few thousand dollars. Whatever.

Pittsburg is next. They are here for about a month and Anne begins to feel the money pinch. This place is not plush, this in a working class neighborhood. Everywhere they go, the kids enroll in school and do their best to cope with the environment.

Anne knows another man she had a fling with and she hopes her mad scrambles can end here. This is where the renegade family meets Bud played by Nick Stahl. Bud did not have a large revenue stream but his character surges with loyalty and stability. He has a practical sense but this spoiled dame does not give him a chance. Bud is the person she calls when she is arrested for solicitation. When she was told her options by the under cover detective at the bar, she should have told him to call the room number of the man she was there too see. Who cares if he was having a party, he invited her.

George sees his father Dan here. He realizes his mother was correct, that his father is not a role model and is too self absorbed to be taken seriously.

OK, now they are truly headed west into St. Louis. Anne has a sister there. Both kids start school and Anne gets fired as a waitress. She applies to a paint company as a sales woman and with her skill in colors, she brings in business that would normally never have walked in on such a large scale. This is what I do not understand, they just take off from here. She was tearing up the business. The fictional store manager is David Koechner who plays Bill Massey. Bill turns out to have a wife but he forgets this and woos other woman. Why she just lets him him wander all around is strange. The family is rich and pays Anne probably about $5000 for her setback-psychologically. Why this business is content with such a skilled employee who is driving business into new territority is just mindboggling.

George remains after a serious fued with his mother. His step brother is enchanted with their Hollywood pursuit. George is happy with the school he is at and realizes his mother is also vain. She does not show the care that a child expects. This is what is really bizaare, they have been driving for two days but George catches up with them without stalling their trip for more than 2 minutes. Hmm... Anne proves again she is brain dead when she is robbed by a young woman they agree to give a ride too. Anne leaves her cash in her convertible like a moron.

Anne and George set up shop in Hollywood. George proves he is too feminine to play a cowboy but he is adept as a costume director. The straight George impresses the movie executives when he was trying motivate his brother that they gave him a shot in their picture. I guess it all worked out.

Hollywood must have not learned from their 10000 BC debacle of a year in a half ago-the pyramids were not built by slaves. This movie said that twice at the end. The pyramids were built by the farming class in between growing seasons. Someone needs to send Hollywood a history book not influenced by Rosie O' Donnel.

Dan catches up to them but whether or not he says anything to the boys, he is not sure. The feminine George is not his real son, but Dan pleads with Anne to return with him to New York City. She respectfully declines. He bows out. Approximately 1 week later, Anne receives a terrible call informing her that Dan just had a mortal heart attack. George is devastated, he just lost his father. But he returns to New York City to finish High School since he was offered a scholarship for his writing and artistic talent. Both brothers have tremendous jobs for being so young. Not a bad deal for them.

This movie was worth while. It was well written and had alot of touching characters. Its casting ensemble was impressive. Besides the unnappealing and bright haired Zellweger, this movie did not have a flaw. Her character persevered but had several brain farts and Logan took off with it. I did not like the pyramid slave information poorly told nor the idea that someone should not be upset when someone is careless with so much money. I will have deduct points for this.

I allocate this film three stars, though it easily could have been four.***

Zombieland

2009-10-05T10:27:00.000-07:00

This was a movie that may last two weeks in the theatres, but that could be a long shot. It was entertaining but the storyline was written by a third grader. This movie is about as deep as a a child's portable swimming pool. Apparently, zombies or deranged people that have been taken over by the urge to eat other people. This movie, unlike the amazing 28 Days Later and Weeks Later series, does not explain how this terrible event came from. It does not explain whether or not the entire world is inflicted or just north America. Whatever, these reasons are why movie can not ever rate above average. It is a joke from the beginning. I was not expecting anything less.

Jesse Eisenberg is Columbus. That is not his real name that is just where he wanted to go. Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson, has seen alot of loved ones bite the dust and knowing someone on a first name basis is just out of the question for him. Columbus never reaches Columbus, neither does Tallahassee reach...I am sure you can guess.

The cute Emma Stone is Wichita. She and her sister have been lying and stealing for a few years now, they need to attend confession. There background is questionable but this immorality is also implemented in the post civilized world. They cajole the two men and take off with their weapons and truck. Why they could not get their own car when they are all over the place is beyond me. They are driving all over the country but they are never shown pumping gas.

Abigail Breslin plays Little Rock who is Wichita's little sister. She keeps her sister straight and narrow, especially from falling for any male. Why they think that will hurt them is beyond me. They have gotten this far but ofcourse this is completely fiction. How long they were just sitting in the back of a grocery store waiting for some normal humans to arrive is beyond me. That is just nonsensical, when they may have had only one weapon and there was three massive zombies roaming around. They would have had to kill them or die themselves if they wanted to just hang out in the store. It does not make any sense, OK, this picture has been painted.

Tallahassee does have a wonderful time killing zombies though. He kills them in all sorts of ways but he chooses not to run them over when they are just sitting in the middle of the road way. Another head scratcher. Does he not want to put in a slight dent in his black SUV? He has a snow plow on the front. Is he going to present this SUV in a make believe car show?

Hollywood has produced many hotties. One of the hottest that I can think of is Amber Heard. Her appearance is nothing short of outstanding. Kirst Dunst should never be in a leading role again if someone like Amber is sitting on the sidelines. Though it would not surprise me since the skinny and unnattractive and anti-American Gwyneth Paltrow has tried her best to ruin the wonderful Iron Man series.

Amber is 406 and is so hot, she is still hot even when she is a zombie. I would let her fall asleep on my shoulder on the couch. Columbus was forced to do the inevitable though which is called the double tap.

The two girls and boys make their way west. The two girls want to get to an amusement park. Now this is laughable since they should know by now that lights and noise would only attract scores of zombies which it does. Any they say they only care about surviving, what? They only have to wait about a few more weeks and these zombies would die because of dehydration. Another aspect this movie skirts by.

Tallahassee takes them on a fascinating detour to Bill Murray's house. I wonder if that is his real house. The famous comedian plays himself and he is hiding out in his mansion but he resembles a zombie. He is ugly. He says this is a disguise, zombies never attack each other. Asinine, since they would sense his smell and know he has not transformed yet. But this movie is just silly. Columbus does not know it is a disguise and he shoots Bill Murray in his home with a shotgun round.

These two girls leave these boys and head off to an amusement park. Wichita rejects the overtures of Columbus and says she and her sister only care about survival. Yet, they head to an amusepark, power it up, which attracks every wandering zombie in a 10 square mile region. They are both saved by the men while they trap themselves on the top of a working pneumatic bouncing ride. This machine bounces them up and down while the zombies are clamoring to grab a hold of them.

All four of them survive and are headed off to Mexico. This movie has a few funny scenes but the musical score is absent. It is not long, it is just a goofball movie. Woody does have a kick shooting these beasts imposed as tore up humans.

I allocate this movie one star.*

Love Happens

2009-10-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

It seems Jennifer Aniston is trying to compete with Drew Berrymore in how many different ways one can make the same movie. The problem is, Drew is not trying to compete with anyone, it is who she is. She is a little sweety, Jennifer is trying to compete with the powerhouses out there and come close being equal her former mate left her for, Angelina. Angelina is in some some supreme movies, she is trying to compete for an Oscar. Jennifer is not even close to this. But, Jennifer was a star on a highly successful show for many years running. That is stellar in its own right.

The former Punisher Aaron Eckhart is Burke. Why he did not continue making Punisher movies is something to ponder. I am sort of broken up over it. Hollywood made a Punisher movie more recently and it was just weak compared to the one Aaron made about 7 years ago.

Jennifer Aniston teams up with Aaron in this movie. She is Eloise who at first I believe is deaf. But apparently she is just displaying her ASL skills. This movie is pretty devoid of a strong plot. But it does have character and meaning. Burke has lost his wife and he has transformed this pain and agony into becoming a motivational speaker for a wide range of people. His star is rising fast and his material motivated agent is helping Burke become supremely wealthy. But this is not what Burke joined this movement for, he does not want enrich himself based on his wife's tragic accidental death.

I do not think anyone would motivate me to walk on glass. That is just ridiculous. It is amazing people find comfort in listening to someone like this. One can listen for the story and perhaps get something out of it, but follow someone around like this rather than Jesus Christ. This makes little sense to me. But if someone like Burke prevents some suicides or some other outrageous outbursts, then Burke's work is worth the effort. I would take someone like Burke more serious and closer to being holy if I did think they were in that type of work for material gain. Burke did a poor job of hiring an agent. Perhaps it was just his childhood friend. If that is the case, then I can understand this arrangement.

Burke and Eloise meet in a restaurant and Burke is impressed by Eloise. Despite the fake tan, she is pretty. They hit it off and flirt whenever they are together. But there are some deeper misgivings with Burke. For instance, it is revealed half in the movie that he did not attend his wife's funeral. Why? Only he knows.

This movie is a shaking example on why the animal needs to be hit. Burke's wife swerved to avoid hitting a wolf and it cost her everything. She should have continued on track to hit the animal. Perhaps the quick moving animal would have avoid the impact in the last second. Regardless, one who swerves to hope to miss the animal, can also smash into someone else as well putting others at risk as well.

How does one who absorbes a powerful tragedy turn this into someone who can relate to other people's horrendous events and slowly pull them out of it? He has that inner strength and it shows. The problem is that he is a hypocrite and takes a chance of this momentum he has built from shattering. He has not fulfilled the wishes of his wife regarding the parrot. She wanted the parrot to be released into the wild if something ever happened to her. He has been too preoccupied with handling this responsibility. How does he talk to the masses when he can not even man up and handle his own obligations? I could never begin a career which revolved around urging other people to do things I was unwilling to do myself. I remember working at Univ. of Phoenix and Enrollment Counselors who never completed their degree were trying to persuade someone else to grab theirs. Hmm...

Burke also has had a pathetic relationship with his wife's parents since her mortal accident. Why? I wonder what they thought of his new found career. I am surprised they never sent a letter to the newswires or to a local reporter.

A personal success story of Burke's is Walter. Walter has his own demons since he lost his son. I imagine nothing is worse than this but this has stripped Walter of his entire pesonality. John Carroll Lynch plays this character well and his performance is credible. Losing his son has devastated him, it has affected his professional life, his contracting business has taken a frontal blow. He was reluctant to seek some help but his sister recommended he go see Burke. Burke worked with him, it was rough for a while but Burke was able to get Walter back on his feet. This was psychologically healthy and for the sake of him enjoying the rest of his life, or being able to live it properly, it was mandatory.

Aniston plays the same part in almost every film though. In this one, she does not care for Burke's success or his larger than life personality, but only him as a person. Ofcourse she would not care for him at all if he did not have an income stream or a job. But she this same behavior in every movie.

Burke and Eloise run into each other when Burke feels Eloise is trying to push him in a direction he does not want to go. She is right though, she wants him to go work out his issues and he is too stubborn to do so. Amazing he can talk to hundreds of thousands of people about these life's duties but he is unwilling to walk through the fire himself.

Martin Sheen is Burke's Father-in-Law. In a huge television and live audience event that Burke is giving, he continues to blame himself for what occured to his wife. This is hanging him up in life and it is now showing publically. His recent success is even more amazing or there is something wrong with his supporters. But her father enters the picture, in front of everyone, both men are crying. Burke is finally let off the hook for everyone to see. Burke's father knows it was not Burke's fault, it was just a freak and rare accident. Too bad his daughter chose not to continue moving towards the vehicle.

Despite this movie having a powerful message, it has been done before. This movie is not original. Ofcourse Burke and Eloise make up for their previous breakup and have a final and loving kiss.

Sasha Alexander is a photographer in the genesis of the film. She is interested in Burke but he passes on her, just totally dismisses her. Foolish. Sasha is much prettier than Jennifer. Sasha should have had the lead role.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Pandorum

2009-09-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

Like I suspected, we have another Event Horizon on our hands. And a little mix of Blade II. The real question is, is what we are watching real? We had to ask ourselves the same question as we did in the 1980's blockbuster Total Recall.

3:10 to Yuma's Ben Foster stars in this movie as Bower. The movie begins with him coming alive out of a deep sleep in some space ship. The space ship seems small at first but it is later revealed throughout the movie progress to be a massive vessel. He is a single soul on this ship, he does not know where the ship is headed or how to contact anyone. Help comes when Lt. Payton pops out of his honey comb. This is Dennis Quaid's new movie, it is a far cry from Any Given Sunday.

This plot is mindnumbing and I can not even figure it out after close scrutinization. Bower and Payton begin to work together to attempt to turn the ship around and/regain control of the ship. They believe they are in the outer stretches of the milky way and as far as they know, they may be. Bower is sent to try to connect wires in tight fits and spots and soon begins to see dead bodies. He is doing this with communicaton and help from Payton. Then it gets worse, there is a nasty creature on the ship. It is fast and lethal. Soon, it is known they have little moral character. They are not alone and this creature has many friends. It is a humanoid creature, barbaric, they sleep together, all bunched up, sort of reminescent like the Aliens did in that movie.

Bower makes a few friends, one of them is Antje Traue who plays Nadia. She and three guys fight with these humanoids in several brutal encounters. They do not know each other that well but they must work together as a team if they want to survive.

While they are engaging this seriously athletic enemy that equal the strength of five men. The top fighters in this nasty race seem to have the strength of a Predator but could be quicker and faster, which says alot. Bad ass Never Back Down's Cam Gigandet appears as Gallo. He seems to be some sort of psychiatrist but what actually happens is he is Payton. They are one in the same. This aspect is never really explained but that is typical in many movies now. I do not like it since everyone who sees it has a different opinion on what actually occurs. It would be a novelty if a movie actually explains itself. This part of the movie, with Payton and Gallo, is a farce, everything else was actually occuring. Payton is suffering from a pandorum episode. This is a condition that can occur in space that compels someone to hallucinate and can push them to become crazy.

Payton, apparently, has been playing God. This movie occurs about 150 years in the future and Earth is struggling. There is about 24 billion people on this planet by the looks at the final scene, they have been wiped off the surface of the planet. I am not sure how.

Payton and Bower come to a conclusion that if they can rejuvenate the nuclear reactor on the space ship, they can return home. The movie hints that Earth has been destroyed by something massive, or a stunning event. But this turns out to not be true.

Bower has and adventure and with Nadia, they eventually fight their way back to the bridge and then they have to fight a lunatic Payton. These disgusting creatures used to be humans but they have evolved to survive the confines of the vessel. They live off humans who come to wake out of their space stupor, which is also known as a form hypermetabolic stasis. I was hoping these creatures would lay into Payton, his own invention, sort of, turning onto their helping creator. But this does not occur, the water pressure gets him and the surviving creatures. Most of these humanoid beasts are incinerated with the nuclear reactor is revived. But some make it to the bridge to be devasted by the pressure of the water. That is right, this ship was never in outer space, it somehow crash landed in the ocean with the bridge being pounded into the sediment.

Bower and Nadia hop into an escape pod and they shoot to the surface very quickly. This movie did not want to discuss what would occur to a human who ascends in water rapidly, it is called the bends and it is a terrible way to perish. OK, the good side wins, ofcourse some are killed in the chaos. One by Payton himself after he survived many battles with the deranged creatures.

Soon after their pod shoots up out of the water, about 70 other pods do the same. I guess life can not return to Earth. Hopefully Barnie Frank is not recreated. This movie has life, it is a thriller. There is not any wasted scene that I can illustrate. Payton and Bower, the scenes just bounce off of them throughout the movie. The battle that the struggling humans have with these amazing but horrendous creatures are passionate and enduring. But, the movie did lack some humor and copied too many scenes from previous science fiction productions. I saw Aliens, Predator, and a few others in this film. I do not care if it was made based on the book, the producer borrowed ideas from those movies and tossed them into this one. The idea and script and ending were satisfying though. It was not better than Surrogates, its main rival though.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Surrogates

2009-09-25T20:06:00.000-07:00

This is another high tech thriller from Hollywood. This movie is carried by a megastar in Bruce Willis who is goes by the name of Greer.

This movie catches the viewer up to speed in a clever manner which is ofcourse entertaining. I am not sure what is the year of this movie, I would have to say around 2040. The first moments are 14 years prior though, so 2026. Robotic technology has advanced, with the advancement in about 15 other technological breakthroughs, to enable people live their lives vacariously through a robotic surrogate. Hence, the name. There is a scene where a monkey controls the movement of a robotic arm with his mind. All of the assumptions and ideas proposed in this movie are not that far off. They are feasible. This movie tosses in a breaking news segment that is authorized from the Supreme Court that people can live their lives through the body of the surrogate.

Why would someone want to live this way? Well, imagine if one is crippled or has been heavily scarred in a fire or another accident? Some people would say so what but many others, and perhaps I, would welcome this wonderful acheivement.

So how does this work? Is this a virtual world? No, regarding the latter, I thought this movie was going to be another Gamer type movie. I should not have thought that since Willis is no joke and does not make second rate movies. I am not saying Gamer is one of those but this movie has more impressive acting, has more thought behind it, and is a superior movie. OK, a person lies prone with an eye set on, that pleasantly resides on one's head. There is some other connections to one's body but it really simple to take off and on. I think I saw an eye set like that in another Willis movie called 12 Monkeys but I could be mistaken. The person has a robotic surrogate. The surrogate could look like anyone, I guess there is not any rule to this. I wonder if someone would say something if all the surrogates were black females. But I doubt this would be the case, not to slam black females at all, people would most likely choose to be the same sex and have the identical skin color they do real life. I am sure in certain organizations, they do not want the surrogate to that much of a departure from the actual person. It could affect the psych and if the real person ever had to make an actual appearance at work, it would not the talk of the office.

Willis is a police detective, an FBI agent. But his person does not leave his bedroom. He controlls the surrogate who goes to work and he manipulates the movement of his surrogate with his mind. Would the real person's muscles atrophy? People would have to exercise every day but this was not shown. They did show some of the real people how they actually looked and they looked in bad shape. The surrogates are not ugly, who would want to buy or "become" an ugly surrogate? No one. The surrogates in this movie are either hot or handsome. Greer does not really like to use a surrogate but it seems to be like showing up to work without shoes.

OK, here we go. The movie begins with a surrogate being killed. But it is later revealed that this improvised and scary weapon not only kills the surrogate but incinerates the mind of the actual user. Uh oh. The surrogates are made by mianly one company, like the futuristic Microsoft. This company is called VSI if I recall correctly, I forgot what the acronym stands for. There are some licensed competitors but that is not any point of this movie.

Greer's partner in crime is Radha Mitchell who is Peters. They begin to investigate this intriguing case. It blows up when another person is killed, the actual person, when their surrogate is eliminated. Greer and Peters use surveillance cameras to detect the killer of this surrogate in the first part of the movie is using some sort of powerful weapon. Their investigation leads them to VSI and also to the military. Them seem to be the logical cohorts behind a weapon like this. This weapon overwhelms the surrogate, breaks the safety barriers, and this energy causes a urge of energy back to the surrogates user's brain which is a mortal wound. This is what happens to Canter who is played by James Cromwell. Yes, the same one in Minority Report and iRobot. This man does not care about being type casted.

Canter is the creater of this technology, he brought it to the world. The US military is seen laying in a massive room, prone, controlling a surrogate in another country fighting an enemy with the support of advanced helicoptor gunships. The surrogates are just dropped off by large cargo helicopters. What is the enemy using? I doubt they have funding like the Defense Department. It would be all relative though, the US dominates now and hopefully does for my entire lifetime. Although too many more Obamas and we will be just another chump on the block, begging for cheese.

1/2 a Bond girl Rosamund Pike is Maggie, Greer's wife. 1/2 because she was not a full Bond girl, Halle Berry was the main Bond girl of the movie but Pike still had relations with Bond. She likes her surrogate and this lifestyle. Greer wants to see his real life. Both of them lost their son in a car crash, perhaps this is why she is on so many pills. Their relationship is teetering though but it comes together in the end. In an intense foot chase, Willis uses his surrogate and shows the impressive jumping and running ability a surrogate maintains. It would be very hard for a human to escape. Greer is chasing the man who killed the surrogate in the beginning and possibly Canter's son. But this chase extends to part of a city where surrogates are not allowed. Some humans have cordoned off a section of the city for themselves. They loath surrogates and everyone is magnetically searched upon entering this ghetto. It is called the Dreds I believe. This human pawn is saved by humans and he escapes with the weapon. Willis's surrogate is shot and killed by an old hag with a shotgun.

The FBI suspsends Greer since he was not allowed into the Dred' neighborhood. These humans are controlled or managed by a self proclaimed prophet. A dread locked Ving Rhames who is The Prophet. He spreads his message in a protected radio studio. He offers regular speaches to all who will listen and has some bully looking body guards to boot. They follow this nobody and confiscate this weapon he has been carrying and hiding.

Canter is not happy with VSI. Their relationship is contentious at best. Canter wanted to restrain surrogates on moral grounds but the VSI board found this preposterous. They loosened and cut the reigns tying VSI with Canter. Canter was banished from his own creation. He grew bitter, this was a public fiasco. His credibility tarnished. He returned to his mansion but still receives royalties for each sold surrogate.

Greer's and Peter's supervisor is Boris Kodjoe who is Stone. He is caught up in this somehow. Hmm... Greer determines his boss is dirty and outsmarts him in his own office. I like this movie because Surrogates have some physical advantages over humans but they are not the Terminator. In fact, the strength of the T-800 in Terminator Salvation was just preposterous. It violated the story line, T-800's are susceptible to shotgun rounds, Connor was hitting it with a grenade launcher without an affect. This is ludicrous. Surrogates are not bullet proof and their wiring and ligaments can be devastated by gun shot wounds, much like our bodies can.

The villian in this movie is not only Stone, but VSI and Canter. The military created the supercharged weapon but seized their production and destroyed them. In fact, when Greer informs the master sergeant that the weapon is in the Dreds, he takes off with a strike team and they eliminate The Prophet. But The Prophet is a surrogate. He is manipulated by Canter. Canter has multiple surrogates. Canter is a high tech wizard, it is hard to contain him and his ideas.

Peters is killed by a real run shot. Canter takes over her surrogate which fools Greer. He uses Greer to obtain the information from Stone. Canter wants to wife away much of humanity. All surrogates, which is about 1 billion strong. He wants to ignite some sort of powerful wave from the FBI's secret command and destroy all surrogates, their users for living a fallacious and artificial lifestyle, which in turn will also devastate VSI. Canter is about to do this before Greer tracks him down. Canter must pay a firm for body guard surrogates. I just thought about this. Canter has Peters who is a surrogate inside the central command where a high tech FBI employee manages this tech center. He is tied up though. Canter dies off, he thinks this is the right course of action. The hero, Greer knows this is a murderous and outlandish idea. Greer takes over the surrogate as Canter slides off the chair. Greer instantly unties the computer manager and tells him it is Greer and demands this techie help him out. Ofcourse the tech obliges, he is on the right side. Switching computers, Greer with the expert advice from the obese techie, interupts the process. He saves the users. But Greer allows the surrogates to die. A million car crashes occur simultaneously. People wake up all over the world, a world without surrogates. Greer would not have it any other way, now he can love his actual wife.

Greer never did like surrogates. VSI was not innocent here but I forgot that facet. The world either got real uglier or prettier depending on what one thinks. The actual crippled or scarred people would want their surrogates back. This movie is extreme in its simplicity but it provokes some severe thought. There would be less babies born and the spread of STD's would come to a stand still.

I would be afraid someone would break into my home while I was using a surrogate and just rob my place or harm my actual body. The idea behind surrogates is to become instantly prettier and to live longer. Also, to enhance one's lifestyle.

There was a scene in this movie which fomented some agitation in me. I felt Greer's frustration when his wife refused to show her actual self, invited some loud and disrespectful friends over and they were enjoying some surrogate drug which induced a high. They treated Greer poorly in his own home, mocking him, he ended up beating one down. I do not blame him. The rest were laughing at him, enjoying his obvious aggravation, I wish he shot them with his weapon. It would not be murder. They are surrogates. They are in his home and then his wife was upset at him. Ouch.

Is this movie more noteworthy than iRobot or Minority Report? I think Minority Report is the one filled with the most fiction. iRobot and Surrogates are awefully accurate I believe. iRobot was exceptional and had more one liners than either. Surrogates is predominant but both of these others carried by Hollywood heavyhitters as well are paramount as well. I think it goes iRobot, Minority Report and then this one. The ending in iRobot and Minority Report had more dramatic endings, certainly iRobot did, but this is open to debate. I thoroughly enjoyed Bruce Willis and this new movie was mind boggling. Surrogates was the real deal.

I allocate this movie four stars.****

Jennifer's Body

2009-09-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

I remember when Sean Hannity was arguing with a race monger on a show that I wish was still around called Hannity and Colms and this guy would state this phrase every time Hannity would offer a cogent counter argument: "Here we go again." This is what I was thinking when watching this movie, another vampire movie. Anyone could have played the role of Megan Fox but with her Transformer success, she is probably the go to girl now. Jennifer Check is her characters name in this futile picture.

Actually Jennifer was not a vampire, she was more of a demon. There were some similiar qualities revealed though. I would still toss it in the same genre.

Amanda Seyfried is the real attractive female in this movie. She weighs more than 80 pounds for one. She also shares a goofy name which is Needy Lesnicky. Fox is highly attractive, don't get me wrong but she is not any Jennifer Love Hewitt and never will be. She is not even Scarlett Johansson, no way, no how.

Jennifer is a vampire with super powers and she is doing the usual thing, she is killing people. It is mainly young boys who are her age. Needy knows Jennifer is guilty of these killings but is not bright enough to obtain proof. Jennifer displays her healing powers in front of her and this is shocking too Jennifer as it would be to most folks. It is hard to believe but Seyfried is a geek in this movie. She is not her usual highly attractive self. I guess the producer only wanted one hot girl in this film which is sort of strange. But it is part of the plot. Seyfried has been hanging out with Jennifer since Jennifer is the hottest and most popular girl in school. There does not seem to be a boy of her stature at this remote high school.

Jennifer is not only a vampire she is nasty as well. She uses Needy as a companion. The climax of the film is when Needy's boyfriend is seduced by Jennifer and Jennifer kills him.

This movie is nothing special. It is designed for young audiences. Needy seems to not have any parents, her home is perpetually empty and dark. The same with Jennifer. Jennifer's mother makes an appearance at the end after Needy kills Jennifer. Jennifer's mother does not have a clue about Jennifer's lunatic, offbeat, and peculiar behavior. But this is her little baby who can not do anything wrong.

This movie is about as simple as they come. It is called Jennifer's Body because an emerging rock group thinks killing a virgin will offer them the power to become a popular music group. They do not want their music and hard work to carry them ahead of the pack but they believe Satan is the answer. Jennifer agrees to go with them in their uncomfortable looking travel van after the town's club/bar burns down. This scene is copied from a horrific incident that occured at a rock n' roll event in a medium sized locality several years ago. In the movie, I thought everyone escaped and I did not see anyone burning. There seemed to enough time for members to escape. Jennifer and Needy both easily escape. This band does not even stick around to help out the town members. They just take off with Jennifer who volunteers to come with them. This seems to be the real reason this urban band even accepted this venue.

They are not interested in Jennifer as a fan or as a possible date, they want to sacrifice her for Satan. Where they obtain this idea is beyond me. How they think this will generate some sort of power for them is detestable. How they think they would get away with it is also ludicrous. But this is a movie for people who may not ask these types of questions. Jennifer survives the brutal treatment and the band rolls on their way. One of them would eventually admit this repugnant act years later and everyone one of them would have been strung up. All for the sake to become rich and famous. It is good they will never see either.

This movie was not worth seeing. Fox will continue to make movies and Seyfried will to. Last year's Twilight was only slightly better because it has a few more decent characters. But Twilight was over the top as well, a vampire running from Oregon to Phoenix is just beyond the scope of one's imagination. Atleast mine. This scene was no more realistic than a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Jennifer's Body had one decent scene towards the end when she rose out of this pool and floated about 15 feet above the water. But it was only far-out for about 2 seconds when Jennifer bloated out just one of her many sarcastic comments. Jennifer would have wiped out Needy and her boyfriend if her boyfriend did not stick a large pole through her midsection. Johnny Simmons
plays Chip and he should have believed Needy for what she was saying. Like me, Chip needed a haircut. Horrible murders and events were all around him, what Needy was warning him about was not that outlandish. His better judgement failed to kick in. But who is going to turn down an attractive girl? That is the ultimate question.

I actually liked the ending. Jennifer was an immoral child and abused her powers. Needy going after the rock band will return the favor full circle to that rotten band. Too bad this movie did not have better music.

Certainly I can not wait to see Fox in Transformer's III.

I allocate this movie one star for all the reasons offered.*

Shrink

2009-09-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

This movie is interesting, well written. If you enjoy explosions and action, this movie is not the one for you. Just skip this listing, do not expect this movie to stimulate you. It is like American Beauty and look and behold, who was one of the stars in the movie, he is here too, Kevin Spacey is making another dramatic appearance. This is his speciality. Not sure why this movie does not have monetary support, it just seems a little low key. Perhaps studios are only focusing their efforts on movies like the stunning Transformers II, movies that have more of a guarantee to bring home the bacon.

Spacey plays Henry Carter who is a recognized psychologist. He has some interesting conversations but this is normal, we expect this. He is not happy even when he has an ongoing and healthy practice. He smokes marijuana in remote urban areas with a typical young week seller and many times alone. His friends realize he is experience severe depression. When they confront him and inform Carter that they have arranged a room for him at a reknown treatment clinic, he is furious. He is too good to be there. He is too good to not be able to handle the problems and advice he commonly advises to other people-his clients. Carter's father is there with Carter's close friends and Carter admits his wife committed suicide. Everyone else thought she was in a fatal car crash. Now they know why he is experience internal troubles.

This movie also has a relation to a film like Crash. It bounces around alot with many unrelated characters and situations.

Carter's home is a pig pen. It needs a revival that is for sure. The young kid who he buys weed from is funny. Who is this guy? He is like another Napoleon Dynamite. He is Jesse Plemons
and his name is Jesus. He is the man with the weed.

Another character, one that has some depth is Keke Palmer who plays Jemma. She has having severe issues with teenage life. She is smart but for some reason is not coping well with the world. She has issues with her family, it does not seem like she has a mother to speak too. That is a strong missing bond. Carter is her relief and he barely wants to see her. His intuition instantly tells him that she probably has a real case, urban issues that he knows little about. He is being a wimp at first but he realizes after speaking to her that he can probably learn as much from her as she does him. Jemma wants to see movies with him as a coping mechanism. Carter has to respectfully decline.

What actually happens is that Carter is slowly gaining strength to deal with nagging innate matters that were slowly leading him down an abyss. Jemma is his savior. Her departures centralizes things for him, they make him realize he has the ability to help others and that he is not the only one with revolving demons to deal with.

Robin Williams is Holden, His character is goofy, he is a sex maniac. Or someone with terrible morality issues.

Another character going through a spin of things is Mark Webber, named Jeremy. Jeremy hangs out with Jemma and uses her life story and reflections to write a script. Webber is also friends with Carter despite a sizeable age difference. Somehow this script is read by her, this is a stretch of the imagination. But it is titled with her name and her travails are described in this script. Basically he is trying to enrich himself off of her reality. He should have titled it differently atleast, not with her first name.

This movie is devoid of music. It does have some attractive faces unlike 500 Days of Summer but the latter had an amazing musical score.

There is another charactor plot this movie dives into. It is of a wachy and germophobe played by Dallas Roberts. He is a Hollywood agent, who works hard to put his clients in the best possible films and situations. Patrick is his name, he is a prick but he has the working ability and multi tasking skills to shake up Hollywood. He devotes himself to his task and that is why he matters. But this does not make him a good person, and being successful on earth does not guarantee anything after he passes.

The script called Jemma passes the mark set by Patrick. Patrick actually decides to produce or back a script with depth.

Holden gains some control of his urges and Carter seems a little more level headed.

There were a couple more character plots that I left out. Not all of them merge at the end but they do not have too. This movie is more entertaining than 500 Days of Summer just because of the range characters and subplot. But I would not recommend either to most folks. Both of these films are absolutely ten times better than Cage's Wicker Man.

I recommend this movie two stars.**

(500) Days of Summer

2009-09-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

This is the quintessential female movie. A slow, juiceless, drudging movie filled with endless amounts of dry humor. The two main love birds in this movie are Joseph Gordon-Levitt
who plays Tom Hansen and Zooey Deschanel who is Summer Finn. First off, Levitt is not that funny, he does promote any charisma. What is so special about him? Because he is thin? Perhaps it was the writing but I would not pay to see him in a movie, not based on this performance.

I have seen Zooey before and she makes a solid supporting actress. But she is not cute enough to pull this off. She is cute at best, this movie has very little to offer in terms of attractive females. Why would pay to see a girl which any guy would not bat an eye over if she was working as a cashier at the great Home Depot.

This movie is about a guy who can not be happy unless he has a girlfriend. He is uncomfortable with himself despite having some good friends, emanating from a healthy family, and someone who has their health. Perhaps he needs to spend some time in Mexico to see genuine misery.

The movie does have some excellent start up music with Regina Spector. The opening is harmonious because they have some light humor issued from a narrator. That is unique. But this enlightening beginning soon dissipates and these platitudinous characters take full control.

This movie has a funny narrator which pits the viewer's opinion with what the writer wants us to think. I actually like when narrators in movies because it makes it easy for me. I guess I am lazy when watching a movie, I do not want to think when seeing a movie like this. Though this movie was agony to sit through, that is I did not really, but this movie is different than Seven or Apollo 13. I would hate a narrator in a movie like this, every scene is too riveting and there is too many characters. Narration in a movie with such limited characters and slow scenes, narration is simple. Despite this uncomplication, I enjoy the narration.

Hansen is a holiday card writer and Summer is his manager's assistant. There relationship issues affect the work place that surrounds them which is something everyone should want to avoid.

The movie shares this title since falling in love in the summer could make the summer seem longer. Or it could make it fly through even quicker. Another angle, a huge breakup in the summer could also make the summer seem to never reach its ending point. But the makers should have thought about the viewer since this movie requires alot of patience. Some scenes are insipid and I am wondering if this would be the case if Jennifer Love Hewitt took Zooey's place?

I have to give some credence to the musical director, there are some good songs that chosen for this movie. I do not understand why many movies do not have actual songs in them. I just Whiteout which was much better than this movie, far more entertaining, I think a song mixed in could have been a stronger edition. Do not get me wrong though, Whiteout was Wolverine or anything.

This movie does highlight the fact that what we plan on doing may not occur. How we think things should be, it may not work out that way. We have to be able to change and to accomodate certain conditions. Hanson learns this with Summer, she walks away. She does not want to marry him, the reason does not matter. Forcing someone to marry you is not wise, it will not work out and could actually spin out of control.

The soundtrack is superior to this movie. The movie was almost unwatchable in the first half but it did have a strong message in the final minutes.

I allocate this movie 2 stars.**

Whiteout

2009-09-18T22:06:00.000-07:00

The gorgeous Kate Beckinsale has returned in a mystery thriller that involves a little Cold War historty and alot of cold. I thought this was going to be a monster movie but that is what I get for assuming things.

Beckinsale is Carrie Stetko, funny name for an American. She is a US Marshall who had a tough case in Miami. This movie has a minor subplot which dives further into her character a little more. Her partner was going to sell her out to a high priced drug dealer but Carrie fought off this drug kingpin and then was forced to eliminate her partner when he dried to draw down on her. This event forces her to question her confidence since she failed to effectively read her partner's whims.

Carrie accepts a case in Antarctica. The beginning of the movie shows a series of flags, England and Canada's I believe, a couple of others but not a US one. Despite most the personnel seeming to be Americans. Strange. This post Carrie chose is extremely isolated but it is safe. There are not any drug dealers or arms smugglers here. I am surprised the US Marshalls has a officer in this location.

The film begins with a Russian Cargo plane flying over the South Pole. The pilots have a odd conversation. One of them takes some American liquor and pops the cork for the crew members. The crew members were elated. The Russian co pilot purposely drops the bottle which infuriates the crew members. The co pilot pulls out a hand gun and shoots one the crew members. But he is either slow with the weapon or the other crew members are about half way as quick as Doc Holliday. A shootout erupts, the pilot is destroyed, and the plane critically damaged. The camera shows us viewers a locked treasure type box for several moments. This is in 1955, around then, I forgot the exact date. The plane crash lands without any survivors.

Present day South Pole, their is a multi nation research and science station in full throttle. There are multiple labaratories and with experiements and ice samples being taken and examined. Carrie has just completed the rounds she is required to take around the compound and buildings when a pilot calls in and says he just saw a body on the ground out in the ice. How the pilot sees this body is open to speculation. The body is located by Carrie, Tom Skerritt who plays Dr. John Fury, and Columbus Short who is Delfy, the pilot.

Fury and Carrie quickly determine that this is a homicide. Carrie knows this investigation will be lengthy. With winter approaching, everyone is flying out for what is going to be a half a year whiteout. It is not a whiteout every day, and that is not the best description, it is hurricane like conditions but with terribly sub zero degree temperatures. Walking outside in this weather almost impossible and every structure has a thick wire that connects the buildings. Without this wire, someone can just fly off into the freezing weather and tremendous amount of energy swirling by.

Carrie knows who this person is, the dead person that was found 50 miles or so from their main compound. She quickly finds out where this person was working and attempts to call this station. It is a Russian station in the middle of no where, about 50 miles away. She receives a response in her queries and this man seems agitated and informs her she must come there and he can explain everything. She travels there with Delfy. But this is where she makes her first and almost fatal mistake. Delfy remains in the plane, as she walks to the Russian bunker and begins to search inside. She finds this man on the coach with his throat slit. Immediately, she is attacked by an unknown assailant. She should have gun drawn already. She is unable to dig her gun out from her weather clothes while this man does his best to impail her with a rock climbing stick.

She barely makes it back to the plane but she loses one of her gloves and two of her fingers are badly frozen. Delfy finds her unconscious and tapes up her fingers. She returns to the compound with Delfy, this time gun is drawn. The assailant is not there as they search the Russian research center. As her investigation continues, Gabriel Macht enters the fray as Robert Pryce. Pryce is a UN investigator who arrives unnanounced and seems to want to dictate the investigation. He says he is there because the UN wants to keep this situation from becoming an international incident. But it just started, that is odd. Also, who cares if it is big news. Will Antarctica be embarrassed or distressed? Whatever.

Pryce is actually there since someone has found what is in the box in the buried Russian cargo plane and is tried to auction it off to a arms trafficker they have been monitored. So he is dispatched in what seems to be as fast as lightening.

The Russians or this team is searching parts of Antarctica. They are doing this under the radar. The man who attacked Carrie also had a plane and he made it back to the main compound. Carrie, Delfy, and Pryce find the Russian plane which crashed half a century prior using the maps at the Russion compound. This movie is solid, it is a twister, and has a pretty good plot. Whiteout is a successful thriller, what the characters say has repercussions that appear later on in the story.

With the multi national outpost cleaned out of euphoric and celebratory researchers and scientists, Carrie is still hot on the case. She has lost two fingers, Fury had to amputate. Only four people remain in the comfortable American outpost. But there is still a killer on the lose who has killed three people. Before the planes took off with gear and people, this suspect was arrested. Carrie knocked him from behind as he was killing one of these guys who was searching for this plane. Pryce and Carrie seem to be perfect partners which is a stretch since they have not worked together for that long. They torture this suspect which is hilarious since Pryce works for the liberal UN. This suspect is Australian and demands to speak to his consulate. Yeah right, he talks trash that Carrie has lost two of her fingers. But they later get their revenge.

The interrogation is interupted since he says he has this precious cargo in his gear. While they run off too search this gear, they do not even handcuff him or duck tape him. They just lock him in a secured closet. He mysteriously escapes so another struggle with him ensues. Both of them working together, in the furious winter storm, they disconnect his saftey belt from the saftey wire and he flies off.

Carrie still does know why this man was killing these people and what was in that box. It could be uranium. She searches the flight manifest and realizes some items are not fully checked off. She goes to the bodies that have been recovered or killed and they are cut open and sewed up. She opens one of them and fines what appears to be clear but plastic ice cubes. They are pre cut diamonds since Fury tells us. Fury has orchestrated everything. He wants to be wealthy, but his greed has ripped his integrity asunder. Fury steps outside into the raging storm without proper clothing and as Carrie watches. Good, it saves alot of paper work and tax payer money.

How Carrie is supposed to continue her career as a US Marshall with two missing fingers is beyond me.

The movie's script was intriguing and gripping. Several scenes could have been watched twice. Carrie decides to remain a US Marshall but this matters very little if the movie was lame. There was action and some riveting events. There was not any wasted scenes, I do wish some facets were explained a little more. It was not that long though, Carrie never seemed to smother her makeup despite terrifying events popping up around her, and there was not that many characters. Beckinsale was also the only pretty face. I hope she does not get any skinnier.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Sorority Row

2009-09-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

This movie was full of young beauties but this does not compensate for having a weak plot. It does depict being in a sorority is a vast distraction from studying and concentrating on the realities of the future. Future success is tenuous, what does being part of a sorority do for one? Perhaps it allows one to make some first class contacts while being an undergrad. Or perhaps it gives ample opportunity for illegitimate pregnancy and embarrasing behavior which will follow someone around for decades.

The characters in this movie are almost all devoid of reason, they are shallow. Not one of them dominates any scenes so there is very little reason to name any of them.

The movie begins with a group of sorority girls who team up to lay a steep prank on one of their brothers. One of their actual brothers, I am not sure if he attends the school. It seems he is an outsider, he probably has a nearby labor job. Either way, he is a murderer and should have been given the death penalty for his first degree homicide. His sister, seems to be the charismatic leader of these hot females and who leads her so called friends down a dark path. The brother is one of the boyfriend's of these girls and was not loyal. So his sister decided to play a trick on him. She snuck the girl, during another outlandish party, a pill that induces vomiting. She took this pill to vomit during some foreplay with the brother. The brother freaks out and since the sisters were watching on a covert camera in an adjacent room, they run over and act surprised. Somehow, they take the supposed severly sick sister to the hospital. But they divert to an abandon mine.

The next scene is even more bizaare. The brother turns into a lunatic and stabs the acting sick sister in her chest, his supposed girlfriend. He stabs her with, it seems to be a manual egg or food mixer. It punctures her chest cavity, the sisters try to save her to no avail. There was not any phone service, but I doubt that would have helped any how. The girl was maimed fatally. The girls should have called the police and laid everything clean but the shot caller sister protects her deviant brother, two others do not want to go to prison, one is just too appalled to decide definitively.

The rest of the movie is a copy of the world class beauty Jennifer Love Hewitt's I Know What You Did Last Summer. Someone or something is targeting the unprecious, empty, and superficial girls. Are we supposed to feel sorry for them? An unethical doctor is erased, but is running a brother, not a health clinic.

Watching this movie is proof why this country is in massive debt and the US educational system needs an overhall, along with Medicaid. Medicaid is eating us alive and US colleges allowing this ridiculous behavior is a largely attributable to the US not having its priorities straight.

The movie's soundtrack is halfway decent. There is a small subplot where the leading sister is on the verge to be engaged to the son of a Senator. This Senator has a strong chance to be chosen to be the vice president. Oooooh.... So he wants his son to not be tied to any female with a shaky and stirring background. This Senator has an uncanny resemblance to the current big government promoter and anti American VP Joe Biden.

The variable brother is killed deep in the movie by his sister. Good riddance.

The dishonest sisters return to the mine shaft and Megan's body is no where to be found. One of the sisters, Cassidy, was in Step Up 2: The Streets and probably the only one in this degenerate film with any real natural talent, she has outstanding dancing ability, chose to be lowered down to the bottom of this mine shaft. Yeah right. How Cassidy is lifted back up is not shown? The chain broke when she was being lowered into the dark man made hole. How would the chain broke when it is only holding up 110 pounds is uncertain.

The sister that was killed in the beginning is Megan. So this movie is akin to The Grudge as well. Megan's spirit could be the one who is tapping off her former sisters. This does not make alot of sense since she was in on the joke, ofcourse it was not a joke when she was stabbed. I am sure Megan would react the same way as any of these unprincipled sisters. It seems one must be licentious to become a member of this soriority. Ofcourse looks matter as well but looks usually do.

All the garbage boyfriends pop out in the end. Who is the real killer? This is a copy cat film but pretends to be original.

I allocate this movie one star.*

Blood and Bone

2009-09-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

Michael Jai White has turned himself into a tremendous fighter. I am not sure if this is a recent phenomenon or if he has turned up the heat for himself. He is Isaiah Bone in this B rate film. His nemesis is Eamonn Walker who is James.

Walker is James in this movie is a organized crime gangster in a area in a city in the USA. It could be any city. It is most likely an east coast city but I am not sure which one. He has a posse on the payroll and he has a massive fighter who pummels all opponents. Until he meets the force of Bone.

This movie is unoriginal really, last year had Fighter and the year before that had Never Back Down. Every year I am sure has a similiar film but it seems this type of genre was recently started with Never Back Down. The latter certainly had the hottest girls.

Bone was sent to prison for reasons I can not describe but he meets a guy in prison and befriends him. He is killed in prison, Bone's friend. His friend had a child and gorgeous wife on the outside. He was framed by James and James took over his wife. Her name is Michelle Belegrin and her character's name is Angela. She is stunning. James is classless for his treatment of her.

James wants to hire Bone to fight the world's best. James hustles up some money, $5 million and takes a racist and controversial lecture from Julian Sands who is Franklin McVeigh. McVeigh is an Irishmen who is the globe's financier of malitias and gangster world wide. McVeigh funds third world wars, perhaps both sides. James knows McVeigh through the underworld dealings.

McVeigh has a stud European kickboxer who is a world class fighter. But after James puts up the money to order the fight, Bone backs down. He was not in it for the money but for mucking up the world of James. Bone knows James is a terrible person and killed his friend in prison. He has knows this man should not have been in prison in first place, James framed him. James reaction is all wrong when Bone says he will not fight McVeigh's superstar; he did not have to grab Bone's landlord, a nice woman. He could have just threatened her without her being known and Bone would know he can not protect everyone. Bone kills all of James' thugs in the next 20 minutes. But James knows Bone is coming for him but McVeigh collaborates with James and has his men and fighter ready. There is a stage set up in grand finale.

This movie was largely unimpressive unless Bone was fighting. White should be given some serious roles since his fighting ability is superb. Perhaps Statham and Walberg can act a little better but that is debatable. This fight scene at the end is amazing. It does equal some of the Tony Jaa's fight scenes in The Protector. The Protector was overall superior by far but this final knuckke up meeting between McVeigh's star and Bones is worth the weight. In fact, just skip the entire picture to this scene. It takes about 5 minutes and it is magnificent. The music is helpful as well.

James ends up losing his hand when Bones purposely loses. I am not sure who wins the $5 million. McVeigh does not deserve it since his boy was finally beat by Bone. A sword fight ensues between James and Bone. Again, another over reaction by James. James, for all his lectures about profanity and controlling one's emotions, he is a poor example. He could have just implored to McVeigh that he should win the money, recieve his $5 million in return plus another $5 million as well. McVeigh seemed impressed with Bone and probably would have obliged. James is arrested and I am sure McVeigh has his bases covered. He seemed pretty confident.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Gamer

2009-09-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

This movie is a combination of two movies and the frightening potential of nanotechnology. Jason Statham's 2008 Death Race where he plays Jensen Ames is one of them. The original is Arnold's Running Man which was based on a Stephen King book, although considerable different.

300's Gerard Butler plays a convicted murder named Kable. He is in prison for murder but we really do not. It turns out he was beyond framed but controlled by a power hungry but technological maestro played be Michael C. Hall who is Ken Castle. Castle developed some technology that interested the military. It was mind control by injecting nanobytes into peoples' brains. For some reason, the military disengaged itself with this notion-their conscious took command for the better. It was not that much different, but with technology and not psychology, that was occuring in Manchurian Candidate.

So Castle takes this technology and must have hired construction workers to make a section of the city, perhaps about 20 acres or so, into a fantasy world. This world would have to have strict and secure access to only those who are legitimate customers. This is where Hitch's Amber Valletta falls in as Angie. She allows some fat loser to control her. He only controls her for perhaps a couple of hours a day and only in the confines of Society. In Society, it appears people are riding skateboards, kissing, engaging in lewd behavior, and satisfying people's desires. Angie would not remember anything when her "shift" is over with. The real society views these people as basically whores. It is a stigma to hire yourself out.

Castle also creates an area where gamers control inmates. I am not sure who the inmates are fighting, but this is not digital but an actual violent game. This is not an exhibition. Gamers must put up some serious dough to take over an inmate. This area is about 25 acres or so, but cameras being everywhere like in Running Man were not shown. Viewers can possibly see through the eyes of the convicts as they maim and attack each other. Kable is not necessarily the toughest fighter, he just happens to have an exceptional computer geek/yuppie controlling him. It could help that Kable was trained for combat and knows how to move and flow naturally in battle. Kable's controller is gaining in popularity and is famous since he has survived after 27 "session." Once 30 is reached, the convict is released. The government has authorized this event. This event is paying for all of the prisons in the USA. Not a bad deal.

The convicts volunteer to be taken over and to fight in the game. They are probably lifers in prison. The ratings of this event are spectacular.

Ludacris is a Humanz Brother. The Humanz have hacked into Castle's virtual empire and realize the threat he poses. Castle has the technology and is ready to deploy it. It is nanobytes that would invade our brain, end our free will, and would be linked to Castle's computer dominated brain. It is far fetched, about 30-40 years out, and this movie does take place in the future. How Castle controls this technology, it is not really revealed nor explored. Which, to me, is mandatory if the film wants to be taken seriously. It is not on the level of Running Man, Running Man did not push the evelope like Gamer does and is still longer in length. It is probably as good as Death Race though, but Death Race had a hotter star actress.

Castle is like a Saddam Hussein blended in with Steve Jobs. They-Humanz-suspect Kable has been framed. They somehow pinpoint he had a relationship with Angie as well.

There was a strange scene where it seemed a prison inmate jumped away or out of the prison while correction officers (CO's) gave chase. I am not sure what was the purpose or outcome of this.

Kable is slowly receiving information from a female correction officer. She is not really a CO, this is not really explained. Kable is in solitary confinement for some unkown reason. Kable is given the ability to speak to his gamer or controller in session 29. This computer wiz is shocked. But Kable would actually be a superior fighter if he had full autonomy. There is a slight delay in when the gamer makes a move and the ping which signals to the convict to move left, shoot, look up, etc. Not only does Kable prove he is an adept fighter in the final must see session, he escapes from the game. This shocks the public and infuriates Castle who was going to kill off Kable with
Terry Crews. Crews plays Hackman who is the powerful and physically counterweight to Kable. Kable fights off Crews and escapes.

Kable also enters the Society game and breaks out Angie. This is where this game becomes frightening. But perhaps it is still safer than being a present day homeless person or prostitute. Kable beats up a guy who is about have sexual intercourse with Angie. Hackman enters the picture and actually kills two people kissing. In this society game, these humans move like they are being controlled, like robots. It is bizaare but would possibly reduce the unemployment rate. I doubt Obama would care about that though or any future liberal politician/president.

Kable eventually beats up a bunch of guys, sort of like Keanu Reeves did in his Matrix movies. Caslte is a suck human being, not unlike The Joker. He has a devious plan which involves controlling millions of unsuspecting human beings. This is as mind boggling as Orwell's 1984, perhaps worse since North Korea is very similiar to Orwell's vivid must read and actually persists.

John Leguizamo plays a strange role as Freek in this movie. He is inside the prison as Kable. I know times are tough, Leguizamo has to take what he can obtain. It is a far cry from battling DiCaprio in Romeo and Juliet about 11 years ago or so.

Gamer ends up a mint condition basketball court at the end. Humanz, is a meritorious Internet group operating in a covert manner. They are eliminated by Castle's hit man in the end. I would not mind that happening in reality to Ludacris. Pretty sad if one's fictional character is more praiseworthy than one's actual personality.

The funny lipped but voluptious Kyra Sedgwick plays a media darling known as Gina Parker Smith. She is not cute in any manner but her cleavage keeps half the viewers on point in this movie. This not a film for children and this movie is designed for males. There are many attractive females in this film. Sedgwick's TV character is much more principled as her Gamer's character. Castle is not only taken down by Kable's muscle in this movie but the computer geeks, Smith, and perhaps a remnant of the Humanz group.

Is Butler trying to be the next Statham? Perhaps so. He has not made anything on the level of The Transporter yet but there is time. Hollywood seems to be willing to give him many chances with more to come.

This movie was not that long and many parts were taken from previous scenes. The aspect of Society is interesting though, that is new take for me. Much of the action was fake though, it was like a video game but real. To me, this undermines the action. This movie is not something to generate that much enthusiasm. Albeit the effort was genuine.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Halloween II

2009-08-31T21:57:00.000-07:00

Rob Zombie borrowed a chapter from Jennifer Lopez's The Cell from about 10 years ago in this recent rendition. There is some wicked scenes that are used to depict what is strolling around Michael Myers's squish squash brain. He is not ruminating about how to create a more fuel effiician vehicle or how Americans vote for someone like Jimmy Carter.

Sheri Moon Zombie, who must be the director's daughter, Deborah Myers returns as Michael's sister. I saw the first one but I do not recall her role that closely. She is Michael's most wanted. Michael is being pushed by his dead mother to hunt her down. Michael's pathetic and demented brain has this illusion of his mother revolving around his head. He believed killing people is healthy and moral because of this. He has a simple mind but in the body of a powerful human being who seems to be immune from consecutive baseball bat hits to the dome and several crow bar hits as well. But this is a movie. Michael instantly recovers from this normally fatal strikes and moves like a cat and kills a grown man with deer antlers.

Why do they make an Austin Powers reference to a movie that occurs in the late 1970's?

The movie continues straight from the 2007 edition. Michael is supposedly dead and he is being escorted to the morgue by two baffoons. The driver collides with an oncoming car and every dies accept the passenger who works for the town's morgue. But ofcourse the super fresh Michael takes care of this. No rest for the weary. Michael does not water, food, and certainly not Gatorade. Ofcourse this is the pre Gatorade days, so not even orange juice.

Chase Wright Vanek plays the junior psychotic Young Michael who is also known as Chase Vanek. But the latter name no longer matters nor is it used much.

Malcolm McDowell is back as Dr. Samuel Loomis who is a famous or infamous psychologist. But he failed miserably with Michael Myers. But did he? Myers should have been executed for killing people as a minor but society would not go for it. Michael excapes, is this his fault? Loomis should be blamed for the book though and for putting Deborah's face and story through the mud again. She had relive the events from the first film, two years ago. This film is about a year later and Michael has been in hibernation. He only slices people up and attacks them on or around Holloween. Where does he go, how does he survive? Pure speculation and fantasy.

Deborah ends up living with Sheriff Lee Brackett as a step sister with his daughter. He is played by Brad Dourif who was also in the 2007 prequel or remake. His daughter does not make it through this film and many others do not either. Michael kills about 15 people in this movie. A couple have guns but fail to pul the triggers in time. Some can not run away properly, terror freezes their muscles and inhibits their normal coordination. Whatever, Myers never says award unless it is as a child.

Myers is again supposedly killed at the climax. Deborah appears to take over the killing helm. The mother's soul is the truly evil one. I do not recall how she was portrayed in the first film. She is the crux of it all. She is the centerpoint of this local evil.

Why the police did not approach the shack at the end after Myers was shot twice is beyond me. It appears Loomis's character meets its demise at the culmination. Ofcourse after being assaulted by the Sheriff, and much maligned by the media, his reputation has been in the duldrums for a while now.

It is terrifying and this is the point. There are some ridiculous points but it is not as harebrained as the films over 20 years ago.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Across the Hall

2009-08-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

This movie is filmed in a sort of strange manner. It is dark, not a pleasant film. It does mean it is not entertaining. But it really is not. Not only is it slow and painstaking, the characters are simple and unapealing. It certainly is not a blockbuster nor a movie that has an abundance amount of funds supporting it.

Do guys really take baths? Well, the movie's picture is totally unelaborate. It is not a colorful visual experience. The director mixes up the story line. The ending conversation is placed at the outset and the scenes intermingle but the script is not cohesive. It is not that original and is not as grasping as a Tom Clancy book-not even close.

Perhaps this director deserves a medal for making something though on such a tight budget.

This movie mainly occurs at a old hotel called The Riverview. It has alot of history apparently but that is just a backdrop. Danny Pino is Terry who is the husband. He suspects his wife is having an affair and this drives him to a demented place. It is a crushing blow for any spouse, but his reaction is unhealthy and perhaps criminal. Apparently he married the wrong person.

Brittany Murphy is June who is the wife. She still seems too young or looks too child like to be a wife. She is also unfaithful and her husband evidently did not detect his best friend had something for her before they were married.

Mike Vogel plays Julian who is not a good friend. This movie offers this as something worth speaking about, a little thrill to the audience. The movie begins with Terry and Mike having a strange conversation. When we know Terry is planning something diabolical it is revealed his friend Mike is the one who has slept with his wife. Oooo...

Mike is really terrible. Perhaps the worst one. He is willing to voluntarily sacrifice an innocent bystandard to possibly escape from his devious deed.

The only person I felt sorry for was the bellhop. He is treated disrespectful by his younger co workers and at times the main characters. Do hotels, or certain ones, stilll require that type of uniform to be worn? That hat seems pretty demeaning. Perhaps it is a certain east coast requirement or detail.

The very thin Natalie Smyka plays Anna and seems to be one of the few people in this film who makes correct decision. She does not want any part of this plan. When she kicks Mike out of her room, perhaps this saves her life.

Mike could have gotten away from this sin if he did not leave his phone in the room with June. Though one make escape the punishment of man, that is impossible to do with the Lord.

Brittany Murphy is still pretty, she has not changed one bit from 8 Mile. Too bad her character ends fatally. She did not measure the consequences of her actions though. Her husband is not afraid to go all the way in many aspects. Some wicked.

I am not sure what it would take for someone to enjoy a film with this type of flow and story lines. I did not. I would not pay for it. I would not even rent it. This music is devoid of any decent music or writing intrigue.

To be truthful though, this movie is still superior than Cage's Wickerman and Stallone's Judge Dredd. Across the Hall does have a twist at the end, or an ending that one may not assume or accurately detect. Perhaps there is some justice involved in what happened. But mortally eliminating another human for this reason, taking the law into one's hands in this instance, Terry will be judged eventually. It is unescapable. How does Danny gain the trust of the bellhop is beyond me? If it makes any sense, it is not worth my time to figure it out.

I allocate this movie one star.*

Inglourious Basterds

2009-08-22T22:23:00.000-07:00

Quentin Tarantino strikes again. This movie is a comical twist and story only he would gravitate too. Personally, I have seen enough movies like this. One was just made several months ago when the main character was working for the Nazis. His wife was the sexy Vera Farmiga. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas was the title and the ending was tragic. But some would say it was just desserts in its most horrific form.

Anyway, Brad Pitt is the chosen character in this film and he gets the go ahead from Quentin to play with his voice again, but not as over the top as he displayed in Snatch. When Pitt says "Nazis" it is hilarious. He pronounces the A like it is in the work apple, not as an O which is how it is designed to be stated. I thought it was humorous every time he said Nazi because of this.

Lt. Aldo Raine is Pitt's character. He is from the southern part of the US and is granted the right to choose eight Jewish American soldiers to be dropped off in Nazi occupied France and terrorize the Nazis. They would ambush German soldiers and torture them. This never occured and would debase any civilized military and the people they represent. This is totally fiction and never occured. Tarantino is perfect for this type of movie. But is not any Pulp Fiction. It is superior than the ridiculous kung fu movie called Kill Bob. Even the title is moronic here.

The hot blond Diane Kruger makes an appearance as Bridget von Hammersmark. This is appropriate since she is German.

This movie has long periods of endless dialogue. I would rather them make movie where some bad ass soldiers are dropped off in Pakistan to kill and main Al Queda. But with flying weaponized drones, this is probably too risky and unneccessary.

Tom Cruise also had his Valkyrie movie which we were given last year. I have seen enough WWII movies. Nothing will beat Saving Private Ryan with that genre of film. Atleast nothing I can think of at this moment. This movie was made for the people who never served in the military, do not view Al Queda as a real or evil threat, and really do not understand the history of WWII. Now it is a just a period of time to make a mockery of and relish. Just hopelessly just under the fantasy notion of Harry Potter. Atleast Harry Potter has the dignity and chutzpah to admit it is pure fantasy, the stretched out line of string of someone's imagination.

Til Schweiger from the amazing racing movie Driven stars in this film. He has impressed Raine and the basterds because he killed several Gestapo candidates while they slept. He was on his way to his unpleasant demise at the hands of the Third Reich when he was broken free by the basterds. Now he gets to continue his psychotic mayhem.

When the basterds have to learn Italian in a span of a day or so, that is hilarious. Raine orders one of his team members to begin studying right now, that was amusing.

Christoph Waltz plays a vicious but manipulative Nazi named Col. Hans Landa. He has some serious screen time in this film. His acting is substantial but some of these scenes are time consuming.

The musical score is weak and this story backdrop is quite redundant to me. Pitt is funny though and Kruger is glorious. I would never sit through it again.

I know this movie was goofy when Mike Myers appeared. But this movie is only slightly a little less preposterous as his famous movies known as Austin Powers.

I am real glad Pulp Fiction was not as fake as this movie. It is wonderful that Pulp Fiction was not filmed in the quick and quirky manner as this pseudo and make believe movie. The ending just sucked the acting skills of the characters like a black hole and was replaced by sick chaos. Hitler was protected by much more than just a few bodyguards but this is not even worth saying. The ending of this movie was just a total sham. Landa was given what he has been given out for some time now. But it is just so ridiculous, it was like a spoof on WWII films. I am not a fan of Tarantino films any more and I will never sit through those Kill Bill movies.

Yes, Wicker Man is still worse.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

The Time Traveler's Wife

2009-08-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

Strike one up for the females. This movie was designed and written for them. But atleast Rachel McAdams is present. A beauty like that deserves us to stand at attention when she graces herself with her presence. She plays Clare Abshire who chooses to fall in love with a man who is cursed. He can remain in the same time as her.

Eric Bana is the man who Clare falls head over heals for. Henry DeTamble is this man's name and he has been given something that is completely not a gift. And not only does he he disappear from time to time, his mother dies early in his life and he can not even prevent it. Henry has a genomic anomaly of which mankind does not have an answer for. No one would believe it if he told them. He has to show them his ability to disappear, but this is fandom.

Apparently his clothes do not follow him when he time travels. This aspect was borrowed from the Terminator script. His bouncing around time like a basketball is something that the outstanding show Lost brought to light. This movie is not totally a romantic episode, there is some science to it which makes it somewhat worthwhile.

If Clare wanted a normal life, she should not have married a man who has a strange and one of a kind disorder. That is her fault. She knew this ahead of time and thought it was cool. The repercussions could have been imagined. But perhaps not. Henry repeatedly meets her in a pleasant meadow. When they can not have a baby together Clare is distraught. The baby may have the same twisted gene as the father. But Clare still had the choice to not marry Henry. She is the won who invited him into her life. She bears the responsibility for this. Henry does not even have a job. Did he ever graduate from college, or even High School?

Henry bounces around time and in one scene he is fighting some guy who has some decency. This guy does not like the outfit Henry has on. Henry is dressed like some disgusting gay man from San Francisco. He was asking for someone to display some standards or expect some. Hollywood, in all its liberal wisdom, makes this man out to be a terrible person. Henry wins the fight which must put a smile on the Fannie and Freddie Mac liar and immoral politician Barnie Frank.

This movie is more of a drama than anything. It is pretty melodramatic but it fails to capture my attention. Are these two peoples' issues that important to movie audiences? I doubt it. This movie may last two weekends in the theatres but that is probably about it.

Henry lives a precarious existence. He must steal clothes every time zone he lands in. Sooner or later, he will be shot or possibly maimed for this action. On one occasion, he is arrested for burglary but he disappears from the backseat of the patrol car. Much to the dismay of the arresting officer.

The movie is a lovely fairy tale story. A picture book ending, quite sweet and awefully romantic. Glad I did not pay for it. Too bad is just as charismatic as watching the Kansas City Royals play the Oakland A's. McAdams is stunning as always though.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

District 9

2009-08-16T16:26:00.000-07:00

This movie was unique but had some direct elements from previous films. Not one character in this film is recognizable by name only. This movie had local African actors, both white and black. Ofcourse they could have been local car sales people and managers in Johannesburg, South Africa.

Yes, this movie took place in South Africa.

The main character is basically a geek, a pencil pusher who works for a company that is managing the aliens that have arrived to our planet. His name is Wikus Van De Merwe. He knows how to administer and use white out with the best of them I am sure. But he seems to be clueless in the field.

The plot of this movie is that an alien spacecraft enters our atmosphere and stops right above Johannesburg. The world is mesmerized as one can expect. For three month, nothing occurs. Finally, helicopters descend onto the spacecraft and workers cut their way through the doors and find destitute and starving aliens being housed in large rooms within this space craft. This spacecraft seems to be about a mile wide and about 700 feet wide. It has a circular shape.

The aliens are brought down to Earth and allowed to live in Johannesburg. A makeshift but controlled housing project is set up. It is basically a shantytown. The aliens seem to not care since they seem to be scavengers scrounging around the ground for food and items to play with. They seem to be on their way to some sort of interncamp or alien work station but have overtaken their guards and kidnappers but do not seem to know how to operate the spacecraft or how to return to their home planet. I say this because when they are found, they are in dire straights, scared, trapped in terrible conditions large container type rooms. They also have weapons which are exotic but we can not fire them since they can only be operated by their hands or appendiges. There is a biological controlling function which makes them pretty much useless to us. This is why they are selling them to the Nigerian underground elements for cat food. Yes, this movie does paint Nigeria in a terrible light. Nigerians are known for Internet scamming, but control the contraband and organized criminal activity in South Africa? Strange. Why would it not be South African gangsters doing this?

The aliens seem to be quite gullable and kind. Humans are painted as treacherous and nasty here. In one scene, an alien is brutally killed by a Nigerian gangser while his friends laugh their behinds off.

They are taller than us, they are about 7 feet tall and procreat on Earth. They have two arms, legs, and eyes. They can jump about 30 feet, and can probably overmatch humans on any physical scale. They have a proclivity towards cat food and resemble prawns. Prawns seems to take a derogatory term that most humans give them. They are stronger than humans, some are atleast by a massive amount. One scene has an alien kicking a human to death in a disgusting manner. One human is thrown about 15 feet and about 7 feet in the air. No human could throw another human like this. Perhaps a strong grown man compared to a child, but not another 180 pound human.

This movie raises many questions. First off, this would be an international issue, not solely a South African one. The organization seems to have an international acronym but I only saw South African locals managing the aliens. This movie is film sort of like Cloverfield, in real time, but unlike Cloverfield, people are interviewed about the events that unfold.

This spaceshit hovers about 2 miles above Johannesburg and not one country wants to board it and investigate it? That is preposterous.

So, this organization is forced to relocate the aliens since the citizens of the city are tired of having these aliens around them. For all sort of reasons, I would not want to have them around me. It is just a giant slum and they have been there for 20 years now. A large waste basket. So, a massive concentration camp, tightly controlled, with white plastic cover for the homes and with I am sure aluminum framing. It is more organized and controlled by this multinational company.

Merwe is astounded he is chosen to lead this operation. He is with 1-2 armed guards and another white collar assistant. The prawns are not happy about leaving their horrendous conditions. Merwe also searches any suspicious homes for weapons.

Merwe searches one home that seems to be the leaders or thinkers of the prawns. They find some coveted chemical in the trash and take it back to their lab. When this small compound is surrounded by humans they are trying to find a way to hide this chemical which is put into a metal cylindrical canister. Merwe is searching these homes without any protective glasses, masking, or suits. Quite strange. Then, when he finds this canister he plays with it. It splits and some of it splatters in his face. It has a profound affect on his senses. But he plays it off, continues on his day, and returns home to a surprise birthday party. This is where the movie sort of borrows the script from the movie The Fly. Like Jeff Goldblum in that disgusting movie, parts of his body fall off or tears off quite easily without pain. Like Merwe's fingernails for instance.

Merwe is a dumbass. He tries to hide this but when he visits a local hospital since his hand is killing him, the doctors notices-it is hard not to-his hand is alien. At this point, I believe the aliens have a chemical to turn humans into them. Which is quite shocking.

The company wants to harvest Merwe's body and sell it to science acadamies and companies all over the world. To the highest bidder I am sure. Like Species, which is ridiculous on both movies, he breaks loose and remains hidden for about 2 days. He returns to the prawns shack where he found that canister. That chemical is also fuel for the spaceship. There is a mini spaceship underneath this shanty. This is not explained. The South Africans would have been all over this spacecraft and have confiscated it.

This movie is exceptional in that most of it is unique and has some wonderful action scenes. Merwe wants that chemical when that alien says it can lead to his human revival. This scene is more extensive than this but I have to continue. Merwe wants to break into the socalled multinational company's headquarters and steal it. He needs weapons. He goes to the Nigerian gangster's lair and receives their abuse. But he is willing to buy weapons. The leader of them wants to eat his arm to gain their power. Yes, I am serious. The gangster tells his men to cut off Merwe's arm, but Merwe grabs one of their weapons and fires it. He can use it because he has alien biology. The commanding gangster, who has a similiar character to the Jamaican gangster in Predator II, is impressed but Merwe escapes this time.

The thinking alien has a son who seems to be electronically trained and computer literate. The organization is on to Merwe after his wife calls him. They track his location. This company captures the thinking prawn but they can not find his son nor do they know about him. A wild action scene results. Merwe gets to use the gangster's large robot toy which they traded for for cat food, 100 cans I believe. This robot toys has all the capabilities of Iron Man but sustained flight. It has kinetic weapons at a machine gun rate. Remember the gun from Arnold Schwarzenegger's Eraser, this weapon is like that. He has multiple weapons that are connected to the mechanical robot's forearm. They are extremly powerful and no doubters. They just blow up the human body. A bullet proof vest is just not necessary. Why the prawns never used it against us is probably because it could only get some so far. Human run cars into and use a 50 caliber on it which eventually brings it too it's knees. Merwe escapes and hides. The thinking alien uses the mini spacecraft to escape with his son to the mother ship.

The thinking alien, informs Merwe he will return in 3 years to transform him back into a human. With their medical technology, this is possible. It does set itself up for a possible sequal.

This movie was exciting and invigorating. Not one noteworthy character is seen. Despite this, there is not one wasted scene though. But I am conflicted because several components of this movie do not make allot of sense which I have mentioned. For reiteration, not one country wants to investigate this giant spaceship floating above our planet? Albeit it is quite unique and the action scenes are spectacular.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

The Ugly Truth

2009-08-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

The bright blond Katherine Heigl is in this average romantic comedy which Hollywood seems to pump out about every 3 weeks. Abby is her name

This movie revolves around sex, so original. I do have to give this movie some credit though since it occurs in Sacramento. That is my home town and Hollywood usually occurs in about 5 places in the USA. But Eddie Murphy's movie about 2 months ago took place in Denver and now Hollywood ventures into Sacramento. That is wonderful to see some new sights and cities on Hollywood's radar.

Too bad the baseball scene was not actual. West Sacramento hosts the River Cats. This is a A's Triple A affiliate and their stadium is tremendous. It is actually better than where the A's play in Oakland. I have been to the Coliseum numerous times.

300's Gerard Butler is in attendance. He was sucked into this movie, his agent probably said to put this on his resume. Mike is his characater's name and he takes the idea from the Man Show and does it one better. He informs the public on his low budget show on what men really think about and what really want. He believes he knows everything and seemingly does. His knowledge of relationships is vast and he is not politically correct. Most likely men would favor this sort of talk and woman would detest and abhor it. He does speak the truth but his anti-relationship and belief there is not any healthy and fun relationship misguided. My parents debunk that theory instantly.

This movie is predictable from the beginning. The ending is quite obvious. The plot is this, Abby is the producer of a morning news program in Sacramento. It is weak and boring. The ratings are deplorable. The top manager, her supervisor, says they need to think outside the box. He likes Mike's show and personality and they decide to add a 5 minute segment of Mike's advice and beliefs to the news outlet. It is a success and Mike's popularity soars. Abby, ofcourse loaths Mike and his attitude about relationships. She is a control freak and everything Mike says seems to come correct. Abby can not understand nor admit this.

Mike is supremely confident in what he says and believes and he even decides to help her on a relationship. This only leads to them interacting more and become pretty close. This is OK, but when Mike buys covert secret service communication equipment to tell her what to say on the date, this is incredible. Mike attending the baseball game to help out Abby on a date-ridiculous. Like he has nothing else to do. He is a busy person with responsibilities, this scene is just over the top. Abby putting her hands in the doctor's crotch to wash some spilled soda is not realistic. Not the type of person she is, she deserved to get embarrassed like she did.

Abby's relationship with this doctor flourishes despite the doctor not even noticing how much time she spends talking with Mike.

Mike receives an offer from a station in San Francisco. Abby's boss wants her to talk him into remaining. Mike is invited to discuss his ideas on the Craig Ferguson show. Craig is hilarious by the way. Much funnier than this movie. The writers toss in the word neurotic and that seems to be what they want us to feel. Obsession and anxiety regarding relationships what the characters should do.

Mike could easily form a relationship with someone else, he chooses not to. Falling in love with Abby does not mean he is completely wrong, she changed more than him. She learned much more than him. The question is, can he retain or continue his segment, on any network, while living and loving someone like Abby? Abby was intrigued and interested with him from the beginning. She was a professional and attractive, that was her strengths. I said attractive but not hot. I am not big on her. Where is Christina Applegate? Or Jenny Garth? Those are blonds worth admiring.

A hot air balloon does not rise that fast either. Certainly I am glad most of the movie occured in Sacramento.

This movie did have some decent scenery. The music was OK. But not once did I laugh out loud.

I allocate this ho hum movie two stars.**

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

2009-08-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

If you want to see a movie that is filled with action but devoid of a plot, this is it. This movie does not even come close to Wolverine, Star Trek, and certainly not Transformers II but it is a movie and does have some attractive faces. That is an understatement, Sienna Miller as the Baroness is just ridiculous. Miller is hot in reality but she is out of this world in this movie.

The movie begins in the 17th century or so when a man is being sentenced to death for being caught selling weapons to France's enemy. This man is a long long ancestor to the villian in Gone In 60 Seconds Raymond Calitri. Christopher Eccleston is the actors name and in this film he known as McCullen or Destro. The former when he is the acting CEO but his hidden name is the latter to his covert terrorist organization. He is not like Stark in Iron Man since McCullen is not the one engineering the weapons, it is Kevin J. O'Connor who plays the twisted Dr. Mindbender. He is a master with nano technology. He manipulated nanotechnology to devour entire cities and also alter the human capacity and free will of his fellow man.

This movie starts out good and has some cool action but goes off the ridiculous scale when they show the pit which is based manned by the top scientists and special forces the world has to offer. It is in Egypt, camoflouged by sand and must cost no less than $200 billion. There are several levels, included a massive underground water tank to test underwater weaponry and what not. Transformers the movies are obviously not real but they are accurate to the levels of governments and current technology. GI Joe is just absurd. But atleast people die in this movie, which never occured in the cartoon which we all thought was comical.

Fighter's Channing Tatum is Duke and he does an OK job. He has the tough guy image but his lines are so obviously scripted. He should spend less time in the weight room and a little more in acting class. He is a special forces soldier and is given a task of transporting some nanotechnological weapons. Why they are not more heavily guarded or guarded by the Joes at the outset is beyond me.

This team is also comprised by the funny man Marlon Wayans who pumps up to play Ripcord. Wayans is not an action hero and proves it in this movie but he is funny. He wants to fly planes but is in the process of just ruminating this thought. Ripcord is hurt but Duke puts up a decent fight against this unkown terrorist organization that is soon to be name Cobra. They want those weapons for nefarious purposes. The weapons which are in a suitcase are retrieved by the Joes led by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje who plays Heavy Duty. Echo for us Lost fans. Good to see him in this movie despite this movie being pretty weak. The special affects are so obvious, totally unlike Transformers II. This is redemption to me since I never really cared for GI Joe when growing up, always showing a predilection towards Transformers. Since the latter has Michael Bay on its side, Transformers is in good hands. GI Joe has gone the Triple X II route which was just stupid action with my favorite rapper Ice Cube. XXX II displayed action which was so obvious to be unreal, it just sucks the joy away from the film. Certainly the credibility.

This is where the stunning red head Rachel Nichols is shown who plays Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara. Scarlett is beautiful. The Three Kings Saïd Taghmaoui does not poor oil down anyone's throat in this movie, he is Breaker and is a computer expert. He uses technology to grab traces of thought from someone after they have deceased. Dennis Quaid is General Hawk and he is the leader of the Joes. He is the outside representative to the governments of the world. But his leadership role is rarely seen in this light. The editor of this movie cut his lines short, one in particular that I remember seeing in the previews. Why? This is where a politician asks him what did he call his unit again and Hawk says, "I didn't." The Joes are covert, beyond the Delta Force. But as real as Harry Potter.

So the team retains the nanotechnological weapons after Duke loses about 30 fellow soldiers and alot of hardware. The Joe team does a poor job in identifying themselves which leads to Tatum displaying in pathetic acting skills. I am not sure how his choice as Duke but oh well. Tatum refuses to give up the weapon displaying his inrepidness after Cobra leaves without the weapon they have killed many soldiers to obtain. McCullen is agitated at his girlfriend the Baroness. He orders her to continue the mission but Storm Shadow will accompany her the next time. He is played by Byung-hun Lee and wears white. His nemesis is Snake Eyes who is also part of this Joe team from the outset. He is played by Ray Park. Both are experts with the sword who seem to be able to avoid being shot. Storm Shadow throws ninja stars with skills that would rival the supervillian Bulls Eye. Like I said, this movie is totally fiction. I am not saying someone could not maim or put someone down with a ninja star by this being one's primary weapon and in one scene eliminating four running guards with guns with these stars is just preposterous.

OK, so the Joes return to their myserious base called The Pit and they get to know each other. Duke and Ripcord make the team and show off their skills. Ripcord has the opportunity to hit on Scarlett. Scarlet is scantily clad and running on a treadmill in a massive underground bunker that appears to be teeming with personnel. It appears there is a couple of hundred of soldiers and scientists. This hottie is single and no one is attempting to hit on her until Ripcord comes along, whatever. He is not the only black soldier in the base.

Cobra strikes. The range of assets both sides seem to have is just inane. These weapons would make Predator jealous. Now all of a sudden The Pit only seems to have about 15 soldiers on duty who seem to not be able to press an alarm. Cobra does have a shock wave weapon which can eliminate about 10 men with one blast. The model Karolina Kurkova who has stunning curves is
Courtney A. Kreiger or Cover Girl. Storm Shadow kills her which is just a waste. Not necessary. he could have just rendered her unconscious. The Mummy's and a top enemy in the stunning show 24, Arnold Vosloo is involved in this siege. He is Zartan and he takes hold of the nanotechnoligical weapons after Storm Shadow overtakes General Hawk.

The next major action scene is in France where Cobra uses this weapon to destroy The Eiffel tower. McCullen avenges the French for what they did to his ancestor. His ancestor was a criminal and a traitor so I am not sure how McCullen justifies this. Storm Shadow is the one who fires the weapon which collides with the tower and then devours the metal. Duke jumps into the Cobra escape craft, which resembles Skynet's super fighter craft in the sorry Terminator Salvation, and hits the kill switch. This saves the rest of Paris since the nanobots would have spread around the city eating all the steal in its path.

Cobra has turned a hummer into a super M1 Abram but with more speed. They copied a page from Transformers which is hilarious, the front becomes a collision bumper. This is from the first Transoformers when the Deceptican is just tossing cars all over the high way as he blazes a path after the Allspark and the Autobots and soldiers protecting it. This hummer is being chased by Duke and Ripcord in super suits that have a mini hell fire missiles on their forearms. They only fire this once. What? One shot knocks up the Hummer from the rear, how about fire a few more? What were they planning on doing when reaching it? Snake Eyes was already there. It seemed like they were just getting some exercise and having fun wearing those suits. These suits did everything but fly, nothing short of Iron Man accept that. That Hummer would have been toast despite having its own defenses. It should have been an easy target.

The end of GI Joe is just spectacularly illogical. Cobra's HQ is under the arctic ice in a hideout base that would probably cost about $300 billion to fund. McCullen runs the MARS company which engineers weapons for countries around the world. The are like Boeing, Lockheed Martin, and BAE systems to the 5th power. This is why the Pentagon spreads around its funding so not one arms manufacturer could ever sprout this far and wide.

General Hawk is in command of a submarine, which is not simple, that is the size of 10 Red Octobers. It is about 2,000 feet long and about 200 feet wide. Just massive and it spits out about 40 mini attack submarines with Heavy Duty leading the charge. The Cobra defenses are massive and McCullen is using the three remaining nanotechnoligical weapons to destroy three cities. Cobra has put them in ICBM's which he has. I guess no one in the world ever noticed this occuring. Moscow, Shenghai, and Washington DC are the targets. Fortunately, Ripcord knows how to fly just about anything and Cobra has a few supersonic planes which seem to fly about Mach 10 just sitting around. Ripcord hops into one which were only guarded by two guards which were shot down by Scarlett on a raging jet ski from about a mile out. Laughable.

Ripcord destroys the Shenghai ICBM with a missile from the jet ski. That was some quick thinking. Why he is the only one to think of this, oh well. He chases down two of ICBM's in this Cobra supersonic plane and eliminates them. That is pretty cool, the way that was done.

The movie was action packed. I have to give it that. Even when explaining characters, it was interesting. Unlike Hulk II from last year which was just disappointing. That was even worse than Terminator Salvation.

GI Joe took some losses but saved three cities and millions of lives. But Zartan, with Dr. Mindbender's evil wizardry, assassinates the President while he is down in his bunker and using nanotechnology, his body becomes identical to him. Zartan was posing just like a Secret Serviceman and kills two of them while he turns into the President. Dr. Mindbender and Destro both have metal faces now, I can not explain everything, and are captured. It is said that GI Joe have two knew bases to base their planet saving operations from. This movie never made me laugh despite Marlon's attempts. It was not boring though. The casting for the females was well done. Miller never seemed to be that plush, she was not skinny in this movie.

I give this movie two stars.**

Orphan

2009-08-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

I doubt too many people will want to adopt a child after this movie is made. I wonder if Madonno or Angelina Jolie have experienced this? This couple did not spent enough time before they made the ultimate decision to allow this disturbed child to become a member of the family. They should have atleast of found out the mysterious reason why she refuses to ever remove her necklace.

The sexy Vera Farmiga stars in this copy cat film. She plays the worthless parent named Kate Coleman. The other pathetic parent is John Coleman. Peter Sarsgaard from another strange and unbelievable movie known as the The Skeleton Key. These two easily manipulated parents adopt the bizaare, to say the least, 9 year old Russian girl named Esther. Isabelle Fuhrman is the actress.

Esther is a total nutjob. She intimidates other children and/or harms them. She has the capacity for murder and murdered a nun. The Coleman's have a deaf daughter who is forced beyond her will to hide the body of this unsuspecting victim.

The Coleman's did not complete any type of background check on this girl. Even after the body of the nun is found they refuse to even be a little suspicious of the matter. The nun is the person who most frustrated me in the spectacular show The Shield. Her inside manhunt exhausted department resources while real criminals and threats paved their way. CCH Pounder is the nun ofcourse and her name is Sister Abigail.

The Coleman's kids are terrified and are total victims in this matter. They are threatened with their lives and their parents can not even sense the terror in their eyes and thoughts. No way this is humanly possible but this a pure fantasy.

Esther should not have been adopted by anyone until she agreed to change her clothes and even act half way normal. She proved to be a non team player even at the outset. I do not care if she was painting better than Thomas Kinkaid. Her strange vibe could have been felt 100 miles away.

She plays the gullable and meager parents against each other.

This movie does not have any impressive music. It has a few comical scenes but the movie is predictable as any other similiar horror movies. For instance, his wretched Hide and Seek movie is of the same ilk. Too bad he agreed to a movie far below his ability and clout. But, he could scratch this wish off his list.

This movie was absurd from the beginning but it became Harry Potterish after the nun scene. Esther is probably Joseph Stalin's daughter. He would be proud? Why is she so evil?

The son should have taken those pictures his sister showed him instantly to his parents. I think a child of his own age would have figured this out. But again, this movie is twisted and needs to continue allowing Esther to devastate this family. The Grandma is about as stupid as they come as well. She should have known by this point that Esther was devious and giving her a dollar at that point was not the right move.

Wow, John begins to cry at the end? Are you serious? I guess this is the gay 21st century father.

Karel Roden makes a cameo at the end though. I like that. He has proven himself in many films. Dr. Värava does add some clarity to this movie and shed some light on what is occuring. Regardless, the hopeless parents should never have adopted this loser and wicked child. Leave it up to governments to not take care of someone this dangerous. Though Esther is not as menacing to society as Barnie Frank.

John had a rough ending and meets his doom but his denial and failure to see what was right in front of him, what can we say. I mean, after this little girl or middle aged woman tries to hit on him and dresses like a Broadway tramp, and he still just lets her walk away with just a little threat, too soft.

All Kate can say is stop it at the end. She is devoid of brains and answers and adequate responses. Her husband is just a puppet of this master mind of a child. Russia was glad to export this nasty product. This child is innate evil. But the movie is horrendous. Though still 3 times better than Cage's Wicker Man.

I allocate this movie one star.*

Funny People

2009-08-02T11:03:00.000-07:00

Spike Lee accused Quentin Taurantino of using the "N" word too many times in the movie Pulp Fiction but I am accusing Adam and Seth for using the word "cock" too many times. It is just ridiculous how many times they used it in this movie. Another title could have been "Dying Man" since half of it centers around some mysterious disease tearing in George Simmons's body who is Sandler's character name.

Seth Rogen is Ira Wright is a comic with potential. Simmons has a debilitating disease who screwed up a wonderful relationship and has alienated many of his friends and family. Ira steps in and is ecstatic about this opportunity, this is a step up from working in a bakery. It is a win win. Simmons still wants to work and maintain a schedule but he does not have the energy nor drive to write his own material. Simmons has also accumulated alot of material possessions that all of us would love but since he is a multi millionaire, he has these items any how. So Ira becomes his personal assistant and befriends him as well. They both seem to gain with this arrangement.

Ira learns what it is like to be a superstar hanging out with Simmons. Ira soon becomes entangled into Simmons's personal life. Simmons had a gorgeous wife named Laura played by the bleach blond Leslie Mann.

When Ira took this position, Simmons first wanted to hire Leo Koenig played by Jonah Hill and Ira. But Simmons called Ira's phone and Ira informed Simmons Leo had other things going and would probably not be interested. Later on, Leo finds out about this slight cover up and is upset. This leads to heated rivalry and a possible division between. Leo and Ira are roommates along with Jason Schwartzman who plays Mark Taylor Jackson. All three are trying to make it in the show business world and Mark has a head start. He plays a teacher in a dorky child's sitcom and is receiving some hefty paychecks because of it. He does not fail to let his roommates know about his modest success.

Sandler and Seth hog most of the spotlight in this film. The movie is stormed in the last half hour though by a surprising Eric Bana who plays Clarke. Clarke is Australian and is a sleezebag, he is married to Laura. After Simmons overcomes this grim reaping disease by sheer luck he wants to give this relationship a second chance. Despite Clark and Laura being married and having two daughters. This blows up in their faces and Ira detects this before it spins out of control. The dynamics here are certainly not going to be laid down by me since the movie is good but it is not The Departed or The International.

This movie, is almost like a love story between Ira and Simmons but neither are gay and Simmons knows he was in the wrong at the end. Ira probably should not have gone to the airport and he certainly should not have allowed himself to be sited by Clarke while he was rekindling his relationship with Laura. Simmons messed this relationship up he had with Laura and should have just moved on. Laura gave Simmons a window to intervene or approach her when she tells him that her husband is an adulterer. A serial one with woman overseas. Clarke is an overseas businessman who travels to China and Australia on a regular basis. Eric Bana is allowed to use his normal Australian accent in a full swing in this film.

Leo's career is given some light when he earns a small role in the same show that Mark is in. Leo is ofcourse happy and does not care about this spinning web that his old friend Ira finds himself tangled in. Obviously this causes further frustration with Ira. The climax of this movie is when Clarke, Ira, and Simmons are fighting each other in the front lawn of Clarke and Laura's beautiful home (though not as large as Simmon's ofcourse). Like I said before, Ira should have been present and offered some advice to Simmons but lying about buying some cigarettes and running off to the airport, not bright nor prudent. After Simmons is made to look pretty bad and his attempt to split the marriage fails, he and Ira return home in a tension filled atmosphere. Ira attempts to spread some virtueous advice to Simmons saying he will never be happy because his mental state is off kilter. Simmons rejects this and summarily fires Ira for seemingly making these events worse but Simmons is the one who was playing with fire.

I am not sure if there was ever a contract written up between them but if Ira did not grab some of those flat screen TV's, furniture, art, etc., he is a fool and blew that opportunity. Simmons did not want that stuff and made it quite clear and certainly wanted to separate himself from all this idle stuff.

Ira returns to the mall bakery to work. He jumps immediately back into the stand up comedy routine at the place called the Improv. Ira is funny and this ability is what attracts Simmons again. Simmons appears in Ira's bakery and wants to talk things over. They are both funny and can make this work. Professionally, they both can make an excellent team. In the movie, during a heated exchange, Simmons lights into Ira and says he can hire anyone to be a decent personal assistant. In other words, Ira is expendable. But not really and Simmons realizes this after a while, knowing Ira has comic talent and has the fire to produce funny material for both of them. Ira shares Seth Rogen's personality in some ways.

This movie begins with old clips that Adam Sandler and his buddies used to do to unsuspecting call center personnel. Sandler did this before SNL I am sure. Perhaps he still does.

I allocate this movie 3 stars.***

My Fake Fiance

2009-07-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

This movie is about as predictable as they come. The title and the first 5 minutes unfolded the entire movie in front of me. Melissa Joan Hart is the main character who seems to enjoy or choose to attend weddings where she is disrespected and embarrassed to be there alone. Yet, she continues to give these weddings face time. Jennifer is her name and she is kind of cute. This movie copies some elements from a Ben Stiller movie called Along Came Polly-the uncomfortable wedding scene at the outset is one of them. So I can not even say it is that original. But it's plot is sort of unique and it is modestly entertaining.

Jennifer is having a tough time financially. She bought a home that she can barely afford and her moronic friend makes it quite easy for someone to steal her car by leaving the keys sitting in the ignition.

Joseph Lawrence is Jennifer's unhappy and reluctant partner. His name is Vince and he is a risk insurance agent like Stiller's character in Polly. He owes a local mob boss about $17000. Jay Leno's buddy Steve Schirripa plays The Monkey (as Steven R. Schirripa). He operates a small organized crime syndicate who employs his muscle men to intimidate Vince. The noose is tightening around his neck. Though this entire movie is comical.

Vince and Jennifer both have a mutual friend which is why they are both attending the elaborate and wasteful wedding in the opening scene. In the subsequent days, their respective lives were made worse under financial strain. Jennifer chooses to reach out to Vince and when they meet they discuss this elaborate scheme. The scheme is to execute a fake wedding to collect monetary donations and lucrative gifits to help them out of their predicaments.

The movie entails both of them lying to their parents and friends. It seems their problems only magnify in this light hearted comedy. It is amazing how Hollywood can make such a devious lie and plan appear reasonable.

As the tape reel rolls and Vince is shown wearing the tightest shirts available, him and Jennifer discover more about each other. Vince is taken in by her parents and Jennifer realizes Vince loves to play with children. Though I doubt a 12 year old boy is going to ask some strange man to tuck him in.

There is not one scene that is knockout hilarious. There is about 20 minutes that are quite slow and uneventful. This movie is devoid of memorable one liners or any spontaneous comedy. Vince does meet a gorgeous woman at the AA meeting he is compelled to attend. How anyone could lie to their family and friends like this is incredible. This type of ineptitude, selfishness, and deploration can not even be measured. The movie has a happy ending but the immorality of these two is horrendous. Though it is not as bad as Hollywood making a hero out of Billy the Kid in Young Guns I and II.

This movie does try to compensate for it's misdeeds by having the characters realize their intentions are despicable. They both make it right and Vince befriends his father who chose to not partake in the rearing of him as a child. The movie does pound good will and decency into us but the idea that two people could even consider this ignominous idea does not overcome the virtues the movie attempts to sell us. It is pure fantasy, they would rob a bank together far before they tried to design a sham wedding.

Despite this, it is still 5 times better than Nicolas Cage's Wicker Man.

I allocate this movie one star.**

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2009-07-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

This movie and story is totally fiction. But the most apparent fictional aspect of this film is a boy as ugly as Rupert Grint who plays Ron Weasley having a cute girl kiss him. But perhaps this could occur in the state of AZ.

This Harry Potter version was not the best one around. I had trouble determining the plot. It seemed the beginning never ended. It was not Wolverine nor Star Trek but still pretty good.

Daniel Radcliffe returns as the powerful Harry Potter. In this film, Potter was hesitant and this caused the death of a dear one.

The movie begins as the evil one uses his power to disrupt the real world, not the Harry Potter dimension. This forces knocks down a pedestrian bridge which crosses the Thames. Hence, people die. But the movie never returns to this occurence, the footage just rolls on.

Michael Gambon plays the Professor Albus Dumbledore. Not only is he a Prof., he is the school principal and most protective disciple. Him and Potter share the bulk of the scenery. They are are sort of batman and robin but I am not sure which is batman. The movie bounces around to various locations.

Albus knows that Lord Voldemort is somehow spying in the school and able to travel inside the school and out secretly. He somehow uses a cabinet which has the capability of disappearing. Voldemort has been Potter's arch nemesis for some time and seems to gain the upper hand in this film. This film does not contain a happy ending but an ominous and uncertain one. Not unlike the ending of Terminator Salvation which was a massive disappointment though.

The blond haired Tom Felton makes his presence felt again as Draco Malfoy. Malfoy has alwaysw been a spoiled punk but this movie shows how pathetic he is. It is one thing to dislike school but to begin to kill people is entire new ballgame. I wonder what his rich parents think about that. Probably not that different than Columbines' Harris and Klebold's parents think. Bewilderment and confusion.

The cute Emma Watson is back as the Hermione Granger. Hermione and Ron play even more of a second fiddle in this chapter of the Potter series than the previous ones. When Ron has some success on the broom like football/soccer game he gains an overt admirer. When they kiss passionately Hermione storms off and pouts away as Harry attempts to console her. I am not the greatest mind reader of woman but I never thought she had a thing for Ron. I think the audience is waiting for her and Harry to form a union. It would be better if they just got that over with and allowed Ron to have a girlfriend of his own if the creater wanted to avoid any awkwardness.

The garish and pompous Draco has allowed his weak self to be manipulated by Voldemort. Potter senses this and confronts him in the bathroom. They have a magical shootout and in this movie, which is a rarity, good triumphs evil. After this, it is downhill from then. Potter uses his power as Draco displays his foolish emotion which is why Voldemort targeted him in the first place. This is predictable. Those strikes are powerful from the wand and Potter puts multiple holes in Draco. As Professor Severus Snape played by the Die Hard villian Alan Rickman comes rushing into the scene. Potter has suspicions that Snape is evil and this is revealed in the outset when he is having a conversation with a few of Voldermort's despicable disciples. Snape uses his powers to heal Draco, therefore he survives.

Dumbledore seaks out Potter as he has been tasking him and bringing him along throughout this film. They are looking for Voldemort's lair. They find it and this leads them back to the tower house which this movie has been before. Dumbledore returns weakened because of lack of thirst and orders Potter to inform Professor Horace Slughorn of what they have learned. Slughorn is played by Jim Broadbent who I have never heard of. This is his first Potter film and the new character presented to us. He seems to be clueless of the events surrounding but he is critical since he knew Voldermort as a teenager just as he was considering going off the deep end. Someone should have killed him then. I believe society should be more proactive in its dealings with evil. Tom Riddle, played by Frank Dillane, is Voldemort as a teenager. He is twisted from genesis. When Dumbledore meets Voldemore as a 6 year old, it reminds me when Magneto and Professor Xavier meet The Phoenix as a child. Both end up having similiar power. Though this boy is pure evil, The Phoenix is an alter ego.

Well, Potter does not do as he is told. Too bad they do not have cell phones since Potter could just call for help to Slughorn or anyone else while spying on the unfolding events. Malfoy attempts to assassinate Dumbledore but does not pose the strength. Potter chokes here, seeminly to be more of a spectator rather that someone who can take initiative. Snape appears and Potter does not say anything. He chokes again. Voldemort's evil posse strolls in and it appears Dumbledore is in trouble. He is. Snape kills Dumbledore with a lethal strike. Potter then engages the evil team and is put in check. They could have killed Potter here and they should have but they are greedy and reckless. They miss their opportunity. Ofcourse why is Dumbledore doing all this sneaking around without sufficient backup? He is the lone ranger when it does not appear that is necessary. Does Potter have time for home work?

The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Professors and students step out and see their cherished leader dead on the front lawn. The see and sense evil lurking overhead and they unite their wands in unison towards the mocking evil face. Evil backdowns.

Snape and Malfoy and rest of this iniquitous bunch have already marched off to their covert dungeon to plan their next attack. Potter informs his friends he wants to fight Voldemort on his own and pursue this menace. Hermione Granger battles this thought by saying he needs them and they should continue and behave as a team.

With a name like Snape, he could only be on the right side for so long. I would like to see his place in the previous films. Did he fight for Potter? Alan Rickman has been a villian in Robinhood as well, so this is nothing new to him. Hogwarts needs to recruit a security team.

Again, this redactive Potter film shows little musical introduction. The special affects were decent but nothing we have not seen before. I would have to say this may be one of the weaker Potter movies in this highly lucrative running series.

I allocate this film three stars.***

I Love You, Beth Cooper

2009-07-17T17:51:00.000-07:00

This fool Paul Rust who plays Denis Cooverman gives the most awful High School Velectorian speech ever. It was in poor taste, it was elementary and in reality he probably would have been stopped after the first few ridiculous statements and awkward moments. Naming someone and speaking controversial about them in front of everyone is certainly a no no. He would humiliated himself but this is fiction. Only one the teachers spoke to him about his disgusting speech which was in poor taste afterwards. But this is pure fantasy.

Hayden Panettiere is the gorgeous Beth Cooper. She has come along way from Remember the Titans. Too bad the show Heroes is a copy of vampire movies and many others. It is no Lost.

Denis actually speaks to Beth after the speech as she takes her gown off and displays her plump figure. Which in this day and age since total thinness is what is usually shown on the screen in this era. Denis hastily invites Beth to his make believe party that night. It is unlikely for her to show but this is the plot of the movie.

The army man has the hot girl in this movie. Too bad he is willing to toss it all a way in this preposterous film. Beth's boyfriend is Sgt. Slaughter and he drives a hummer. Most ROTC folks in High School do not have the money to afford a hummer. This movie is total fantasy. But I guess they wanted to get rid of the typical football storyline. Whatever.

Beth and two cute girlfriends of her arrive at his home. Apparently, this High School does not have any designated graduation party for the students. When the three girls are about to leave this dead home, Beth's deranged boyfriend appears in his magnificent ride with two of his want a be special forces comrades. Denis totally made a fool of himself along with his friend at his home. They allowed the girls to find the strip of condoms Denis's father left for him. Bizaare.

Beth's boyfriend tracks her down at drives on Denis's lawn in complete violation of any decency standards. He is a bully who does not belong in anyone's military, perhaps Russia's. He is not a leader and an emotional idiot.

This buff dummy pursues Denis and gains entry. Why the police are not called is something Hollywood could answer. The five of them escape with the three terminators trying to run them down and tackle the car. Unbelievable. This only pushes the girls further away.

Jack Carpenter plays Rich Munsch. I know you never heard of him, Hayden is the only star in this movie. Rich says he is not gay but says some strange things that could be construed as gay. He denies this but it is borderline. Rich does end up walking with the two girls as they leave Beth and Denis alone. The movie is dull and void of any imagination. Until the three girls and two dorks drive drive off and see a parked car with Denis's parents getting out. Why they do this like they are 18 is beyond me. The chances of Denis seeing this is by far remote and why he admits to the people in the car who that is is fundamentally shocking. He should have just urged Beth to drive off or turn around.

The movie does mix in some music but the sound score is weak. I would not buy any of those songs. School is out for the summer has been used before. Dazed and Confused most notably and that movie blew this one out of the water.

What does Denis think is going to happen when he calls this punk out in front of everyone earlier in the day?

The five of them eventually end up at a party and the so called army joes meet up with them their. Beth steals her psychotic boyfriends car and breaks up the violence by crashing it into the living room serving as a dance floor. The football coach and/or top P/E teacher proves his disastrous role model leadership by allowing Beth's boyfriend to cream Denis. Some large fat boy defends Denis and fights off the attackers in a comical brawl. The lead army boy does display a solid round house kick though.

Denis proves his geekness time and time again. Rich demonstrates his cheerleading skills which impresses the two tag along friends. He finally kisses Beth at the end in this redundant storyline movie. Denis's speech, at the outset, appeared so fake I knew the movie was going to amount to nothing. It was a calamity and the plot was a black hole devouring any inkling of excitement.

I allocate this movie no stars.

Bruno

2009-07-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

The disgusting clown Sacha Baron Cohen is back in another bizaare comedy. This time the movie is called Brüno. He should have completed another Borat film. Since Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was far superior than this one.

I am not sure where Cohen evolves from if he has evolved. The gay scenes in this movie are beyond over the top. It is caricature of the gay lifestyle and existence. I am not sure they are offended or what. This movie is not worth $1 and I am surprised if it extends passed the first weekend of its opening. There are some pathetic folks out there who would pay for this film but not enough to be considered a success. This movie does not warrant an extensive blog since it is devoid of any deep thought.

Cohen is a nasty fellow. The plot is this: he is gay and he wants to become world famous. He does not have any talent to speak of and he is wacked out of his mind. He asks for advice but when talking to people he acts so bizaare it is ridiculous.

The scene when he took the small black child onto the day time talk show was hysterical. That was hysterical. I thought one of the audience members was going to slam him to the ground for his treatment of that child.

Later in the film, he realizes that it could be easier for him to become famous if he was not gay. But he still acted gay with the military, some hunters, martial arts expert, among some other scenes.

How did he gain permission to spend some time at OCS in the army? That is hard to believe the military accepted that request.

This movie was absolutely pointless but inane or devious comedy depending on what one's perspective is. This movie is like a sick jackass. He did become famous at the end or infamous. This pertains to what one's views on homosexuality. In a cage fighting event, being gay is not the image that is promoted nor tolerated in an event such as this. But this is the movie's zenith, and it was sort of unexpected until they stopped fighting. The TV, hunting, and military scenes were funny, I have to admit. But this is a far cry from Borat.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Public Enemies

2009-07-09T04:06:00.000-07:00

I would not have known this was a Michael Mann movie if I did not see his movie listed on the advertisement. It is good to see a Johnny Depp in a movie that does not involve sail boats and talking skeletons. He plays the real life gangster John Dillinger. Hollywood has depicted every other outlaw in gangster lore, next up is this charismatic murdered. Atleast he was not glorified like Billy the Kidd was in Young Guns I or II. Mann portaryed Dillinger as the ruthless thug he was.

The movie begins with Dillinger and his psycho co-horts escaping from a desert prison. I do not understand why the tower guard did not get off more shots since he had the high ground and cover? Oh well. He does get one strike. Dillinger's brother dies in the escape and this gives Mann the chance to show the audience how odious Dillinger is. Dillinger blames this incident on one of the escapees and kicks him out of the movie vehicle after punching him a few times. This movie seemed to very fast moving. The dialogue was fast and the scenes were jumpy.

Dilinger and his badass brethren forced the US government to create a federal task force. This soon or immediately morphed into the FBI. Since Dillinger and his bank robbing buddies were jumping state lines. I do not blame them. Hard to believe the private sector is ahead of the government in ideas.

The hero is presented to us at this point. Here comes Batman's Christian Bale who happens to play Batman. Bale is busy these days but it still unnerving to me that Terminator Salvation was a halfway meltdown. I mean the ending had Arnold being the size of the Hulk, just stop it. This movie went over the top as well though with the Tommy Gun. They made this movie seem like it was three M-16's in one. The sound was terribly loud, it was an automatic weapon but it was not that ferocious.

Melvin Purvis is the Wyatt Earp of this film is Bale's part. I was impressed a little with Bale's accent change. He did sound of a midwesterner and concealed his English accent pretty good. Moving on, Purvis is granted wide ranging authority to pursue and perhaps shoot down Dillinger and his terrorizing bandits.

Dillinger is receiving his intel from Giovanni Ribisi's Alvin Karpis's character. Karpis meets him in public places and offers him information that could lead to a promising and clean get away. If there is a shipment of $100's of thousands of dollars, Karpis tips Dillinger off of this. Whether or not Dillinger acts on this information is up to him.

Purvis's men use their sharp investigative techniques and capture Dillinger. Dillinger is transfered to a prison in Indiana since it seems the powers at be believe Dillinger's captivity near Chicago would create a media frenzy. Well, in Indiana, Dillinger escapes with the help of his lawyer's arguing tactics and loyal friends. They bust him lose and Dillinger responds robbing another bank. This escapes allows further mayhem on the streets and allows for more innocent folks to be killed.

Dillinger falls in love and the movie is sidetracked with this. This lengthens the movie and waters it down. These scenes are boring and have been done in so many other movies. Totally unorginal, the ending occuring in mid stride. Purvis recruits further G-men as they are called and the hunt is on. The cat and mouse is somewhat interesting. Dillinger is excellent at escaping from prisons but he spends money as fast as it comes in and does not seem to want to take his cash down to Mexico and live comfortably ever after. How about Panama? Whatever. He remains in the same area living with his head on a swivel when he can not even relax and watch a movie without sensing some heat.

Purvis and his boys track Dillinger and his outlaws to a forest cabin after another brazen bank robbery. Purvis and his co workers run them down and shoot all of them it seems accept Dillinger. Dillinger is eventually gunned down in the street after leaving another theatre. He must have enjoyed movies as much as I do. Too bad Transformers II was not playing in the early 1930's.

The movie was hard to follow and at times as dry as a roasted chestnut.

Glad I did not pay for this film. Dillinger's girlfriend was nothing to go gaga over which is another indication of this movie being nothing to holler over. Bale's 2008 Dark Knight is still carrying him among many other spectacular movies. This is not one of them. Wolverine, Star Trek, are some of the high marks of the year.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

The Money Pit

2009-07-04T21:41:00.000-07:00

This is the movie that should be viewed for all potential home buyers. It is an exagerrated movie on many fronts but it is funny and purposeful nevertheless. Tom Hanks stars in this movie with the highly annoying Shelley Long. She is annoying in this movie as she was in Cheers and from what I hear, she is that way in real life. Not a really personable, seemingly useless, and spoiled. Why men just obey her has always stumped me. For instance, she orders Hank's character, her pretty much fiancee Walter Fielding, Jr. to go get some water. Why can she not get the water?

Anna Crowley Beissart or Anna Fielding is her name in this hilarious movie. She is not funny at all but Hanks is hilarious. I forgot how funny he could be. He should do another comedy. But his dramas have proven to be blockbuster as he has made some of the best films of our day. Apollo 13 probably taking the cake for me.

This movie has a couple of other characters but they do not mean that much, certainly not now and probably not then.

Walter is a lawyer and Anna is, uhhh, a skinny blonde. She plays in an orchestra but this probably just pays for her gas and the violin. Walter and her have been living in her maestro's apartment while he has been on tour in Europe. Apparently, they did not find another place to live in a year and the maestro just barnstorms back into his home. He has the right to, that apartment is his. So Anna and Walter have about 4 days to find another place to live. Why they can not move into another apartment is beyond me, they act like it takes months to move into a place which is absurd. Perhaps a nice place that suits their tastes but their are a variety of options. Another thing is that it seems like they have not saved a dollar for this inevitability. Did they think they would be able to live for free forever? I guess Walter did not have any problem with sleeping in his girlfriend's former boyfriend's room and living in his home.

Walter contacts a real estate agent he knows and this real estate has just finished escaping some legal issues. This agent recommends a home for them. Walter and Anna drive out to this home and it is majestic. It appeals to Walter since it is $1 million home selling for $200 thousand. Walter obtains this money from a child superstar to purchase the home.

The home is one hour away from the city where both of them work. That is one issue but its apparent beauty defeats this long commute. Within one day of living in this home, things begin to fall apart on them. Walter and Anna did meat the homeowner, a single old woman who quietly only shows them the parts she wants them to see and they do not even ask to turn on the water and look around a little. A terrible inspection. The first day they move in, they realize the steps on the staircase are weakening, the plumbing is in shambles, and the mattress in the master bedroom is frighteningly warped. In fact, the master bed needs to be replaced.

The second day, the front door falls off its hinges. Within the first week, the house has a flood of leaks, the electrical system in the house does not work and actually is dangerous to be around. The staircase completely falls apart, and large sections of the house need completely new wood and carpentry work. These scenes show the pitfalls of buying a home without even conducting a cursury inspection. They do not even have a car, so they have to rely on the train. 9 hour days turn into 13 hour debacles.

Walter is a decent handy man but with a lazy female partner who is utterly useless, he is in over his head. He must pay the utility guys a bribe to even arrive at his home. This is a joke but whatever. He must get permits to get his plumbing fixed? Not real but it is a fantasy.

Walter laughs so hard when his floor falls through when trying to fill up the bathtub with water, it is hilarious. I have not seen a Hanks in a comedy in a while, his talent and charisma is sparkling. The funniest scene though is when Walter sinks into the the second floor and is trapped in his own rug. The rug is preventing him from falling 15 feet downward to the wooden floor. Anna can not even find him when she returns about 9 pm that night which only adds to their cluster mess. It is the highlight of these scene. The so called permit man walks away since Walter can not answer the door due to his house imposed entrapment.

To illustrate the impractical nature of Anna/Shelley, when they finally get the repairmen to come work on the myriad of issues with their home, she is dressed as if she is at a fancy concert. Strange men all over, in and out of her home, dust, dirt, her driveway has already been torn apart, her judgement is questionable at best. One would think she is atleast sweeping her room or helping the painters paint her home the colors her and Walter prefer. It is a funny though. No way all these people would be at the home simultaneously but the movie drives home the point it is trying to make.

This movie slipped through the cracks. I was growing up and this movie was not a must see when this movie was fresh on the scene. Seeing Shelley Long in Cheers, I am not sure too many other people wanted to see her on the silver screen as well. This movie was not that long, pretty simple, but entertaining. Devoid of spectacular performances, a world class plot, or any magnificent lines, it was not devastating either. The musical score was empty but whatever.

I give this movie two stars.**

My Sister's Keeper

2009-07-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Abigail Breslin plays Andromeda 'Anna' Fitzgerald who hires an ACLU attorney Campbell Alexander played by Alec Baldwin to unchain her from her mother's complete control. Her mother is Sara Fitzgerald played by Cameron Diaz. Diaz is obstinate and totally unyielding when she has made her mind up. This role she plays here is not unlike the role she played in the amazing and possibly best sports movie of all time-Any Given Sunday.

The situation is complicated. The Family issues runs deep. Anna hires a lawyer because is tired of being put under the knife to support her dying sister. Sofia Vassilieva plays
Kate Fitzgerald who is suffering from an array of issues. One of them is leukemia. Is Anna being selfish or just looking out for her own health?

Baldwin is vocal proponent of leftist policies despite evidence they are ruining entire nations and CA is about to callapse because of them, he is probably a member of the pedophilia protectionist group called the ACLU in actuality. In this movie, I actually agree with his side, in this particular case. He takes up this case when Anna strides into his office and explains her case to him. She pays him a little over a $100 so it is not entirely pro bono. But I am sure he relishes the spotlight.

Sara is beyond adament. In one scene she has to be physically manhandled by her husband Brian Fitzgerald whose role is consumed by Speed II's Jason Patric. Jason and the entire world are informing Sara that her daughter is dying and perhaps does not even want to experience another operation which will mostly be a waste of time. According to Brian, Kate has informed or insinuated to Sara that she does not want persist in this manner. Her quality of life has been depleted, she has not attended school regularly for a long for instance.

The movie is narrated by every major character in this movie. This add some substance and allows the viewer to gain a feel for every character's perspective. Another way to convey understanding.

I enjoyed the musical score. It was not extensive, but some hip hop and even Regina Spector had a song played in this movie. She is an outstanding musician. Regina's music is in commercials and now here on the silver screen. I am happy for her. She does not seem to be the egotistical human being that Madonna is.

Sara just does not get it. Campbell is only person who is trying to inform Sara that she is on the wrong track. The case goes to the courtroom where Sara is screamed at by her son Jesse Fitzgerald played by CSI Miami 's Evan Ellingson. This is the culmination of the movie but Sara still can not accept the fact that her daughter's body is being ravaged by this disease that medical science does not have an answer for. No one is saying, and I am not saying that a mother should not care for her dying daughter or sick daughter, but there comes a point where one needs to let go.

Anna's point, and Campbell's as well is that Anna is not being looked out for and these operations, including bone marrow, could be debilitating towards her as well. This movie is not that exciting but does sprout some interesing ideas. It is original unlike so many other movies made. Sara understand her sister's point of view but does not have the guts to inform her mother that she does not want to fight any more. She should not have to. Her mother is failing and does fail in detecting this not so subtle hints. I mean, Kate illustrates her frame of thought during a heightened and pivotal family meeting at the dinner table one night. Sara never asked Anna if she wanted to go through these operations and procedures for her daughter. That is wrong but Sara completely flops when she continues to drive down the same road when so many forces are explaining to her, including the doctor, in a variety of ways, that she will lose one of her children.

Anna's medical history seems to suggest she was conceived to be chopped liver for her sister. Sara supported Anna's lawsuit since Sara did not have the courage to fight with her mother. The movie did have a funny scene when Campbell, in the courtroom, told his dog to shut up and called him Judge since that was his name. The actual judge was alarmed and called him out on this. Apparently, this dog had to be with Campbell since this wonderful dog was a service dog, he barked when Campbell was on the verge of an epileptic attack.

Diaz performed well, as did every character. Baldwin seems content in Hollywood without taking on any leading roles. The movie was mainly entertaining. There were some dull scenes. It was not that sad since I knew the daughter was going to die from the outset.

I allocate this movie three stars.***

Year One

2009-06-26T03:48:00.000-07:00

Jack Black is in another hilarious movie. He plays Zed who is a lazy and incompetent hunter. The movie begins in what appears to be about 40,000 years ago in North Africa. But after Zed escapes with Michael Cera who plays Oh, they meet some farmers so the time frame leaps forward to about 2500 years ago. Cera is from Superbad and he continues the same monotone voice but he is funny. I think the directors have a lot of credit with that though, since it is more of the situations he is in, rather than his own doing. Unlike Jim Carry who is funny in an empty room and no props.

Zed and Oh are not really friends but they communicate since they are both losers. I am surprised they are allowed to eat since they are totally unproductive. No way Zed would he that physically pathetic but it is a movie and that is part of the hilarity of the movie. June Raphael is Maya and is coveted by Zed. But Zed can not provide anything to her and is just innocently flattered of his overtures toward her. Oh is interested in Eema played by Juno Temple. She is cute and Cera plays the same role now he has in many movies. Hey, it is paying his bills and probably pretty lucrative for him. As long as someone is paying him to play the identical character, he should be smiling all the way to the bank. Oh does not have the guts to ask the girl out and he just screws it up with his dance routine. Zed and Oh take off for a long walk and come across the forbidden tree. No one is supposed to eat fruit from this tree. This plot is borrowed from Adam and Eve. Zed is feeling pretty rebellious and he eats one of the apples from the tree. One of the clan members witnessed this supreme violation. Oh and Zed are expelled from the clan.

This does not bother Zed that much since he wants to find out if the world gives way on the other side of the mountain. It does not. Oh and Zed meet up with Cain and Able. Cain murders Able in funny scene. It is made to be funny, it is not brutal at all if one can ignore the fact that someone was murdered. Oh and Zed leave this town and continue on their adventure. Cable leads them away and explains to them that they could be held accountable since they were right near him during the despicable act.

Zed has a chance to persuade a gorgeous lesbian to have some fun with him but he can not even manage this. If Zed was a company his stock would be a perpetual penny stock.

Oh and Zed become separated from Cain when they come to a trading post. This is when they recognized their former clan members have been taken against their well and are now slaves. Maya and Eema are linked by chains and ofcourse these two wandering baffoons aim to free them. They are not in a seemingly Roman controlled area so the time frame jumps forward by a couple of centuries.

Zed and Oh argue their way to a town called Sodom and Gomorrah. This is after they walk away from a town where the priest has vowed to circumcize them. This is after they stop Isaac from being sacrificed by his father. Christopher Mintz-Plasse is Isaac and he looks as ridiculous as his old acting ally Cera. Jack Black has taken Superbad to the distant past. This movie is hilarious. There are a few slow scenes but many others are creative and wildly entertaining. The movie is just rolling through many of the stories we know, or the ones you should know, but is not criticizing any of them nor trying to make any point. The movie is a comedy and not controversial at all.

Maya and Eema are both slaves and Oh and Zed continue to inform them and plead with them to hang in their. They will free them from their flight. Oh is so pathetic though, he is smart but only book smart. This type of strength is pathetic in most situations and he lacks the resolve to actually come through. Eema is a fool for even considering the notion that this soft boy will save her. This aspect is exhausting but the movie is funny so the viewer can roll along with it. Both these fragile souls would have died along time ago in this period of time.

Zed and Oh become part of the security force in this Roman controlled town and this is just hilarious. They have no military bearing and their about as disciplined as I am around a sitting pumpkin pie. They meet Oliver Platt who is the High Priest and he is a sick human being with strange indulgences. This town is paganistic with little moral fiber.

The gorgeous Olivia Wilde is Princess Inanna in this town. She has her sights on Zed because she believes he has courage. It is not courage it is stupidity that flows through him, he does not even recognize when he should bow. Zed talks and acts like he wants to meet a gorgeous woman and here he has the princess who is stunning and just ruins his chances. The only thing he is good at is consistently finding new ways to get him and Oh in massive trouble. Their lack of sense is funny and when they are in mortal danger, we can just laugh at these morons.

Zed and Oh are both outwitted and enter the town's sanctuary. An area that no one enters, it is supposedly holy. After they are captured, they are propped up to be stoned to death the following day. Zed actually displays some wit here and outsmarts the cheif law enforcement official by requesting only one person can hurl stones their way rather than the entire force of the town. Zed continues this prudence and the town rallies around him. Zed and Oh are then ordered into a lifelong occupation of servitude. Oh questions how this is better when Zed cheers with the crowd like a baffoon. But they are spared.

The following day the town is summoned for another sacrifice. There is an ongoing drought and the town's leaders believe sacrificing a female virgin is the answer to bring forth rain. Twisted fools. The King orders his daughter to be sacrificed. The gorgeous princess is appalled. He also orders Maya to be sacrificed as well I believe. Either way, Zed is motivated to put a stop to this madness. He causes a ruckus and a distraction which sparks a rebellion by knocking down the massive scaffolding that has been erected for a town beautification project. Zed ends up killing or defeating the town's enforcement officer Sargon played by Gone In 60 Second's Vinnie Jones. Zed saves the princess a fiery death and good riddance to the high priest. With the help of Oh, he ends up falling into the furnace of flames. The town cheers. Zed and Oh gain their freedom and perhaps this immoral town can raise their standards.

Zed and Maya embark to Egypt. Oh sticks around with Eema to begin a family and becomes the mayor of the town it seems. A happy ending devoid of the humor that led us up to this point.

This movie is short and the ending is terrible. Nacho Libre is superior. I am not sure what happened. It just fell off a cliff. I was hoping for them escaping this town and God reigning down fire and brimstone as this town is vanquished. Either way, the ending was totally hokey, completely unrealistic. The last 20 minutes seemed like it was edited and directed, written too, by a high school drama club. The first half had some parts that are worth talking about. But this movie does not approach the comedy and satisfaction that Hangover brought us.

If you see this movie instead of Transformers II you should be sacrificed.

I allocate this movie two stars.**

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

2009-06-25T05:57:00.000-07:00

Let the haters hate, Michael Bay does it again. Unlike the latest Terminator movie, this movie satisfies the hype and like Devastator which sucks up the world around it and spits it out the other end, Bay sucks up the criticism and spits it out as well. I am not sure which part of the body he spits it out, that is another story.

I do not not see where the criticism is emanating from. It has incredible music, far away scenes, scenes that are close to home, hilarious humor, gorgeous woman, bad ass characters, intensity, etc. This movie is not for kids. Though they will see it. This movie has adult scenes and realistic language.

Megan Fox is back and she is gorgeous as ever. Mikaela Banes is her character's name. It is a stretch that a female that hot can be walking around a car shop in that atmosphere while dressing like that. But we will let that pass. Angelina Jolie in Gone In 60 Seconds atleast had coveralls on in her mechanic scene so that is a little more realistic. Mikaela did not seem to be a mechanic but more of an artist, that is believable. After watching the movie a second time, it is her father who manages the car shop. Regardless, her dress and wardrobe are unbefitting her environment, but lets movie onward.

This movie has transformers in all sizes and shapes, even different angles. For example, one scene had a transformer use mini machines to form a robot that was perfectly thin-so that the machine was undetectable to the naked eye until the light hit it at an oblique angle.

Shia LaBeouf is back and is spectacular as Sam Witwicky. Again, he brings his A game. His charisma, acting skills, make those intense action scenes look even more majestic. With that said, his character chooses a school where Freshman are not allowed to drive a car. OK, if one does not have a car, so what? If one has a sorry ass ride, another easy choice. But not only in his car spectacular, it is a loyal alien robot with out of this world capabilities. Forget that college. Go somewhere else.

The movie begins with Josh Duhamel as Captain Lennox leading a covert military strike team called NEST. Their primary mission is to root out and locate hiding Decepticans and eliminate them. Optimus Prime and the other autobots are in full operation and working with this US comprised team. Though there may be some English soldiers involves since Matthew Marsden has an English accent. He is Graham and is on this team. Marsden has been seen before in Black Hawk Down. Tyrese Gibson as USAF Tech Sergeant Epps is back and he is outstanding. He is funny and his comments make the movie seem completely genuine. He has one of the best lines in the movie towards end, short and poignant.

The outset of the movie is a huge fight scene involving Prime killing a much larger Deceptican called Demolisher. The Deceptican Sideways is elimanated as well in the fast paced melee. Sideways does not put a fight accept trying to run for cover. Well, he does knock back the Autobot female motorcycle triple team. Sideswipe splits him in half while rolling on one wheel with incredible agility and speed. If that is not balance and hand blade coordination, I am not sure what is. Demolisher busts up Shanghai a little bit and this upsets some liberal politician and ofcourse Obama. How do I know he is a liberal? He is a wimp. This politician, flies to Diego Garcia which is in the Indian Ocean, this is the headquarters of NEST. He argues with Lennox, Prime, and Glenn Morshower who plays General Morshower. I guess Bay liked his last name. Glenn is mainly in 24 as the trusty and loyal Secret Service agent. This politician seems to be on a which hunt and it is totally off kilter. He fails to see the goodness in Prime and the Autobots and in their vital mission to cleanse this planet of the Deceptican threat.

Sam is going off to college and seems to have some of the Allspark with him. A small piece of it scraped off of the Cube and seems to have popped loose when he was packing his luggage for college. When he arrives at college, he meets Leo. Ramon Rodriguez plays this whacky character who leads an IT team in locating secret alien information and posting them on the web. He is Sam's dorm roommate. Sam is trying to consume the college atmosphere when world wide events are beginning to unfold. Prime visits him and asks him for his help in being his human representative since the NEST team is being challenged by the pathetic current administration. Sam does not realize that the spark sent a bunch of secret codes into his brain and the Decepticans know about it. Soundwave has sunk his tentacles into the NEST's satelite and is listening to their communication and anything else that flows through that satellite. Sam rebuffs Prime, he is ignorant of the dangerous situation brewing.

Sam returns to school and is being pursued by Isabel Lucas who is Alice. She is smoking hot but Sam has Makaela which should eliminate any ideas. His bad. Alice seems to have him in her sites but it is strange that bumblebee has her inside, in the passenger seat and does not sense that she is a Deceptican. That is right, an alien robit with as much bite as the Terminator but the TX probably would not have been killed by being smashed like between the car and pole. But the TX's strength was too improbably to be taken seriously. No way she gets up without any affects after being blown up by a missile at point blank range at the cemetary.

Makaela is also in the sights of the Decepticans. Sam gives her the slice of the all spark after it inadvertently turns a bunch of his family's household appliances into some nasty little machines. Good think Bumblebee was there to squash them. Makaela locates the small spy in her garage and captures him alive. Malaela flies to Sam's college and find him being seduced by Alice. Makaela leaves, with Sam in hot pursuit. Alice flips and grabs same with her steal tongue and begins to choke him. This is after Sam paints strange signs all over the dorm room. Leo is pissed. The signs look Chinese. Bay could not help to put a poster of Bad Boys II in the room. Makaela and Leo hear the ruckus, they both return to see the impossible or improbable. A steal tongue ten feet long choking Sam. Makeala throws something at Alice or this nasty robot if I recall correctly, the metal box holding her miniature Deceptican hostage, and this forces this uncaring robot to let go of Sam. The three of them escape into the library and I am not sure why they just hide there. I would not have fun into a dead end. Alice has firepower and seems to have been a special invention, she is called a Pretender. Makeala eventually hotwires a car, smashes it into Alice and they drive off.

They do not escape. When the Decepticans locate Sam they pounce. Megatron returns and with another Deceptican to interrogate Sam. A Deceptican who can switch into a helicopter uses a magnet to pick up the car and carry it across the Hudson into an abandoned wharehouse. Megatron uses his robot minions to pry around Sam's brain. Sam, Leo, and Makaela would probably be killed at this point if it was not for the Autobots. Prime fights off Megatron and the fight ends up in a forest area outside the city. Sam rides with Prime as Makaela and Leo are with Bumblebee. Prime gives chase after Megatron and fights him in the forest. This scene is hectic and pulsating. But it is a trap. Starscream and Grindor join in. Prime kills Grindor and impales Starscream's arm but Megatron stabs Prime through his centerpoint. Prime is out of commission.

The Fallen senses this and comes to Earth and destroys an aircraft carrier. Rampage goes after Sam's parents in Paris with impunity. The Decepticans are sensing an opening. The asinine liberal politician uses Obama's wimpiness and shuts down NEST and the remaining Autbots. The Autobots are pissed and feel betrayed-but they oblige. I do not blame them.

Sam, Leo, and Makaela are with Bumblebee and discussing their options. Two Autobot jokesters are with them. They are straight clowns and bring light to this movie. Unlike Jar Jar Binks in The Phantom Menace, these two are funny. These two have character. Jar Jar was just annoying and undermined that film. Though the Darth Mal saved it. Leo pipes in and says he knows someone who may be able to help them. It is none other than: Agent Simmons. John Turturro is back and is running a meat shop. His sorry department has been wiped off the Federal slate but he has many secrets in his business's basement. He could be a conspiracy freak but he has hard evidence to support his claims. In addition to have full blown experience with the alien machine menace. He has also been running a secret website competing with Leo's. Simmons, with Makeala's Deceptican hostage locate another possible sign that the Autobots and Decepticans have been rummaging around Earth. It is in the Space and Science museum, somewhere on the east coast. They sneak in at the bring of closing using tasers on the security guards. Leo is funny. I can see why Bay kept him around. I would not have thought this movie needed another character but I guess they did. Well, no Anthony Anderson but they had the two trash talking robots. Oh well, it worked out.

With the fragment from the all spark, they ignite Jetfire. An SR-71 resting in display. He is a former Deceptican. He transports them to Egypt using a space bridge. Jetfire is old and wise. The final scene is evolving around Egypt. The Pyramids are a center of attention once again in a film. The Decepticans have the Destructacons in the vicinity. This forms into Devastator. The NEST team drops off that brain dead politician in the middle of no where. And after Sam calls in and informs them of their coordinates, the NEST drops their team in the area. But Starscream locates them and shoots out a electronic jamming pulse. All communication is deal. With the Decepticans closing, Epps says the obvious, they are "going to get their asses whipped." And that is saying alot since this movie is a full flung blockbuster with a myriad of memorable lines. It does not quit. The best statement of the movie. This movie is so real, one would never think that special affects were used. Bay is seeking the gold metal.

The final fight involves airfighters, a navy rail gun which is still about 10 years out, and Simmons making this awesome phone call to a navy captain. This rail gun is used to knock down Devastator who is ripping apart the top part of the pyramid. They have have hover crafts in this movie. The marines are on their way after communication is finally open.

Prime returns to life after Sam finally reaches him. This is right after Sam has a near death experience where he meets the Dynasty of Primes. In the storyline, they have sacrificed themselves to save Earth by using their bodies to conceal the key to the sun harvester. I am sure some religious folks could be upset that Sam does not meet God as many people think of him. But it is fiction and the goodness of Sam and the sacrifice is amazing. A blast from Megatron is what almost lethally imperils Sam. This scene that I am describing is not unlike the first magnificent film when Sam has to run with the allspark across a full blown war zone in Mission City/LA. Sam's parents are grabbed as hostages and as a ruse to suck in Sam. Rampage and the Decepticans drop them off in the middle of this war zone. Decepticans have cool miniature surveillance machines as well. These types of miniature spy machines are being researched as we speak.

Apparently the largest Egyptian pyramid has been used to conceal this massive device that has the power to consume the energy of the sun. It is called a sun harvester. The Decepticans are known to destroy stars, even with life forms present. Nice fellows. Jetfire kills Scorponok which is no small feat but is hurt in the fight. Sam gives the Matrix of Keys to Prime by stabbing him in the chest with it. Prime reawakens but is still weak. Jetfire merges with Prime and Prime flies to the top to the pyramid and destroys the sun harvester. He eventually kills The Fallen. Prime is a living powerhouse again which brings hope to the Autobots and the brave NEST team. Prime's power almost destroys Megatron but Megatron and Starcream escape-to fight another day. Transformers III is on its way. Starscream makes a comment about why he chose to be a coward at the end but I did not see that. He was firing missiles at Bumblebee and the one who located Sam probably with Soundwave's help. But Starscream did not confront Prime in Jetfire mode so that is what he could be referring too. After watching the film a second time, Starcream was insinuating to Megatron that they should retreat and survive. Starcream should not have used the word coward though, this only damages his own reputation further in terms of how Megatron thinks of him. Starcream should have just said, after the Fallen was vanquished by Prime and Devastator was devastated and communications were reopened by the US Military, that retreating from that current battle would be the prudent choice.

Starcream's voice sounded weaker in this film and two different times he is bitched around by Megatron. Megatron seems to have tank treads on his feet in this amazing second version.

I think this movie set the bar higher. It was better than Wolverine and Star Trek. Terminator does not even come close. The imagination here is unequaled. The big knock on the first Transformers movie was the 20 minute scene in the middle where Sam was looking for the glasses in his house. Makeala was in his room and his parents found out. It was just a slow scene, bathroom break time. None of this occured here in this supersize sequel. There was not two minutes of boredom. In fact, it was overwhelming. I will probably see this movie again this weekend.

I allocate this movie five stars.*****

The Proposal

2009-06-20T22:37:00.000-07:00

This is one of those movies that falls apart right in the beginning. It is a cute little movie that has about five minutes of oringinality. Sandra Bullock is Margaret Tate who plays an editor of a powerful publishing company. She is paid well, holds alot of clout, and is compensated well. The problem she cared little for US immigration policy by not completing some simple paper work. It is not as if this involved another job or making some extra money, she chose not to complete some paper work in time. The deadline has passed.

Why her employer is notified about this and not her is beyond me. Perhaps she is just tossing away the paper work. But that does not make a lot of sense. No one with her situation would jeopardize it by shirking on some necessary paperwork.

This cockamamy plan she quickly concocts involves Ryan Reynolds who is Andrew Paxton-her executive assistant. She is called into the President's office who has apparently called in the company's legal representative. This is in New York. Their hands are tied and the INS has ordered her to leave or be deported. She is Canadien and her Visa has expired. She would have to remain in Canada for a year which would wreck her career with the American company. She is devastated but her ego is so massive and overwhelming, she blackmales Ryan into marrying her. She calls him into the President's office and informs them that they are about to get married. How a superior can marry a helping hand and not violate any company policy is another story.

Andrew should have rejected her right in the beginning. Her being deported is her problem. They would have put a lazy incompetent in her position and the company would have taken a hit. The President would realize his errors and would have had to make a move. Andrew would have benefited since he then could possibly become an editor and perhaps get his own book published. This movie is complete fiction but it is pleasant. The Eddie Murphy movie called Imagine That is superior to this one. I am not sure when Bullock will be in another good movie. She was in Crash but it has been a long time since A Time To Kill.

This movie does have a strong point made by Maggie that INS is more worried about terrorists than her. She brings talent and drive to America, deporting her is asinine. I hope INS does not spend too much time on her case. In fact, at the end, the INS detective who Andrew and Maggie met in the beginning flies to Alaska to give them a second chance to admit their sham. What a waste of tax payer money. And he gets cocky about it as well. His priorities are misconstrued. She does not hold state secrets nor is a threat to anyone-atleast not physically.

Mary Steenburgen is Grace Paxton who is Andrew's mother. Craig T. Nelson is Joe Paxton, the father. Mary is still pretty and she is nice in the film. Craig has the difficult part since he is plays a hard headed father who seems to have been disagreeing with his son for many years now. He is tough on his son which is realistic. This movie is not a total loss.

Betty White is Andrew's Grandma Annie. I have always liked her. But she loses it at the end and has a heart attack because of it. She was screaming at Joe for always fighting with Andrew. Andrew's relationship with his father is familiar but worse than most. Annie survives but Maggie escapes back to New York.

Most of the movie occurs in Alaska. Joe and Grace are quite successful. They own almost all of the businesses in town. Joe wants Andrew to return and continue the family businesses. Not sure why he turns this down, he could possibly spread the small empire. Andrew has a cute local girl who he could pursue as well. But Andrew does not want to remain in the small town, up in the middle of no where. Tough call.

Maggie has been Andrew's supervisor for 3 years. She has ran him ragged, she does not have a life of her own. Her character is comprable to Meryl Streep's disgusting character in The Devil Wears Prada. Hard to believe that character was based on a true homo sapien. After they inform the company leadership of their intention and surpass INS for the time being, the weekend is on the verge of commencing. Andrew's family is having a party and Maggie takes advantage of this. So they fly to Alaska. Maggie is a city girl but her wardrobe is just ridiculous. She over packs. The funny thing about this is that Andrew knows she needs him more than he needs her so he picks on her and forces her to carry her own luggage. The movie would have been unbearable if it was the other way around.

There is some funny parts in Alaska. Maggie and Andrew agree to get married in Alaska, in the barn. No joke. Certainly not Maggie's dream. They are about to get married by one of the family employees. Not even a priest. The movie is sort of strange her. Another odd part is when Annie is dancing around the fire in a pagan worship of nature in the middle of the forest. Hollywood is often anti church but this is just striking. The guy marrying them is also the guy who strips for the females in an all woman's club. Whatever.

The musical score is nonexistent. I did laugh in several scenes but nothing was spectacular. The tiger scene in Hangover was hilarious for example.

I allocate this movie one star.*